Red Robin
by MarinaBing
Summary: Jacob travels to Seattle to surprise his best friend Bella and runs in to her room mate. An over achieving, athletic beautiful girl named Renesme. She is a dedicated and focused athletic scholarship student, with a hidden past. She has no time for boys. She doesn't date. But what will she do when she can't get Jacob out of her head? All human. No baby imprinting - Rated M
1. Chapter 1 Runnig Girl

**1. ****Running girl**

_I'm lost. I can't believe I've gotten myself lost! _ He pulled over after 20 minutes of driving around the campus grounds. He'd retraced his route at least three or four times. Jacob had spent the past 4hrs driving to Seattle to visit Bella only to get lost inside the maze that is the University of Washington campus. This weekend was supposed to be a surprise for Bella. Well, that was the original plan. Now it looked like he'd have to call her for directions. _How humiliating... You douche! _ Jacob knew she'd be spending the weekend alone. Ever since her boyfriend Edward went off to Berkley over a year ago to study she had been free pretty much every weekend. Who better than BFF Jake to step-in and keep her company? His and Bella's fathers had been high school friends. Jacob remembered playing mud pies in his backyard with Bella, it was one of his earliest memories. Ever since he was matured enough to have a crush on a girl, Jake had loved Bella Swan… and Bella has loved Jacob Black for exactly zero of that time. Well sure, she loves him but more like a brother and brotherly things are far from the kind of thoughts Jacob has for her.

It was almost 5 o'clock, the sun was making its way towards the horizon on a chilly October afternoon. The colour of the sky was a beautiful cool orange. It cast a sepia light over the school, like an old photo. The whole place looked really nice. _Sepia? Why do you even know that word? _Joggers were shuffling past his car, a few couples were cuddling or making out up near the Quad. Everyone seemed to know which way they were headed.

Jacob sucked up his pride and got out of the car hoping to get some advice. As he hopped up to the footpath he was very nearly bowled over by a girl jogging. No running. The focus and speed she was traveling at was most definitely running. "Oh. Sorry." She panted. Her hand reaching up to cover her mouth. "No harm, no foul." He smiled. Palms held outwards in a forgiving gesture. "I was a million miles away. Well, about 3 miles actually." She looked down and pressed a button on her bulky sports watch. "And on track for a good time breakdown" she nodded in approval to herself. He interrupted "Um, can you help me find McCarthy? I'm totally lost". She thought for a moment. "Sure. You follow this road to gate 3. Then take a right into Whitman. Follow it along for about 3 blocks then on the right you'll see it building N8. There's generally parking out front or around behind." She smiled cheekily, "Clear as mud?" He agreed, sniggering "Yep. I'm sure I'll find it. How hard can it be?" he countered, shrugging and made his way back to the driver's door. "Thanks for your help." She smiled, putting her earphones back in, "No worries" she called, taking off into her near sprint-jog again.

Jacob started the car and took off driving alongside his tour guide for a few beats, giving her a wave as he passed by. He travelled two more bocks past gate 3, right into Whitman and building N8 was right there. Just as described. _Well that easy. You should have got directions half an hour ago. Stupid! Bella's probably gone out by now. There's no dang parks anywhere. _He doubled back a few times. Stalking some guy all the way to his car and slotting into the perfect park right out front.

He entered the building and came to an abrupt stop just inside the entry foyer "Shit!" he exclaimed to himself. He shuffled out of the door way and leaned over to the wall, silently pressing his forehead in to the bricks. Laughing at his own stupidity he spun round to make his way back out of the building slamming into a student in the doorway.

"Ouch" she squealed as she rebounded off his chest landing flat on her backside. Looking up from her awkward position she laughed. "Lost boy! Looks like you found the place. What's the rush?" she asked as she rubbed the graze on her hand. "Sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry!" Jake apologized reaching out an arm to help her up. She reached her long toned arm up and he helped pull her to standing. "YOUR directions were great. I'M just an idiot who doesn't know my friends dorm number" Jacob sighed and put his face into his hands, is shoulders sinking. She reached a friendly arm up to his. Her hand was warm and electrifying as she brushed against his skin.

"What's your friend's name? I might know him?" she offered "Ah. He, is a she." He corrected warily. "Her name's Bella. Bella Swan? She's a freshman but she only just moved to the on-campus dorms this term." She paused, looking intently into his eyes, recognition flashed in her emerald eyes. "You must be Jacob." She grimaced, looking towards the stairs. She indicated to herself, "I'm Renesme, Bella's roommate." Her head cocked to the side, apparently thinking something over. Her lips scrunched to the side and she bit into her thumb nail. "What?" he asked, puzzled by her hesitation. She took a long breath in through her nose, she her lips tucked into her mouth. "Bella doesn't know you're coming does she?"

"I thought I'd surprise her. I know she'll be on her own this weekend" A worrying thought came into his mind. "You are in the middle of semester right?"

"Yeah we are." She replied, he thought her heard a hint of irritation in her voice. "But, Edward flew in for a visit this week anyway. He leaves tomorrow morning, so…" _fill in the blanks big fella _Jacob looked at her, his brows raised, eyes questioning, his head shaking slightly side to side. Pity clouded her eyes._ He has no idea._ "So… they're kind of having a 'private' farewell party." she hesitated, two fingers motioning in the air qualifying the word 'private'. "Oh" he said, still not understanding. "Ohhhh man" he moaned as comprehension washed over him, his eyes lowered, colour shading the cheeks of his russet skin. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?" he questioned, looking up at Renesme through his long dark lashes. Giving him a kind tap on the elbow, "You had good intensions. Maybe you should have phoned first or something though." She placated. "Let's go up and see if their…free." She turned and practically sprinted up the stairs. As she stopped outside in the hall she gestured to the door. "We're in room 203 for future reference."

Jacob looked at the door. A gold and purple stripped scarf hung from the handle. _You truly are a chump Jacob._ "Does that mean what I think in means?" as if to answer him, a soft carnal moan drifted out from the dorm. "Don't answer that" he whispered. His arms hung by his side, he just stood there, fixed, is eyes locked on to the telling scarf.

Quickly, she linked her arms through his and turned him back to the stairs. "You look kind of fit? Do you do much cardio?" she questioned, not waiting for an answer. "Let's go over to Husky stadium. I haven't run stairs for a while and you look like you could burn off some steam" She got no agreement or argument as she dragged him down the stairs and away from the sounds drifting from her door room.


	2. Chapter 2 An Acquaintance

The stadium lights weren't on yet as they entered the grandstand. The light was still filtering through, casting a striped patent onto the seats. He followed her to the base of the main stand and stopped at the base. His eyes scanned up the dizzying heights of steps that scaled to the top. "Let's do, say… Five single step reps and then three double steps"

Shaking himself out of his private torture he sighed, "I think I'm just gunner drive home. Three is a crowd."

"Don't be stupid Jacob. You just spent, what? Three hours driving here?"

"Closer to four, La Push is further west than Forks" he clarified darkly.

"Well, either way. You're not driving through the night running away from that." She countered, pointing back towards the dorm buildings. "Here" she ordered, handing him a simple hair tie that had been around her wrist, you might need this. "Come on, it'll do you good." She huffed, as she stood behind him nudging him up the first stair. He pulled his long hair back into a low ponytail at the nape of his neck, his feet felt like lead as he started in to a light jog up the stadium stairs.

"Do you do any sports?" She enquired coming to run next to him, their steps in sync with one another.

"I used to do a bit of Karate actually." He grinned. "I've been going to a Dojo in Forks since I was five. I've even went to some regional and state comps. But I haven't done it much these last few years. I guess high school got in the way. It got too expensive for day anyway." A sad longing rolled out from within him as he spoke of his craft, he's eyes betraying how much he missed it. "And now, now I don't know what I want to do." he added quietly. "But all that training stays with you." He puffed his chest out, lifting his chin and pretend to dust off his shoulder. "I've still got a little some, some."

She smiled over to him, happy to have distracted him for at least a few minutes. "Well, pick up the pace lost boy. Shouldn't you be used to doing these with water buckets and a yoke?" she giggled as she increased the pace.

Jacob kept up the stride instantly. "What are you training for anyway" he asked as they reached the top. Turning around to decent the steps she answered "Track. Hurdles specifically. I do sprints and long jump too but the hurdles are my particular form of torment. It keeps me pretty busy."

"Wow. What's your major?"

"Nursing. I really like science and medicine and helping people," She shrugged. "And it's a great job to travel with too. Not that I don't love Callam County."

"You're from Washington?"

"Sequim born and bred. Well sort of… I went to Sequim High."

"You know for Nineteen, you seem really dedicate and focused." He puffed as he moderated his speed on the decent, trying to avoid tripping and breaking his neck, or tripping and making an even bigger ass of himself.

"I know what I want and I refuse to let my life pass me by merely as an observer. I want to write my own story, you know? I don't want my childhood to define my future. Start my own story." She elucidated with a melancholy expression on her face. "And I'm not nineteen. I got my GED in junior year and got early acceptance here."

"Ha. Were the same age!" he nudged her as they reached the bottom, turning to ascend again.

Taking off his t-shirt so it wouldn't get sweaty he asked, "What do your parents think about you being away from home?" His long black hair flowing into the contours of his muscled back. She eyed his sculpted abbs and broad shoulders, a slight flush rising to her cheeks as she appreciated his manliness. "Ah. That's kind of a loaded question. Let's just say that the people who matter to me the most are supporting me 100%" she answered cryptically.

She took off on front of him ending the conversation and any further questions he might have had. _ Man, what a great ass. Oh god dipshit, cool it. _

They made their way to the top. Again. Turned to go back down. Again. "Well, it's not like you have to worry about a job for at least two more year's right?"

"Right! And it's almost three more years. Lucky me!" she giggled as she plodded her way down. "Actually" she said looking at her watch. "We might have to call this training session short. I have the auditorium booked for 6:30. I only get it for half an hour and I want to get out of these clothes. Are you coming?"

Jacob felt his breath catch as she mentioned getting out of her clothes for half an hour. She noticed the colour in his cheeks. "Relax Jacob, I meant changing out of these sweats before we go to the hall. No scarfs on the door! Get your mind out of the gutter" she laughed before setting of into a trot back to the residence.

As they approached room 302 they stopped to listen for any suggestive noise. All was silent. Said scarf was still on the handle. She turned to look at Jacob. "I really need to get my stuff out of there." She moaned. "I'm going in." Renesme hammered her fist on the door. "Bella!" she hollered. "Times up. I need to get my stuff." She turned to Jacob and winked, a wide grin across her pretty face. "We're coming in ready or not!"

Jacobs' eyes popped, his head shaking like a cartoon character. "I'm not going in there!" he squeaked. "Don't tell her I'm here." He hissed as she opened the door and scurried in. "I'm keeping my eyes closed" she murmured. Jacob could hear muffled laughs through the door, the sound of draws opening and closing, papers being shuffled, a bang and a yelp, followed by an expletive. Then she emerged from the room, clutching some books and papers in one arm and a bundle of clothes in the other dragging what looked like white coffin with stickers all over it out the door.

"Here, hold these." She commanded as she thrust the papers and book in to his arms. She leaned the casket like thing against the wall and gathered the clothes into both arms and marched down the hall. Jacob in tow. "I'll just be 5 minutes." She called as she disappeared into the female bathrooms.


	3. Chapter 3 The Lonely Child

**I thought I'd better add a disclaimer... Stephanie Myer owns Twilight as all the characters. I'm just borrowing them to mix it up a little.**

* * *

Jake slid down the wall, landing with a thud as his back side hit the flood. _What an ass up. What are you gunna do now hey Black? Follow Bella's gym junkie roommate around campus all evening then sleep in the car?_ He rubbed his hands in his face and let out a long sigh. He looked over to the big white box leaning against the wall. _ What the hell is that? Some kind of exercise torture device? _ He looked down to the papers in his hand. The pages were filled with rows and rows of music. It looked like a foreign language to Jacob. Dots and circles, lines and squiggles flowing and arching up and down the page. The book was a music book. He opened it and saw the hand written notes across the page. Numbers above the lines. Hashes and dots everywhere. He flipped through the book. Stopping at page that was tilted 'The lonely Child' at the top. By Renesme Mason written in a beautiful feminine script. Then he saw 'cello' written on the top corner. "Cello." he said out loud to himself, pleased that little mystery was solved. _God, how many things does this chick do? Talk about fingers in every pie. Mmmm pie. I wonder if she stops long enough to eat, she's probably vegetarian or something. I can't do tofu. _

Renesme reappeared before long, dressed in Jeans and a pale blue button down shirt. Ballet flats in hand. "I feel human again" she smiled. "Let me just chuck my clothes in the doorway and we'll go"

They set off across the street and back towards Meany Hall. Jacob carrying the papers and Renesme her instrument.

They entered the great auditorium, the sound of the door clicking open and their footsteps on the parquetry floor echoed through the arena. They climbed up on to the stage. Jacob had never been on a stage before and was taken aback as to how large everything looked. It was quite daunting. Renesme dragged a chair and a music stand into the middle of the stage. Then she lugged the instrument over and placed it on the floor. Kneeling over it, she opened the latches and opened the lid. She pulled out the cello and laid it on its side. She fiddled with the bow and wiped some amber block over it. Then she paused. She looked at Jacob as if suddenly remembering he was there. She left the stage and returned dragging a second chair. Gesturing for him the sit. He did.

She silently took the papers from his hands, sifted through the book and opened it up. Placing it on the stand. She picked up a tuning fork and tapped it on her leg. She closed her eyes as she held it to her hear. Jacob was suddenly aware he was sharing a very private moment for this young women. He shifted in his seat but stayed, transfixed, his eyes never leaving her face. She opened her eyes and smiled at him as she bent to pick up the instrument with reverence. She sat, opened her legs apart and placed the instrument between her knees. Jacob swallowed hard as his eyes darted to her opening legs, feeling the provocativeness of the gesture. She tucked astray hair behind her ear and lifted the tuning fork again. This time placing it in the wood of the cello. As she plucked the string for the first time the note echoed through the hall. She continued to pluck the strings, fiddling with the pegs and twisting the delicate mechanisms. Then she lowered the fork and reached down for the bow. Her shirt absently falling forward revealing the soft undulating skin of her cleavage. She straightened, placed her bow on the strings continued to tune the instrument. She closed her eyes once again as she created the up and down of the scales. The simple music filing the hall. She opened her eyes, her green orbs piercing his soul. "Let me play for you" she whispered.

Her gaze honed in on the pages in front of her and she began to play._ For me_.

The melody was haunting, fresh and young one minute then fouled and painful the next. He didn't know the title of the piece but he had a pretty good idea. She continued playing as the piece grew louder and faster, then suddenly she played the climaxing note. It lasted several beats, the sound echoed in the air for what seemed like minutes. His gaze locked on hers. Mesmerised by the music. Startled by the effect it had had on him. She looked expectedly at him. "How was that?" she asked.

"How was that…? How was that!? Renesme that was the single most amazing thing I have ever heard or seen in my entire life. Did you write that?" she nodded her assent. "I couldn't look away." He exclaimed. "You're really talented."

"No, no I'm not." He eyes darting down to the floor, her cheeks flushing an appealing pink. "I just… I just really connect with that particular piece. It's special to me" she muttered. "I wrote it about a really hard time in my life." She smiled as she sucked in a breath. "It was good therapy" she beamed, squaring her athletic shoulders and smirking at Jacob, the bubbly girl he had met today returned leaving the haunted reverent woman gone.

With the quiet spell broken, she stood, packing up her music and the instrument. She checked her watch, her brows raising. "Oh God! Let's get out of here before the chamber orchestra arrives."

"Are they that bad?" he joked "I just want to avoid someone." She frowned as several people entered the auditorium, most were carrying cases. One long haired Latino boy carrying a large black case similar to Renesme's veered off into their path. "Are you finally joining us Renesme?" he asked in his strong Spanish accent. "I can take you through some of the music if you like." Renesme wrapped her arm around Jacob, taking him by surprise, she leaned into him and quickly whispered. "Please hold me, just for a minute. Act like by boyfriend." He complied, wrapping his arm safely around her, resting his hand on her hip. She smiled nervously at the boy. "No, Nahuel. Regular orchestra is enough for me. I'm flat out keeping practice up for one, let alone two. You music majors will just have to make do with however many cellist you have, sorry." He nodded his understanding, his eyes gliding over her body, taking in the way Jacobs's hands rested on her. He gave Jacob a look of malice that made him unconsciously hold Renesme tighter. Renesme turned back to the door nudging Jake along as they hurried out to the street. She waited for the large doors to bang close before her stepped away from Jake, breaking his grasp on her. "Thanks for that." she said, her voice unsteady, obviously rattled. "Ex?" he prompted. "Ah, No. More like stalker crush." She explained, still lost in her own thoughts.

"I… I don't date." She stated. Jake's face lifted in intrigue. _What the hell does that mean? Who doesn't date?_ "What? Are you married or something?" Jake laughed. "No!" she huffed. "Nahuel can't seem to get the message though. Hopefully he thinks I'm taken now and will back off. It's just that," she paused thinking of how best to explain. "I'm here on a scholarship and I barely have enough to time for study and athletics, I squeeze in my music when I can, not forgetting my alone 'sanity time' and of course work and friends. Boyfriends can just wait." She said.

"Wow, you're a busy girl!"

"Yeah, well, if you want something bad enough you have to make it happen yourself. No one's gunna hand it to you." She sighed. A glimpse of defeat washed across her features. It was gone as quickly as it came. "You hungry? I'm starving" she confessed, a half veiled attempt to change the subject. "I'm always hungry" he stated. Glad the mood had lifted. "I think Jacob, that is something that we defiantly have in common." She grinned, as they made their way to a little pizza shop on campus.

The pair walking side by side, her cello towed behind them. They shared a giant pizza; chatting and sharing small tid-bits about themself. Jacob spoke of the heart break of losing his mother and then the effort it took to care for his wheelchair bound father. Both the restrains and the freedom that life on a Reservation could have. His feeling of being lost in regards to what he wanted out of life now that school was over. College never really being an affordable option for him. He remained home with his father, earning a little pocket cash by fixing neighbour and friends cars.

Renesme spoke of how her Grand-Mème Sophie taught her how to play the Cello. The old woman had played in Orchestras around the world before she met Renesme's Grandfather, married and came to live in the USA after the war. How she had taught Renesme to speak French. They shared funny stories about Bella. She shared nothing of her early childhood. He sensed her holding back and knew better than to ask. As the night drew on, Jacob mentioned his poorly thought out journey and how uncomfortable it would be sleeping in the Rabbit.

"You're not sleeping in a car like a hobo Jacob! You can stay with us." She grinned, brows pulled in exasperation. _As if I'd let him sleep in his car!_

"Are you sure? I don't want to get you in trouble or anything?"

"It's no problem, honest. It's not like Edward isn't there every few weekends anyway." She blurted out. "Oh… Yeah." he nodded, defeat in his eyes, his face, his whole body.Renesme saw the crumpled slump in his shoulders, his whole posture that of a defeated man. _God Bella, do you have any idea how beautiful this boy is? Inside and out…That face…He is gorgeous…Ness you don't have time, remember! Yep. Red Robin, we are never gunna be that._

"Come on." She breathed, pulling on his arm. "It's past my bed time and you need your beauty sleep!"

As they approached the dorm room it was late, quiet was across the halls. She bit her lip looking up contritely at Jacob's 6"4' stature. "We only have a small couch; I don't know how well you'll fit."

He shrugged, "Anything's better than the Rabbit." Entering the room it was dark, Renesme flicked on the bed side lamp, illuminating her side of the room. Jacob could see the other bed in the room. Bella's bed. Her dark hair fanned across the pillow, bare shoulders peaking above the covers, Edwards's naked chest pressed up behind her, his arm around her waist. He pained, looking away. _ Fuck. What am I doing here? This really is low point Jake. I should have just driven home as soon as I got here. _His eyes drifted across the room, landing on the smallest sofa he had ever seen. _Worst freekn' night ever. Well, the company was alright. But I'm gunna be sore in the morning. _Renesme came over with a pillow and a thin throw rug.

"Here," she whispered. "Sorry it's so small."

"It'll be fine" he said, taking his shoes and shirt of, settling in to the makeshift bed.

_Don't look, don't look, don't look. _She turned and switched off the light. Using the cover of darkness she quickly changes into her PJ's. Sliding in to the warmth of her bed she mummed softly "Night Jacob."

"Night"


	4. Chapter 4 Awakenings

She could hear the soft breathing of Bella and Edward and Jakes deeper huffs coming from the tiny sofa. The sounds of the springs creaking as he turned in a vain attempt to get comfortable. After almost 20 min of listening to him toss and turn she rose from her bed and padded over to him. Whispering in the darkness, she said. "Jacob. Do you want to swap? You sound so uncomfortable."

"No, it's ok. You wouldn't fit much better anyway." He replied. "Well… why don't you sleep with me then?"

"Um…?" W_hat the fuck? She wants to sleep with me? _Hearing his misunderstanding, she hurried to clarify. "I mean like, head to toe or something"

"Oh! Oh. Ok? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be like a slumber party!" she giggled, mockingly.

"No pillow fights?"

"Only if you kick me!"

"I hope your feet don't smell." he teased.

"Ditto!" Her smile trickled into her voice in the darkness as she slipped back onto her pillow. He climbed into her bed lying up-side-down, both shuffling to find an agreeable spot. "This is weird." She whispered.

"Ssssh, don't think about it. I need my beauty sleep remember." He countered. Closing his eyes he felt the comfort of the mattress and allowed himself to relax. She listened to the rhythm of his slumbered breathing as she lulled herself into sleep.

Renesme woke to the quiet sounds of the morning. Looking at the poster on her wall from the wrong angle, she was disorientated. Her awareness focused to the heavy weight across her ribs. She felt the warm breath on her neck, a strong broad bare chest behind her, her pillow the hard bicep of a man. _Shit! How did I get here! Shit! Shit! Shit! God he is built… Don't go there Red Robin, don't go there! _She gently attempted to lift his arm off her. He stirred in his sleep pulling her closer in. _Shit! _

She heard the dorm room open as Bella returned, Renesme guest she was back from seeing Edward off. There was a quick gasp as Bella caught sight of them embraced in bed. "Renesme? Jacob!" Bella squawked, disbelief oozing from her. _Oh Shit!_ In a blur, he bolted upright rolling out of bed, pulling Renesme out of bed with him. He rolled on to the floor landing on his back with a thump; she followed; hair, blanket, arms and legs all a tangled mess. She landed on top of him face to face, the wind knocked out of her. "Bella!" he yelled. His voice an 'I've just been sprung' falsetto.

"Hi Jake." Her tone questioning. Looking at the girl on top of him, Jake pushed Renesme off and jumped to standing. He rushed over to the couch, scrambling to pull his shirt on.

"I didn't think you were coming till later today? When did you get in? Why are you sleeping with my roommate?" Bella demanded.

"Um, I didn't sleep with her. Well, I slept with her but with clothes on and head to toe."

"That didn't look head to toe and there's not many clothes on either." she accused, looking between Jacob and Renesme. Resentment rose in Renesme. _What's to you anyway Bella? You were busy. I talked and had dinner with your 'Friend'. (if that's all he is.)_

"Ahh" He hesitated, reaching his strong arm up to rub the back of his neck. "I wanted to surprise you, so, I came up early. But you were… you were… busy." Stammered Jake nervously. Understanding flashed across Bella's face. Her tell-tale blush scarlet on her skin. "Oh." She gasped, her hands reaching to cover her mouth. Jacob reddened underneath his tanned skin.

Still bristling, Renesme attempted to calm herself. _Poor Jacob. _"You had the scarf on the door. I took Jacob along for a little tour. That's all. I showed him the auditorium. We had pizza."_ God that sounds like a date! _ Bella's eyes narrowed at Renesme._ "_I even made him run stairs!" She added hoping to ease the mood. "Yeah, she's a real task master" added Jake. _With a sexy ass…Shit! God, that sounds like we went on a date! What? No, you came all this way for Bella, you dick. Stop thinking with it! Fuck! You came all this way to visit Bella thinking with it anyway. Shit!_

"I gotta go wiz" he muttered, almost running out of the room. Both women's eyes followed him as he scurried out the door. "So you've met my Jacob." said Bella more as an accusation than a statement.

My _Jacob? They do have a history? Bella always said he was just a friend to her. He wanted more, but she loved Edward too much. Maybe she gets a little bit on the side anyway? Maybe friends with benefits?_

"He seems really nice Bella. Relaxed. Self-assured. Honest." _ A hot native Adonis! Real it in red robin._

"I call him my own personal sun." Bella smiled.

"Yeah. I get that." She agreed, her eyes gazing around there room, stopping at the clock on the wall,

_8:40 _"Shit! It's 8:40!" She shrieked, racing to dress. She stripped off her PJ's. With her back to Bella she fumbled to get on a bra and then the jeans she wore last night. "Crap, crap, crap. I'm never gunna get there on time."

_Holly mother! _Jake came back into the room, his eyes bugging out as she saw Renesme bending over in nothing but a bra and simple white underpants, trying to slip into some dark skinny jeans. She jumped up and down her generous breasts bouncing in her cotton white bra. Her long auburn hair falling in ringlets over her shoulders, nestling into her tight waist. _That is one sexy woman._ With her back still to the door Bella started to giggle at Renesme's antics. "Relax Ren. I'll drive you."

"Oh, can you?" She asked. Gratitude radiating out of the question. She looked up to Bella and also saw Jacob standing in the doorway. His eyes wider that the Grand Canyon, a silly little grin plastered across his face. "Ahhh!" Renesme squealed, dashing behind the wardrobe door. "God Jacob! Did you have to just stand there and look?"

"Um… Sorry Renesme. I only saw a bit. I mean…I didn't see anything bad. I mean… It's not like its bad to look at. I mean…I wasn't looking for very long." _Shit! She must think I'm such a perv. You are Black. Always thinking with your dick. _He paused, at a loss for what to say. _"_Sorry."

"Just turn around, ok." She implored. He turned and Bella came to stand by him. She looked at him with probing eyes. He shrugged at her and mouthed _sorry_ with a pleading look. He searched into her chocolate eyes, into the soul of his best friend. The girl that he was madly in love with… or was he? He felt the familiar knot in his chest. He reached out and grabbed hold of her hand. He knew she only felt friendship for him but it felt satisfying to hold her petite little hand in his. _A guy can dream_. But _maybe I need to vary my dreams up a little though._

Attempting to correct way the morning had transpired, he grinned at Bella. "Let's start this day again shall we?" With a jest of false formality he droned, "Good morning, Miss Swann"

"Good day to you, Mr Black, you're here early."

"Well yes, in my haste to see you, I failed to confirm you availability last night. The lovely Miss Renesme was an amicable host, she provided me with entertainment, nourishment and shelter. So, what is on the itinerary for today Miss Swann?" He bowed in an exaggerated arc.

Renesme scrambled to find a clean t-shirt, swinging it on in record speed. Lying on the floor looking under her bed she wildly reached for her shoes. _God! What start to the day! How embarrassing! Jumping up and down half undressed. How the hell did I end up spooning Jacob?_ _Focus... Socks on. Shoes on. Bag. Hair. Oh shit look at my hair. Messy bun. Done. Look at those two dumbasses. There's got to be something more going on there._

Jacob was tossing around ideas for their plans for the day. "We can hang out here or catch a movie." answered Bella. Renesme quickly piped in, "Can you take me to my lesson first? It's only a few blocks from the theatre. Can you fit my bike in the tray too?"

"Yeah sure. We'll just have to squish the three of us in the front." They  
piled into Bella's Chevy truck, Bella at the wheel. Jacob opened the other door  
and waved Renesme into the centre. Jake clambered in next to Renesme and off  
they went.


	5. Chapter 5 Voltage

The journey lasted about 6 minutes but it felt like a life time for Jacob. He was acutely aware of Renesme's thigh pushed against his. Their arms pressed parallel to one another. She felt it too, like a current of electricity was running through their body arching across the points of contact. It was making it hard to concentrate. Desperate to break the silence, he started to make small talk. "So, what's the lesson on today Miss Over-achiever?" he half turned to her in the confines of the cabin. "Um, Cello. I teach a few elementary students on the weekends I'm free and after school. You know, as a tutor." Bella chimed in, excited to show her friend off. "She's so good. You should hear her play Jake. And she's fast, I mean, really fast when she hurdles and she does that funny running thing the air thing at long jump too. I mean she's really good at track and field." Renesme looked down to her lap, her cheeks flaming. "OK Bella, he gets the picture. No need for the cheer squad."

"That would be good to see. Do you have a cheer squad? I'd join it." He rumbled, desire dripping into his request. He turned to look at both the girls. Bella was beaming with pride at her friend accomplishments, completely unaware of the electric tension surrounding the other two. Renesme's eyes bore into his, challenging him to move closer and cautioning him not to, both at the same time.

They both turned to face the front, their eyes fixated on the road. Jacob shifted his hand, only an inch. His little finger gliding over hers. They both felt the heat from one another.

_What are you doing Black? Are you really doing this here? In front of Bella? I love Bella, but she's never gunna love me the way I want her to. Maybe I should give this a go? What can it hurt? Who are you kidding? It could hurt a lot. And not just me. Shit. My heart is racing. Maybe if I just touched her a little. Renesme. It's such an exotic name. Fuck she's so hot. Does she want me to touch her? Or is she telling me to fuck off. I can't fucking tell! Only one way to find out? God, don't mess this up Jake. I think I want to know this girl. I mean, really know her inside. What would she feel like inside? Shit! Down boy. Man, I want to know her secrets. I want her to want to tell me. I want her to let me in. Yeah you want IN! Jacob this could be the mother of you children. Be respectful. Shit did I just think that? I have to find out if she likes me. I have to try at least. Right…I'm doing it._

He coiled his pinkie around hers.

Renesme's heart raced, her breath hitched in her chest. Without a second thought she coiled her finger back around his. Feeling the roughness of his skin. _Oh God! Is he making a move right here? In font of Bella! _She turned to watch her roommate. She was happily humming along to the radio, attentive to the road. Oblivious to the finger-play going on next to her. A small smile spread across Renesme's face. _He's holding my hand! Well sort of. This beautiful man-boy is touching me. On purpose! Does he want to be my boyfriend? Maybe we could go see a movie? I'd let him touch more than my little finger! He'd be a good boyfriend too. Flowers. Kisses. Secrets now one else knows. Could I tell him? Yeah. I could. I really could. I want to tell him. I want him to know me. The real me. I want him. _

Jacob's eyes drifted to their entwined fingers. _God, her skin is so soft. I wonder how long her lesson is. I could take her to a movie after. Well, the three of us could go. I'll make sure I sit next to her. I could hold her hand. I've got to get her alone._ His eyes shifted up her long arm. Across her heaving chest. Her breathing sped up. _Look at those tits. I wonder if she'd let me touch them. I bet their soft. God I want to kiss her already. Shit calm down. _

Renesme leaned her shoulder onto him. Her head angling to his. She lifted her gaze to him. They stared in to each other's eyes. That spark still surging. Their stare, burning and intense. His gaze drifted across her features. Her green emerald eyes, her soft pink lips, the flush of her cheeks. Her glossy auburn hair bundled on top of her head. Her skin was clear and bright with a fine sprinkling of freckles across her nose. _She is so beautiful. I have to know this woman. In every way. _

Renesme saw the desire burning in his eyes. _Shit! I can't do this! Dates! Movies! With what time little birdie? How does this get you up and out? Not gunna be her REMEMBER!_ He saw how her eyes changed form burning to hesitation to distant. Her eyes glassy, tears welling as she mouthed to him '_I can't.'_ her head shaking _no_ with rejection. She moved her body away from his, an infinitesimal gap between them. It felt like miles. She uncoiled her finger from his and she placed her hands carefully in her lap.

"Is it this house or the one with the hedge?" asked Bella. Breaking them out of their private exchange.

Renesme gulped in a breath looking around, the outside world had been forgotten. She'd lost her bearings. "Um, the one with hedge." she replied. Pulling up, she turned to un-do her seatbelt. Jacob placed his hands on hers. "I'll do it." He whispered. The warmth of his hand scorched her skin as he reached between then unclipping both their belts. He opened his door. Reaching back into the cabin he took hold of her hand again and helped her out. He looked into her eyes. Searching for a glimpse of what she wanted. She wasn't sure herself. He squeezed her hand silently communicating_ I know you felt it. I know you feel it. This_._ Try. Trust me._

"How long is your lesson? Maybe we could wait and catch the movie with you?"

"Um. An hour. But, I have an assignment to get done, then training, so I can't." she lied. "It's fine, you two have some BFF time OK!" leaning back into the cabin. "Thanks for the lift Bella."

"No worries!" she called "Are you sure you don't want to see a movie with us? We can wait."

_Yes. Yes. Yes. I want to. Wait for me. I want to share a soda straw with him. I want the share everything with him… But I can't. _

Renesme knew she wanted to date, one day. After college. When she has a successful career, a good home, money to spare. Then she could find a nice man who adored her and they could live happily ever after_. Not now though Red robin. Not now. _Jacob was about three years too early_. I'm sorry._

She answered Bella, "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm too busy for movies. You know how it is." She smiled. She tried, but the smile never reached her eyes. He saw the effort.

She looked up at him. The sorrow and pleading in her eyes almost broke him. "I'm sorry Jacob." she whispered. Her sweet face warping into the pain she always held inside. _Why is this so hard? Cause you like him Red Robin. And you can't. Just go to the dam lesson. Say good bye and walk away. _

"Bye" she called to Bella.

"Bye. See you at dinner?" Bella called, leaning across the seats.

"Yeah. OK. Your turn to cook." Ren confirmed. Her green eyes flicked to Jacobs. "Bye" she whispered to him turning, almost running into the safety of the house with the hedge.

_Don't let her go Jacob. Don't let her run. Shit! What can I do? I'll just tell Bella. She'll help. What are you going to say, 'Hey Bells, so… I know you'll never love me so I want to do your room mate instead, can you help me hook up?!' Yeah that'll go down like a pile of shit. _He turned back to the truck and found his chance_._

_Fly Red Robin, fly. Be cool. Don't run. _She could feel him staring at her. She could practically see the unbelieving and shattered look on his face as she fled._ Keep going. 10 more feet. Just get to the porch, ring the bell. Teach the dam lesson, then ride home. Shit! My bike. Shit!_

She could hear the tray already opening as she turned around. Jacob was lifting her mountain bike off the tray. He started wheeling it towards her. "You forgot something" he called as he approached.

"Thanks, it would have been a long walk home without it."

"I would have just waited for you." _I'll wait for you any way._

_"_You don't need to wait for me Jacob." She warned. "Go and have fun. I can find my own way. I've been on my own for a while. I can look after myself." Her tone sharper than she had intended.

"I'm sure you can" he replied "I just thought we could hang out. I'd like to get to know you more. I think we have something here." He looked down to her, his lips parted as he delicately moistened them with the tip of his tongue. "You can feel it. Can't you?" She felt her own lips part as he hedged his face closer to his. "Let's just try, and see where it takes us."She studied his face. She saw the open, honest, raw hope he had. She knew what he was asking. She knew she wanted to say yes. She knew she would say no anyway. He saw the shift in her eyes, the hard resolve setting in the beautiful jade orbs. He knew her answer before she spoke. He stood up straight, shoulders firm, refusing to let her see how her rejection affected him.

She looked down at her shoes, breaking the intense eye contact. "I can't Jacob." She breathed in deeply then let out a tired sigh. "I just can't. I can't split myself in to any more pieces."

He glared at her, still feeling the sting of her rejection. _You think you've got life all figured out? Life is about who is in it with you not what! I don't get it. Why the hell would she fight having friends or relationships. This girl isn't worth the torment. Yes she is, who are you trying to kid Black? _

_Well, you're not tormenting yourself any more, not today anyway. _

"I get it." He pushed the handles of the bike towards her. "Here." She placed her hands onto his across the bars. They were warm and dry. His touch made her chest ache. she reached and arm out to him. "Jake, when I do things, I always give it my everything. If I can't do it 100%... I don't do it." She looked up into his eyes, a stray piece of hair falling across his face, she absently tucked it back behind his ear. "No matter how much I want to."

Snatching his hand out from under hers, he barked. "Whatever Renesme. Good luck with whatever life you've got planed for yourself. I hope it's worth it." He turned and stamped back to the truck, leaving her standing alone on the path.

_Why does this hurt so much? I barely even know the guy. Not even 24 hours and already my focus is all messed up. _

_Enough already Ness. Enough. Daydream is over. Back to reality. Back to work. _

She turned heading into the house to give the lesson. It felt like a vain attempt to impart her knowledge. Her knowledge, to an over privileged child who had no passion for an instrument that she had learned to love. Love, from an old woman who had loved her when life was at its worst. _Stop feeling sorry for you self Rouge-gorge. _


	6. Chapter 6 Hearing the silence

Renesme never made it to Dinner that night. She trained well into the evening. Pushing herself to the point of retching. She wasn't sure if it was from the physical exertion or from the emptiness her heart had felt all day. Probably both. She snuck into the dorm after the lights were out. There was a flower sitting on her pillow. He was sleeping in Bella's bed. Bella was on the couch. After a long hot shower she silently crawled in to her bed and cried herself to sleep.

Jacob heard all of it.

The next morning Renesme woke early. She dressed and crept out, taking her instrument with her. She sat on the steps of the building across form the dorms and quietly played. She played with her eyes shut just like her grand-mere had. She played until her fingers hurt as silent tears, once again, streamed down her cheeks. She cried for the childhood she'd hope for, her mother, her father, her grand-mere, for Jacob. She cried for herself.

Jacob softly followed her out and stood in the window of the main building.

He saw her tears.

Jacob heard all of it.

After a quiet breakfast with Bella, Jacob said his farewells to Bella and he drove away without saying good bye. Renesme knew he would be leaving that morning and stayed away until he had left. She didn't want to test her strength or give herself the opportunity to explore her weaknesses.

As Jacob drove away he couldn't decide if he was angry, relieved or heart broken. He was decide though. Decided that he'd had enough of waiting for Bella. Decided that he wouldn't let himself wait for Renesme either_. Maybe she had a point when she said 'Life won't hand it to you.' She'd refused to let her life pass her by. Two can play at that game._ As he drove away from the city of Seattle. He made sure he left his obsession with Bella behind. And pushed Renesme out of his mind. Well, he tried to.

When Renesme finally did shuffle her way back to their room Bella pounced. "Where the hell have you been? You bailed on dinner?" The look of hurt in her eyes took Renesme aback. She hadn't meant to hurt Bella. She just could be around Jacob. "Sorry Bells, I was training till really late."

"And you were gone again this morning! Jacob left, he said to say Goodbye by the way."

"I was just giving you guys some privacy, that's all." She lied.

"You were more than welcome to hang with us. I hope you didn't feel you couldn't be in your own room. I guess it doesn't matter now any way. La Push is a long way from here. He doesn't have much money for gas. I don't think Jake will be able to visit again for a while."

_ No, I don't think he will._

The semester went on for Renesme and Bella. Renesme dived head first into her studies. She trained more than ever. If she wasn't at the library she was either at the gym, the track or running around the campus. She quit the orchestra. She hardly played anymore. She had always played to escape reality, to remember all the things she loved, express her innermost secrets and desires. Now whenever she played, memories of the night she had played for Jacob flooded back. She had showed him a piece of herself that she had never showed anyone before. She had let him into her private ritual. The hall, the music, the instrument they all made her think of him. She was trying so hard not to think of him. She was failing. Miserably.


	7. Chapter 7 Aponi

The week before Thanksgiving break Bella found out that Renesme was planning on spending the holiday alone on campus. There was no way she was going to let that happen. So, after much discussion (mostly from Bella), the pair set off in Bella's truck towards Forks for the short break.

The plan was to have Thanksgiving lunch at Bella's father's home and then head over to Edward's parents' house for dinner. Renesme felt like she would be the third wheel but Bella insisted.

Arriving late in the evening Bella set Renesme up in the long sofa in the lounge room. She spent the rest of the evening chatting to Bella's father while he watched highlights of the football, while Bella nattered to Edward on the phone.

Just before retiring to bed, Charlie explained that he had invited Billy and Jacob to share lunch the next day too. Panic shot through Renesme and she nearly shot up off the couch and hurdled out the door straight to Seattle. But she didn't. She sat on the sofa and smiled, the tension in her lips spelling her mixed emotions. Bella saw her shaken response and wondered what had gone on between her two friends. Had they have an argument? They seemed to have hit it off, then they gave each other the cold shoulder for the rest of his stay? Bell thought about it some more, Ren had been a ghost ever since and Jacob, he had turned into some kind of party crazed horny teenager overnight. _We are having a chat about this in the morning._

The next morning Renesme heard Bella sneak down the stairs to start preparing the turkey, dawn was just breaking. Renesme rolled over on the surprisingly comfortable couch and drifted back to sleep. Through the veil of light sleep she could her Charley and Bella talking in hushed tones in the kitchen. The small clinks of cooking as breakfast was being prepared. She woke again sometime later to the sounds of the front door opening and closing and heavy footsteps on the floor.

"Morning Bells. Make enough for me too?" Sang out a familiar baritone voice.

She was wide awake now. _Shit. What's he doing here now? I'm not ready for this. I'm not even dressed. Maybe I can just hide under the covers until he leaves._

"Come on, she won't bite" he whispered.

"I know. I'm coming" replied a sweet dulcet voice. "Um Jake, I think we're a bit early."

"What do you mean?"

Renesme lay flat on her back peering up out of the covers that were pulled up under her chin. She saw a well-manicured finger pointing down at her as two faces leaned over the back of the sofa, looking down to her. Renesme saw his brows drawn together looking down at her, surprise saturating his tone. "What are you doing here?"

"Bella invited me" she snapped indignantly, sitting up.

He looked at her, drinking her in, he seemed to gravitate unconsciously to her, then suddenly stiffened, remembering her words that day weeks ago. "I'm surprised you could find the time. How does this fit into you five year plan?" He replied sarcastically.

Deciding a run would be a good escape she sighed as she raised off the couch grabbing her sports bra, tights and a shirt. She really didn't want to fight with him. She was here in Forks for Bella's sake and she hoped he could be mature about whatever it was that was going on with them. "Good to see you too Jacob." Her head was held high as she glided past the couple. The girl thrust out her hand to Renesme. "Hi I'm Aponi." She smiled as she looked Ren up and down. _He has a girlfriend._ _ Well, good-on-you, Jacob. _She sighed inwardly_. How on Earth can she look so good this time of the morning?_

Renesme appraised the girl standing next to Jacob. She was tiny. Maybe five foot two, three? Petite. She wore her long jet black hair parted in the middle her long layers sitting atop her very pushed up breasts. Her curves were squeezed into a tight, plunging v neck fuchsia top. Her jeans so tight that Renesme wondered how she could bend enough to sit down in them. Her feet were elevated by matching fuchsia platform pumps. As the two girls assessed each other Renesme noticed the raised eyebrows of the Indian girl. An unkind smirk forming on her face. Renesme looked down at herself realising she was still in the clothes she had slept in. She realised, too late, that she was only in her boy leg underpants and a thin white tank top. _Crap!_ She shifted to hold her clothes in front of her chest. She didn't take the outstretched hand to shake. She just blurted out "I'm Renesme." And took off, bounding up the stairs two at a time "Nice to meet you" she shouted half way up the stairs.

The girl sniggered looking up to Jacob as she wrapped her arms around him. "I don't think she realised what she had on. Poor thing." His eyes followed Renesme up the stairs, a constricting knot forming in his chest. "I grantee you she didn't." He replied tight lipped, automatically draping his arm around his girlfriends shoulder. _She's more beautiful that I remembered_. _That hair, all messy from bed. That shirt was awesome. I'd love to wrap my lips around those breasts. And those legs, they are _so_ toned. Stop it Jake. Api is great, so many curves to explore, she's so soft, comes from a great Quileute family, she kisses incredibly... I wonder what it would be like to kiss Renesme… Fuck! Could this get any more difficult? _Snapping out of his inner thoughts_, _he motioned, prodding Aponi into the kitchen. "Come on."

Bella was standing at the refrigerator a carton of eggs in her hand. Charlie was sitting at the small table reading the paper, his hand leisurely wrapped around a cup of steaming coffee. The light was filtering softly in through the window, the smell of her delicious cooking in the air. Jake always felt at home in this kitchen. Ever since Bella had come to live with her dad in high school she had enhanced the house into a warm, nurturing kind of home.

"Bella, Charlie, this my girlfriend Aponi." He motioned to her and back towards the members his second family. "Api this is Bella and you've probably seen Chief Swan around."

"Hey." Said Bella. "I've heard so much about you. It's great to finally put a face to the name." Jake noticed an offbeat look in his friend's eye. Charlie took a sip of his coffee appraising the girl over the rim, "Nice to meet you Aponi. Keeping Jake here out of trouble?" She giggled in response, "I think _he's_ the calming influence on me Chief Swan."

"Are you staying for lunch? You're most welcome to." Inquired Bella's father.

"No. I can't, my parents are having a big family thing for lunch. You know how it is."

"Well, share a meal with us anyway. Breakfast won't be long." Added Bella.

"That would be lovely, Thanks" she smiled, her eyes bright like a girl in the first flushes of new love or maybe it was lust.

Aponi had had a not so subtle crush on Jake since she was a freshman, him a sophomore in high school. It wasn't until a chance meeting at his friend, Jared's house that he took an interest. The timing had coincided perfectly with his return from Seattle. Him, needing to prove to himself that he didn't need either of the two girls he'd left behind in Seattle, she, happy to have one of the town's most eligible bachelors around her arm. Aponi pulled out a chair to sit when Jacob stoped her. "I don't know. Don't you have to help your mum?" _God get me out of here. I can't have these three women around the same table._

"Jake, don't be silly! It's not even nine am. Let's stay and eat. You're the one who dragged me over here. Besides," she wiggled her eyebrows at Jake. "I want to get to know Bella better. We'll stay for a little. Mum said I need to be home by eleven." She looked up at him and winked provocatively. Her eyes hooded as she smouldered at him. "We've got loads of time." Proposition drenching her words. Jake liked the sound of that time-line. His hormones taking over, he decided that they would stay for an hour, which would give the couple another hour by themself. _ Maybe we'll 'give thanks' to each other in the back of the rabbit. Man, she is lovely. Her lips are so soft. Who cares that Renesme is here? Her loss. _He was getting good at lying to himself.

He lent over her as she sat at the table. "Ok. If that's what you want." He lifted her chin with his fingers and gave her a deep, open mouth kiss right there at the Swans' kitchen table. "As if I could say no to Bella's cooking anyway."

Renesme creped quietly down the stairs into the kitchen just as Jake's lips met Aponi's. She felt the lump in her throat as her eyes blazed with jealously. Bella turned to serve the food and saw Renesme propping herself up against the wall. Her body doubled over as if she had been punched in the gut. She saw her friends eyes transfixed to the happy couple as they linked fingers, foreheads pressed together as they shared a private joke. _Yeah we really need to talk. _"You going for a run? I'll put some eggs aside for you ok." Asked Bella, giving Ren the excuse she needed for her desperate escape. Renesme straightened herself up, a mask of indifference plastered to her face. "I might do about six or seven miles. I'll be back in about an hour to give you a hand." She made her way to a chair to put on her runners. One she was laced up, she rose from the table. "It was nice to meet you Aponi. I'm glad Jacob has someone. You guys look good together."

"Bye Jake." she called as she left the room.


	8. Chapter 8 Cross Roads

This chapter has a fair bit of Jake and Aponi. Don't hate on him too much. He is a guy with hormones...but a good guy in the end. I think. we'll see.

Thanks for all the reviews too. I have been pleasantly surprised by the amount of views this story has got so far. I hope you continue to enjoy this story :-) Marina

All characters are owns by SM. I'm just mixing it up a bit.

* * *

Renesme set off at a blistering pace. She knew she could never run this fast for that many miles. She just had to get as far away, as fast as she could. After about a mile her lungs burning from the cool November air, she slowed. She stopped on the side of the road. _What have I done? Why can't I get him out of my mind? I'm going insane!_ She felt she was more distracted trying NOT to think about him than she would have been if she'd let him to her heart weeks ago._ Rouge-gorge, you really stuffed this up. You can do this. _She was planning on just spending a nice few days with Bella, exploring the area. She wanted to give herself a little break_. Sure, we'll have a break, right after this run. _She set off once again, this time pacing herself. Aiming to run for most of the hour. She hoped Jacob would be gone before she got back. As she jogged along Bella's street feeling the endorphin rush she loved after exercising, she saw heading towards her, a little red car. Jacob's car. Renesme continued to jog. _Head up. Shoulders back. Smile. Quick wave. No stopping._

Jacob had wolfed down the breakfast. Desperate to be gone before Renesme returned. Eventually, he ushered Aponi out the door. Promising to be back with Billy for lunch at noon.

As they hurtled down the street Jacob allowed himself to feel the relief of avoiding Renesme rush over him. It didn't last for long. He saw a lone figure jogging along the asphalt. He slowed the car minutely and made a simple one handed wave from the wheel as they approached. Aponi however waved both hands, yelling out the window "Bye Renesme! Nice meeting you!" Renesme slowed to a walk as she more reservedly waved back, her face contorted in to a lopsided grin. The other hand resting on her hip as she caught her breath. She watched as the car drove past. "She's actually quite pretty." Commented Aponi surprised. "Did you see how long her legs are? She's a bit tall though. Too much muscle. To butch. Maybe she's a lesbian." she commented bitterly. Jacob answered with a distracted grunt, "She's almost a professional athlete Api, she kind of needs muscles to hurdle. I don't think she's gay either. She's fit. That's all." Felling the need defend the girl. Jake leaned his head back on the headrest, thoughtful, these were the kinds of conversations that made him regret ever hooking up with Aponi. She was so materialistic, all she saw in people was skin deep. No depth. Renesme or not, he was beginning to want to distance himself from Aponi. She didn't seem to get that beauty was more than the body and the makeup and some guys wanted more from girlfriends than just _putting out_. He watched Renesme in the rear-view mirror. He liked the way her shoulders rolled over her frame. He thought it gave her an air of strength and integrity. He could see the curve of her body even through her winter clothes. Jake though she had an amazing body. One he increasingly thought about. He thought she was beautiful. Beautiful, but off limits.

He continued to watch her in the mirror as she turned towards the direction of his car. He watched as she covered both her hands over her face as she doubled over on the side of the road. Her knees giving way as she crumpled to the ground. He saw her shoulders shaking as if she were sobbing_. Shit, is she crying?_ _Should I go back? What would I say? I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now. Why the hell is she crying like that? _He was broken out his inner monologue by a hand brushing along his jeans, over his crutch. "We've got almost an hour before my mum expects me home." she whispered seductively in to his ear. He felt his arousal in spite of himself. "Api, I'm not sure that's the best idea right now." He countered. Suddenly nervous as hell.

"Find some where to pull over Jacob or I'll just to do this while you're driving." She instructed as she leant over undoing his fly, reaching into his jeans. Absently, he jerked his foot on the accelerator. She started to work her hands up and down. He franticly searched for somewhere private to pull up, finally finding an old logging path, he turned in, out of view of passing traffic and killed the engine. She clicked off her seat belt and turned to kneel sideways on the seat, one hand braced on his thigh the other wrapped around him as she bend her head down to him. _Amazing, this is amazing. I'm about to get a blow job in the front seat of my car. _His eyes flew open as he realised how his body was betraying his heart. _What am I fucking doing? _ He wanted to stop her. It didn't feel right. It _felt_ incredible, but it didn't _feel_ right. Not in his head or his heart. "Stop Aponi." He quietly requested, lifting her head up and tucking himself back into his pants. They had never been this intimate before. They'd touched through clothes. She'd taken her bra off but left her top on once. But this, this was virgin territory. Literally. For him anyway - He wasn't so sure about her. He doubted it.

"Sorry" he said, looking over the familiar dash of his car, refusing to make eye contact.

"Don't be." She comforted. "I know this is all new for you Jakie. We can go slower. Maybe we could rent one of the cabins one night, Jared's mum could probably give us a good rate."

"I'm not you sure I'm ready for that." Jacob paused, looking contritely at her. "In fact, I'm not sure this is going to work Api."

Disregarding his words, she walked her fingers down his chest, across his abs, poking his crouch. "Jakey, you were the hottest guy at school, probably on the whole res. As if I'm not going to put out for you. I know what guys like and I'm not afraid to give it to them. We'll make it work out." She purred as he scrambled to fix himself properly, feeling very exposed and somewhat like a piece of meat.

"I don't expect _that_ you know? I'm sure it's very nice, don't get me wrong, but... I never expected this either." Gesturing towards his groin.

"You're still a virgin right." She asked. He felt he heard a mocking tone to her voice. "You're point?" he said, refusing to answer her outright. "Well we can fool around some more next time. I can teach you. Get you ready." She shrugged not self-conscious by the turn in the conversation at all. "I wouldn't say I'm that experienced. But I've had a few good lessons myself, if you know what I mean."

Jake gave her an sickened look. "You make it sound like a business contract Aponi."

"Let's call it more of a Sextract!" she smiled, laughing at her own _less that delicate _invented word. "You give me some of that big fella- and it's pretty big by the way; you should be proud - And I'll give you some of this." She gestured, indicated between her thighs. "With the instructions on the box. Pun intended." He had never heard her talk like that before. It made him a little sick. Did she really have such little self-respect? It's not like he was a prude or saving himself or anything. He just thought his first time would be with someone he loved or could fall in love with. _Someone like Renesme. _ Aponi seemed to view sex as something only physical, a form of currency. No real emotion or love.

He knew he could never really love Aponi. She had been a distraction though. Beautiful. Happy. Apparently very willing. His dad was happy he was with a Quileute girl. But Jake knew this was only a surface deep relationship, nothing more profound. Nothing really long term. He looked into her brown eyes, speckled with gold, her lids heavy with makeup. Jacob thought it looked nice but that it was a little too much 'sparkle' for Thanksgiving lunch. Aponi stared back at him, eyes smouldering and her tongue flicking along her lips. She leaned forward to Jake, letting the top of her shirt fall forward, showing him the soft undulating flesh lifted up by a very lacy bra. He couldn't help but shift his eyes down to her chest. She knew exactly what she was doing. She launched herself at him. Her arms around his neck as she crashed her lips on to his. Jake kissed her back, though with much less ferocity. She lay both hands on his face as she drew him in for a deeper kiss. Her tongued flicked against his lips requesting entrance. Her hands unbuttoned his shirt as her hands ran along his chest, rippling down over his abs. His hands habitually slid down over her shoulders and around her ribs, his thumbs brushing against her breasts. _I wonder what Renesme boobs feel like? What would her lips feel like? Against my lips. Around my dick. Jake don't be an asshole. You can't think about another girl while you kiss your girlfriend. But you are…_

He sighed, gently pushing her away from him. Both panting to catch their breath. "We'd better go." he said as he did up his shirt buttons, staring out the windshield. She shifted back to her seat, doing up her belt as he started to drive towards her house. He considered what she had said. Confusion, lust and desire clouding his judgement. _Sextract_. _How unromantic. Maybe it would be good to get the 'Big V' out of the road? Or maybe you'll be nothing but a piece of arm candy. And you'd also be a giant Asshole! _He felt so conflicted_. _Deep down, he knew he couldn't just use her for sex. That wasn't what he wanted. That wasn't him. The more he thought about it, the less attractive Aponi and her proposal seemed. The more he wanted to end the relationship.

The radio played softy in the background, he hummed along to the ballad, lost in thought. He was snapped out of his musings but a sudden noise as she reached to change the radio station, flicking to a loud techno station. "Much better" she stated, her head bopping to the heavy base. She turned the volume up further, oblivious to the irritation rising in Jake. "You know it's common knowledge that the driver gets to choose the music." He bristled. "We'll after what I just did for you, the least you could do is let me pick the tunes." She smiled -too sweetly- at him, eye lashes bating, knowing he'd let her keep the music on. _I doubt Renesme listens to this kind of music for pleasure. _He sighed for the third time that day. He felt a heaviness in his chest, the weight of being with a girl he didn't realy like, let alone love was pressing down on him. He didn't want to do this anymore. He was sick of trying to convince himself that he felt any kind of pull towards her. "Aponi I don't want to do this." Not understanding him she squeezed his hand, bringing it to rest on her thigh. "Don't worry Jakie, we'll do it together." He really hated being called Jakie. At least, he hated the way it sounded from _her_ mouth. "No Aponi, I mean us. This, us, we aren't working." She rolled her eyes at him, her thin manicured eyebrow arching at him. "Don't be so dense. Of course we _work_. Look at us! We're like the poster couple of Quileute First Nation."

"I don't want be a 'breeding pair' Api. There's so much more to a relationship than genetic compatibility." He snapped, exasperated by her xenophobic view. He was silent in thought as he drove, ignoring the incessant beat and shrill synth of her chosen music. Soon, they entered into La Push and Jake turned into her street, pulling into her parent's driveway. Before she got out, Aponi squeezed Jakes cheek between her thumb and fingers, shaking him like he was a toddler. "Don't worry your pretty little face Jake. We'll talk about it tomorrow ok." She inclined her head to the house. "I got to go. Think about my offer." She kissed his bunched up lips murmuring "sextract" into his mouth as she jumped out of the car running into the house.

He sat looking at the house for several minutes. A feeling of downheartedness swept through him as he thought about the two choices before him. One present and willing. Petite and curvy. Familiar. An open book. But aggravating and shallow.

The other, an enigma, with hidden secrets. Tall and statuesque. Miles of distance between them. Closed off to him. The one he wanted.

There really wasn't any choice though. _Renesme was pretty clear about it._ _The way she ran out of Bella's place this morning. Was she crying about me? Should I talk to her about it? Maybe I'll talk to Bella about it._

In the end, Jake decided he'd rather be alone than compromise his morals. He wouldn't use Aponi or allow himself to be used by her in return. He resolved to terminate things, soon. He just had to work up the mettle first.


	9. Chapter 9 Giving thanks and confessions

Well boys and girls, this chapter should help explain Renesme and all her 'issues'.

Hope you enjoy.

Thanks for all the great reviews too. They make my day!

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Renesme stood up from her huddled position on the road. She felt defeated. She felt hollow inside. She had cried until her tears had given out. All her bottled-up emotions flooding out. She couldn't stop thinking about Jacob. His dark black eyes. His brilliant smile, lined with straight white teeth. His open, uninhibited laugh. The way his bass voice said her name. She liked him, really _liked_ him. He had asked her to try. See where things could lead. She had responded by rejecting him with such finality she wasn't sure there could be any hope for her. She realized now with a suddenness what she wanted. She wanted to try and see where things could go with Jake. She had felt the connection all those weeks ago in Seattle. She had still felt it today. Seeing him with Aponi had hurt her, hurt her more than she had any right to be hurt.

She whipped her head up, looking at nothing in particular. A felling of hopelessness washed over her as she stood in the middle of the rural bitumen road leading to Bella's home. The sky grey with threating clouds. The wind whipping against her skin, lowering her body temperature as it evaporated off her sweaty brow.

Renesme was at a loss she had no experience with men, none. Even in high school her training, her music and her studies left her little time or inclination. Sure she'd had crushes and her fair share of admirers, but never had she let anyone actually get close. Never had she let down her shield. It was with an empty feeling that now, finally, she felt she was ready to open herself up to someone, allow someone to share the special connection she'd witnessed in those around her. Finally, as she admitted to herself this thing, she found the person she wanted unavailable, unreachable, off limits. The realisation crushed her.

Her logical mind couldn't understand these emotions. She hardly knew him. Her instinctive mind, the part of her id that she kept locked away, it was a flutter with desire and longing for freedom. Like a prisoner behind a wall, her heart had found a small chink in the armour and had hammered away until her defences had collapsed. Only now, she found the view on the other side was barren and bleak. She scrambled to rebuild those defences, not wanting to allow herself to be hurt. She wanted to fortify them against the dark knight that was attempting the siege her heart. But her heart had seen the speck of light on the bleak horizon and it fought her barricades.

She was scared. Plain and simple _scared._ So many times she had be thrown out like a piece of garbage, left in the corner. She had built those fences up so high, rarely giving anyone a key to her inner vault that kept her heart safe inside. Her parents had left her heart a shattered mess as small child. Her Grand-mere Sophie had built her back up from the ground. It wasn't Sophie's fault, but when she had died, Renesme had resented her, resented her for leaving her alone in this big hurtful world before her heart was fully mended. She never wanted to allow anyone to come close enough to injure her heart again. There was only so much heartbreak a person could bare. She realised with a sense of surprising relief how Jake had just, shined his way in. Her fortifications flimsy and weak against his confidence in her. His confidence in the possibility of _them_.

Somehow, without her even realising it, he had taken up a permanent residence in her heart. She had been forcing herself to push him out. Ignoring the ache, the soul crushing exhaustion that had overcome her the past few weeks as she desperately attempted to forget about him. But Jacobs heart had left a lasting mark on hers. A healing balm on her ethereal scars. A sweet medicine that both numbed and healed the pain. Once it had had a taste, there was no forgetting.

She decided to talk to him. Let him know her. See if this connection between them was real or just her imagination. But she refused to be some kind of chaste adolescent mistress. She wouldn't try to steal him away. Renesme conceded pitifully that she wanted him in her life any way she could. She wanted to be his friend at the very least- Something was better than nothing. He said he'd wait for her, now it was her turn to wait for him. She wiped her eyes that she knew would be red and walked the last few hundred feet back to the Swans house. Hope and fear burning through her chest.

Charlie was sitting on his recliner watching the pre-game show as she entered through the front door. "Hey kiddo. Is it cold out there?"

"It's not too bad. I don't notice it once I've warmed up anyway" She replied as she passed into the kitchen.

As soon as she walked there, Bella was upon her. "Right. What's going on with you two? And don't tell me it's nothing. I saw the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you." She reasoned. "Did you two hook up in Seattle? Did you have a fight?" Renesme whipped the sweat off her brow, her eyes closed in exhaustion. "Can I take a shower first? Then I promise we'll talk. I need to come clean to someone."

"Alright" she agreed. "When you're back down I need you to start on the beans too."

"Ok. I won't be long." She smiled as she raced up the stairs. The bathroom was simple and neat. She hopped into the shower and soaped up, enjoying the heat as it washed the sweat and tears away. She lathered up her hair and felt the relief cascade over her scalp as the suds carried away some of the worries of her day. She shaved her legs and scrubbed her face. She dressed in a simple flowing floral skirt just above the knee and a plain white scooped neck cotton shirt. Her shoes an elegant pair of black ballet flats with gloss patent tips. She left her hair out to dry naturally letting her full curls fall down her back.

Feeling refreshed and ready for the inquisition, she made her way down stairs to help in the kitchen.

"Spill it" Bella said as she handed her the packet of fresh beans waiting to be tipped and tailed. "What do you want me to say? I'm an Idiot and it's too late."

"You are definitely not an idiot and it's never too late. What happened?"

"Well, you already know that I showed him around campus and stuff. I had a really good time actually." She paused in thought. "I played for him. I don't know why, but I played him a piece I wrote myself. I've never played to anyone but my Grand-Mère Sophie."

"Did he like it?"

"Yeah" she giggled. "You should have seen him. I think I dazzled him or something. I think his exact words were, 'that was the single most amazing thing I have ever seen.' I was pretty flattered actually. I don't think he's heard much live music though."

"No, I don't' think he has. Doesn't mean he can't appreciate it though."

"Yeah. I think he's way more open to new things and culture than most guys. We went to the pizza place and shared a large. I told him about grand-mère Sophie." She confessed as she continued to prepare the beans.

"Did you tell him about your parents? About Rose and Em?"

"No. I think he knew there was more but he didn't push. I'd only just met him. You know how private I am about my childhood. The weird thing Bella, is that I wanted to tell him. It felt like I'd know him for years not hours. He made me feel like I could trust him with all my secrets. Like, instead of adding another portion of my life to juggle, he could put it all into balance for me. I can't explain it."

"You don't need to. I get it. Edward does that for me. It's like he knew my soul the moment we met. "

She continued, needing to get it all out. "Of course then we had the whole bed darkle. He was way too big for that tiny sofa so I offered him my bed. We started off head to tail. I don't know how I ended up wrapped in his arms."

"I bet it felt good though. Right?"

"Really good" she breathed as the needless waste of her actions crashed around her. "Did you realise we were almost holding hands when you dropped me to that lesson?"

"No!" She squealed. "When!"

"Right there in the truck. Do you remember how I almost forgot my bike and he wheeled it over to me? "

"No"

"I think you were texting Edward or something. Anyway, he kind of asked me out in a weird sort of way."

"He asked you out! Holly shit Ren. What did you say?"

"I said I couldn't. That I didn't have time for boyfriends." Her face was drawn, regretful and despairing. Bella looked at her like she had two heads. "I made a huge fucking mistake Bells." The heartbreak seeping from her voice. "Is it possible to fall in love with someone over night? 'Cause I think I did. And now it's too late, he's got a gorgeous little Quileute girl. How can I compete with that? I'm such as colossal mess. I'm too scared to let anyone in, even when there's such a perfectly amazing pure hearted man staring me in the face." she ended, wiping away the tears that were threatening to spill. Her resolve to tell Jake how she truly felt evaporating. Bella regarded her friend with a look of disbelief. "You really don't see yourself as you should. You're actually a pretty good catch Renesme. You're intelligent, beautiful, athletic, and creative. So what, you've had an unorthodox childhood. We all have our baggage. Some people's bags are just bigger than others. The heavier the bag the stronger the person." Bella placed a caring hand on hers. "I'd say you're the strongest person I know Ren."

"Here, start the potatoes" she added cutting the sorrow surrounding them, she shoved a peeler into her hand. "If he doesn't already know it, he'll figure it out soon." Renesme started to peel the vegetables. "Do you want me to talk to him for you? Suss things out?"

"No. Thanks, but we're grown adults. Not third graders. What would you say to him anyway? 'Hey Jacob, so… Renesme realised she's in love with you. Silly girl. She wants to know, can you break up with your girlfriend please?'" she mocked in a sharp, sickly sweet voice. Self-disgust washing over her. "I don't think so. I'm not going to be a home wrecker or whatever the term is when you're our age. So the point is moot."

"So, do you just want to sit and wait and hope they break up?"

"Yes" Renesme stilled her hands and she turned to Bella. "I am a terrible person, aren't I? Do I want him to be happy? Or only if he's happy with me?"

"Of course you don't."

"I guess, ultimately I really do just want him to be happy. I'll just be waiting... Waiting patiently." She settled with a decided nod of her head as if attempting to convince herself.

The two women continued to chat as they prepared the Thanksgiving feast. Mindful that for their First Nations friends, the day was not a day of celebration but more of a day of mourning. Bella new the Blacks and many of the other families of La Push took advantage of the holiday though, by eating together with family and friends, just as they were planning to do today.

Right at midday there was a knock at the front door as Jacob and Billy let themselves in. Bella turned to Renesme holding her with both hands on her shoulders, she looked directly in to her eyes and gave her a little reassuring shake. "Are you sure you don't want me to talk to him?" Renesme nodded minutely. "Waiting patiently" she whispered, a slight tremble in her voice.

Renesme could hear the happy greetings of old friends as Billy settled in to catch the TV with Charlie. It wasn't long before Jacob came in to the kitchen. Renesme could feel her heart pumping in her chest. Her stomach a ball of knots. He entered caring a paper plate covered with foil. "Mrs. Clearwater made some cornbread for us." He explained, lifting the plate onto the table. "You're nothing, if not punctual." Teased Bella as she handed him a bag of marshmallows to top onto the yams. "I aim to please" he countered. "Everything smells great Bella, how long till lunch?"

"Not long, about fifteen minutes." He looked at the bag of mellows in his hands with inquiry.

Renesme saw his look and offered to help. _I can still be normal. I can't just ignore him._ "Here." she said, quietly taking the bag from his hands. "They're for the yams. It's better if you lay them neatly."

The two stood side by side at the table as they placed the white cylinders row upon row. Their fingers occasionally brushing as they would reach into the bag at the same time. The electric shock between them as powerful as the last time they had touched. She could feel his warmth radiating off him as they stood alongside each other, arms close, but never touching. _Man he smells amazing. What I wouldn't give to kiss my lips along those shoulders. Stop it ness, he's taken. How the hell am I going to get through this lunch?_

Not that anyone could tell by looking but Jacob was overcome as he walked in to the kitchen. Bella looked pretty, as always in her jeans and shirt. Today, she had on a dressier top, no doubt from Edward's sister Alice. He could sense the love he felt for Bella morphing and cooling into the brotherly love she had for him. His longing for her dissolving.

Jakes eyes moved over to Renesme who was standing at the counter with her back to him. Her long red-brown hair was falling in ringlets all the way down her back. He felt the butterflies in his stomach as he struggled to swallow. His mouth dry. She turned to face him, not making eye contact. Her top scooped at the front showed only a hint of the mounds beneath. He noticed the way her collar bones rolled over to her strong shoulders. Once again thinking how much he liked the way they weaved over her frame, embodying her strength. Before he could say 'hi' and move closer to greet her, Bella had shoved a bag of marshmallows in to his hand. _What the hell am I supposed to do with these?_ Renesme came to stand next to him and quietly instructed him. _Oh my god. She smells incredible. I don't even think its perfume. Is it her hair? I think it's just her. How the hell am I going to get through this lunch? _

Jake got through the lunch. So did Renesme. They all sat around the table leaning back on their chairs. Tummies full, a drowsy feeling encroaching. The table humming with idle chatter.

"So Renesme. What brings you to the lovely town of Forks this Thanksgiving? Your folks too far away?" Billy asked innocently. Bella shot Renesme a glance, attempting to see if she needed the conversation steered else ware. Ren smiled back at her._ It doesn't need to be secret Rouge-gorge. He did say he wanted to get to know me better. What better way than spilling all the skeletons in the closet. _"Ah. I don't have any parents Mr Black. They died when I was little."

"Oh Renesme I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. And call me Billy, Please"

"You didn't Billy. I don't mind. Today is a day to be thankful. And I am thankful to them, for all the life lessons they taught me." She looked directly at Jacob for the first time all lunch. "I don't want my childhood to be a secret. I had no say in it and my life is in a totally different direction now." She sat straight in her chair, it squeaked slightly as she watched Jacob, willing him to understand her reasons for refusing him all those weeks ago. "My mother died from a heroin overdose when I was nine and my father was in jail at the time. He died still in prison, when I was fourteen." Her eyes left Jakes and she looked down at the bones of the bird that were discarded on her plate. "Around the time my mum died, I went to live with my great grandmother. That's when my new life started. She taught me music. Language. Culture. She educated me and she inspired me to have ambition." Her head lifted, her eyes shining as she remembered the old woman she treasured. "She taught me that I could ask more from life than living on the streets and surviving day to day. I'm so thankful to her. For all that she gave me. But more importantly I'm thankful for everything she taught me. I really miss her a lot." She swallowed hard. "She had a stroke while I was in my junior year at school and had to be placed in a home. She died in March this year." She looked down to her hands that she was wringing, she relaxed them onto her lap and lifted her chest, raising her eyes back up to her audience. "Thankfully though, I got fostered by the young couple that lived next door to grand-mère Sophie. Before Gran-mere got sick, Rosalie would always come over and help her with chores and groceries. The McCarty's were always so good to us. They didn't hesitate to take me under their wing after her stroke. I was really lucky I could stay in the area I considered my home to finish school. They're down in Tennessee this week with Em's family. So, here I am. Until tomorrow any way. They're coming to pick me up in the afternoon on their way home." She ended, looking at everyone around the table. All eyes were fixed on her. _Shit, this I why I don't tell people. It freaks them out._ Billy spoke first breaking the silence. "Well, you've certainly lived a lifetime of heartache for one so young." He lifted his beer to salute. "Here's to a life time thankfulness, happiness and love, Eh?"

"Life can only get better hey little Robin?" said Bella as they all cheered the Thanksgiving Day. Jacob stared at Renesme. Gob smacked at all she had revealed. _That's why she's so focused. Literally clawing her way out of the gutters. Is that why she was crying this morning? It must be why. _He was earnestly trying to convince himself of it_. _Deep down though, he was holding on to the scrap of hope that it wasn't.


	10. Chapter 10 Try

Thanks AmazonBlack you saved my bacon! here is the new chapter- the correct one!

***The song Ness is singing to herself. _I won't give up_. By Jason Mraz ***

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Just as the girls were standing to help clear the dishes, the doorbell rang. "Speaking of flying. That will be Edward." Said Bella, as she stood and ran to the door. Bella re-entered the kitchen pulling Edward by the hand. He looked like an image from a fashion magazine with his chiselled jaw and tussled hair. He wore a button down collared shirt that hung at his shoulders as if it had been tailor made for him. Bella looked up at him with unyielding adoration as his gaze burned into hers with equal fervour. Their love was so overwhelming it was as if it radiated out from them, lifting those privileged to witness it. It was apparent to Renesme how in love they both were.

"Happy Thanksgiving Chief Swan. Hi everyone." said Edward. His arm winding around Bella's waist.

"Hi Edward." answered Charlie, "Say hi to your folks for me too, will you? And tell that sister of yours she's welcome for a visit anytime." Nodding at Charlie, he replied. "Will do." Edward turned back to Bella, "You ready? I've got a surprise for you at home."

"I was born ready" she said as she pulled Renesme up with her. "So, we might leave you men with the washing up. See you later dad." she chirped as she leaned in to kiss his forehead. Renesme called as she was pulled from the room "Bye Billy, bye Jacob, thanks for letting me stay here Charlie." Then the girls were out the door. Jacob just sat at the table. He hadn't realised she'd be leaving so soon. He'd figured he'd have all afternoon to steel a moment alone with her. Charlie stood to start on the dishes. "I think we might have got the raw end of the deal here fellas." he surmised as his eyes scanned over all the dirty dishes. "Leave it Charlie. I'll do it. The game will be starting soon. You two go and watch it. I'll be in soon."

"You not head over to the Underwood's?" asked Billy. Jake shrugged, scrapping the scraps off the plates. "Na. Aponi's family are going up to the Makah res this afternoon." He paused at the table adding. "I don't think we're going to last much longer anyway."

Billy watched his son with a knowing eye, the Underwood's were a good family but Billy wasn't a fan of the way the teenager openly threw herself at Jacob. He'd thought Jake had handled her advances well and he had been surprised when Jake had brought her home for the first time. There was something about her that the long-standing Chief disliked. The loss of her as a potential addition to the family wouldn't be missed.

Jake plied a stack of plates up and started to carry it to the sink, smiling his broad smile he called over his shoulder. "Anyway, I think I'll have some quality male bonding time with my Pa and his besty instead!"

Renesme enjoyed the evening with the Cullen family, Edwards mother Esme and his father, Dr Carlisle Cullen were the perfect hosts. They all sat around the lounge while Edward played the piano. His surprise for Bella, was a new piece he had composed for her. It was lovely. Renesme finally met Edwards's sister Alice and her boyfriend Jasper. Alice was a sprightly girl, with no filter between her thoughts and her words. She treated Bella like a sister and Bella returned the spirit. Alice's boyfriend Jasper seemed to be a good counter point for Alice's exuberance, he was quiet and calm, appraising the social event from the corner couch. Alice was back form college for the holiday having met Jasper on Campus.

Later, they all found out Edward apparently had another surprise for Bella. One that required her staying the night in a cabin he had rented on the coast. He'd even taken the liberty of having Alice pack a bag for her. _How romantic. How the hell am I getting back to Charlie's house? _ As the evening wore on, Renesme decided to broach the subject with Bella. Bella was worrying over her, acting like the sister both girls had always wanted. "Are you sure you'll be ok tomorrow on your own? You can use my truck if you want to go somewhere. Sleep in my bed tonight ok." Bella fretted. "Thanks," accepted Renesme. "I might take a drive around, go for a hike or something. Um, Bella. I was wondering, how am I getting home?"

"Oh Yeah, let me phone Charlie and he can come and get you." She nagged as she picked up the phone like she lived there. "Edward, you should have had me drive here so Renesme could get back."

"Sorry Renesme. I didn't think." He said to Ren, turning to Bella he asked, "Do you need me to drive her?" Bella shook her head as she shushed him. _I swear they are like an old married couple some times._ Renesme heard Bella explain the situation to Charlie, asking him to come and pick her up. "He's on his way," she said as she hung up the phone. Renesme said her good nights and decided to wait on the porch feeling overwhelmed by the scene of 'perfect family' before her.

Before long she could hear the sound of gravel crunching as headlights came up the drive. Expecting to see the police cruiser she was surprised to see Jacobs Rabbit pull up next to the front steps.

"I thought Charlie was picking me up." Renesme said, flustered as she leaned into the window.

"Let's just say he and dad have enjoyed the evening a little too well. If you know what I mean." Jacob chortled. He turned around looking to the front porch as Renesme climbed into the front seat. "Where's Bella?" he asked

"It's just me. Edward's taking Bella somewhere special tomorrow so she's staying with him tonight."

Renesme felt the air thicken with tension as Jacob set off. The silence in the car was only interrupted by the purring sound of the engine and the discreet strains of the radio. Neither of the two knew what to say. Renesme was inert in her seat, afraid any conversation with him would make him more familiar, make her fall further. She hoped a nonchalant reserve would help her heart to wait. Wait patiently. She thought about their evening together all those weeks ago, how comfortably their conversation had flowed. How right it had felt waking up in his arms. How stupid she had been to choose her fears and ambitions over _this_, whatever _this_ was. The eroding hole in her chest made her shoulders slump in on herself. She sat with her hands folded in her lap as she desperately attempted to blink the threatened tears away. She sat still even though inside she was dying to reach over and hold his hand.

Jacob could feel the sorrow rolling off her. _I have to ask her what's wrong. This is the only chance I'll get. _Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her whispering to the song on the radio. A quiet melody emanated from her lips. "I won't give up on us. Even if the sky gets rough. We got a lot to give. God knows we're worth it." Jacob reached to the volume and turned it up slightly. Deciding there was no better time than the present to talk to her, he pulled over the side of the road. Taking her hand in his, he turned to her, his eyes drinking in her face. The moonlight was coating her flawless skin. "Renesme, tell me what's wrong. I saw you this morning after we drove past. I hate seeing you like this. What's the matter?" he asked, his voice a soothing plea. She looked back into his deep brown eyes. She felt her sole reflected back in them. His heartfelt concern broke her reserve. "Me_, I'm_ what's wrong Jacob. I should never have pushed you away last time. And now I have to live with the consequences of my actions." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as a silent tear fell across her cheek. "Don't cry Ness." He begged. "What do you mean?" Hope filling him but still needing the conformation from her. She battered the tear from her cheek, sniffling. "What do you think I mean Jacob? I have to watch you with another woman. I know I have no right to, but…" she dropped her head hesitating, then, deciding to just lay all her cards on the table she added. "I don't want to see you with anyone else." His fingers drifted up to her face, his hands cupping either side of her jaw. "Do you want to be with me? Do you want to try?" he breathed.

"Yes." She admitted, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I can't function without you." She leaned her face into his hand, closing her eyes she felt the calloused gnarls of his palm. "This last month has been totally shit. I feel like half of me is missing without you. But I don't even know you." _Red robin, shut it. You'll scare him off… _

_But I can't keep this bottled inside any longer._

Jacob clutched her by both wrists, his eyes piercing in to hers. "I was so annoyed with you, you know? I don't know why? Your right, we hardly know each other. I was thinking how much I wanted to give this a chance. I could tell it could have been good- Better than good… But then you shut me out before we could even start it." He licked his lips as he moved closer to her. "I think you're beautiful Renesme. Inside and out. I feel it too. I want to know everything there is to know about you. You make me feel like I can do anything. You keep me grounded." His eyes locked with hers as she looked back up to him. "When I'm with you I feel like I'm whole, I just never knew I was missing anything." He closed his eyes taking a long slow breath, his head gently shaking from side to side. "These last few weeks, I felt like I couldn't function without you either." His eyes were brimming with tears, the same as hers.

She couldn't believe he was saying these thing to her. He still wanted her? After casting him aside without a second thought. Here he was, saying she made him _whole_. She felt she didn't deserved so much from him. But Ness knew she would take all the love he'd lavish on her nonetheless.

His eyes closed as he bent in to kiss her. His lips soft and hot against hers. She reached up as they came together, with hard and tender passion. Her heart was soaring in her throat as his tongue slid between her lips, deepening the kiss. The feeling was immense and overwhelming, and it took all the willpower as she had to put her hands on his chest, and gently push him away. "We can't," she muttered against his lips.

"Why not?" he implored, his heartbreak carried in his voice. "What more do you want? I don't understand Ness."

"It's simple Jacob," she said, her voice quiet. "Aponi. I won't be some other woman on the side."

Jacob had totally forgotten about the girl who had sat in that exact seat just that same morning. "You're not Ness. We actually sort of half broke up this morning." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks flushed. Renesme wondered, was he blushing from getting caught cheating or from the heat of kissing her?

"What does that mean? Half?" she asked disbelieving.

"It means she wouldn't take a hint, that's what it means. But I'll break up with her properly tomorrow. Ok?" he bent his head down so his eyes were lined up with hers. He was overwhelmed by the intensity in her emerald gaze. "Please don't turn away from me again. Promise? Truthfully, she's doesn't mean anything to me. She kind of gets on my nerves if I'm being honest. I don't know why was even with her."

He slammed his palms in to his lap, letting out a frustrated breath. "What I feel for you is different. So much more. Much more real. You and me. Us." He griped her by the arms, his giant hands wrapping around her bicep, as if the grip would will her to understand his conviction. "I just know it Ness. Were two halves of a whole. Promise you'll let us get to know each other better. See if we're right?"

"I want to Jacob, but I won't give you any promise you can't accept." He leaned in to kiss her again, then his arms wrapped around her. "Trust me. I want _you_." He pulled her closer, his cheek leaning on the top of her head. He breathed in the delicious smell of her hair. "You smell amazing." He added, distracted by her physical presence. He looked at the clock on the stereo, _11:15_ "If it wasn't so late, I'd go over and break it off now. I swear, first thing in the morning." He kissed her again, this time with even more passion. His lips parting as he pushed his mouth on hers. He ran his tongue along hers. She moaned into his mouth as she broke away from the embrace. Both hands flat on his chest, gently but firmly pushing him away. Her inner woman screaming for her to continue, her conscious won though_._ "I told you when I do something, I do it 100%. And that includes relationships. It definitely includes my integrity. This," She indicated, her hands flicking between the two of them. "This isn't happening until you're free to do it properly."

"Okay, as much as I don't want to admit it. I get it." He conceded.

"But when you _are_ free. I'll be waiting. Waiting patiently for you." They smiled across at each other, letting the energy that was surging around them stitch their souls together. He turned, starting the car, seizing what small victory he could. "Let me take you home" he said, as they set off along the road, his fingers interlaced through hers. Renesme looked down at their hands. Unsure if this was crossing the imaginary line she had drawn. She left it there in any case, giving him a little reassuring squeeze.

- o ~ O * O ~ o -

As they arrived at the house the sounds of merry singing could be heard wafting through the window. "Sounds like they've continued to enjoy the evening." She said as they entered the house.

Jake slapped his father on the arm "Come on old man, you're too ancient to be drinking like a frat boy."

"Oh loosen up Jake. We're just remembering all the things we're thankful for." slurred Billy as Jake wheeled him to the door. Charlie, who was in a slightly better condition, stood to help. Renesme stood in the door way as she watched Jacob lift her father in to his car. Billy called from the vehicle. "Oh I forgot. Renesme, you're invited down to Second Beach tomorrow. We're having a salmon bake and a bonfire. I thought you might like to hear some of the tribe stories." She scanned over at Jake who looked as though the event was a surprise to him. His eyes met hers as he smiled a nervous smile. "That would be lovely. What time?"

"Any time after lunch. We'll be starting the fire up around two. But I'm sure it'll go well in to the night."

"Thanks Billy. I'd love to come. But I won't be able to stay too long, my foster parents are picking me up to take me back to Sequim around four." She smiled, genuinely touched that she had been so easily accepted into the small community. She waved as the car backed out the driveway and returned to the kitchen to make herself a tea. Charlie said his tipsy goodnights and headed upstairs to sleep it off.

She was at the kitchen counter waiting for the kettle to boil when she heard the hurried footsteps on the floor. She turned in time to see Jake as he dashed across the room. He pulled her into his arms, his lips frantic against hers. She returned the kiss with equal fervour. Her hands combing through his long black hair. Standing in front of each other, their bodies were pressed together. He could feel her breasts pushing into his chest the way they rose and fell with her gasping. She could feel his desire growing as it pressed into her stomach through his pants. She stopped him before things could get too out of hand. "What was that for?" she asked leaning her forehead into his shoulder.

"We forgot the leftovers. I was more than happy to run up to get them." He laughed. "Do I need a reason to kiss you?"

"Yes you do. While you still officially have a girlfriend any way." she scolded as she pecked him quickly. She went to the fridge to fetch the leftovers. He watched as she bent over into the fridge and couldn't help but come up to her from behind holding her by the hips. She squealed and stood up straight as she battered his hands away. Her face flushed a bright crimson. "Wow Jacob. Slow down. This is all new to me." She handed him the tin foil package, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh. Sorry Ness. You know you have an amazing ass? By body just responded on its own. I am a boy remember. We don't always think with our brain."

"My ass is only from a direct result of many, _many_ lunges and stairs. I did happen to notice that you are indeed a boy and it's pretty easy to guess what you were thinking with. But until you're a free agent, hands off." She smiled, eyes wide in a fun tease.

He cocked his head to the side and thrust out his bottom lip in a childish pout. "So am I forgiven? You'll come tomorrow?"

She giggled in spite of herself. "Yes and yes. Now go. Your dad's waiting." She placed her hands on the small of his back and marched him to the door. "See you tomorrow. _Attendant patiemment_" she warbled as he bounded down the porch steps.

He paused and turned to look at her, "What does that mean?" his wide, perfect smile flashing in the darkness.

"Just that I'll be waiting patiently."

"It'll be worth the wait." he called as he hoped into the driver's seat and sped down the road.


	11. Chapter 11 Up in smoke

The next morning Renesme slept late. She could see the sheets of rain as they fell on the window. Any chance of a jog washed away. She could hear Charlie shuffling around the house down stairs. Feeling more comfortable alone she decided to stay up in Bella's room for a while. She chose a book from Bella's expansive collection and settled in to read. It wasn't long before she was distracted by thoughts of Jacob. She wondered how he was this morning. Was he in the middle of breaking Aponi's heart? How attached to her was he really? How far had they gone together? _He seemed to know what he was doing last night. God. I have no clue. Would it be weird to talk about that sort of stuff with him? Will I _do_ that sort of stuff with him? I guess so. Eventually. How is this going to work? We live 4 hours away from each other. A long distance relationship. I'm not afraid of a little hard work... Somehow, I don't think it will ever be hard with Jacob. Hard, he sure was hard last night… Oh God. _She threw herself down on to the bed. Looking at the time, she noted with frustration she still at three hours to wait. In an attempt to calm herself, she lay on the bed, focusing her breath she begin a breath meditation, it wasn't long before she drifted into a peaceful rest, filled with thoughts of him.

Jacob woke that morning with the intention on going over to see Aponi first thing. However, his father had other plans. Billy had Jacob taxiing all kinds of things over to the Clearwater's home. Their place was closest to first beach so was used as a holding space before tribe bonfires. It was mid-morning before he had a chance to drive over to Aponis's family home. He arrived and parked in the driveway careful to position the car for an easy getaway. He really didn't know how Aponi was going to take the break-up. He figured she be more upset about being dumped that by actually losing his affections. Even more so, the loss of the opportunity to use him as a status symbol. The though left a bad taste in his mouth as he again wondered why he was even with her in the first place. She reminded him of a strangler vine. Stunning in full bloom, luscious green leaves as it weaved its way up into the rainforest canopy. It seemed beautiful until you realised it was killing and smothering the plant it clung to, until all that was left was the empty shell of the tree that once stood having sucking all the life out of it. It was probably a little harsh, but that was how he felt. Strangled.

He approached the front porch with his speech running through his mind. Determined to make her listen to him. Before he could knock at the door her little sister Fern, came outside. "Hey Jake. Api's not here, she stayed at our cousin Winona's place last night. They're getting a ride with Leah's cousin Emily, they should be here in time for the Bake." She said as she grabbed her bike from the side of the porch. "Ah. Ok. Thanks Fern. Do you know if she'll be home first?"

"No idea, sorry. See you." she called as she peddled away.

_What am I gunna do now? Can I break up with her at the bonfire? What if she makes a scene? I don't wanna wait 'till after, Renesme will be there... Crap._

_- o ~ O * O ~ o -_

Jacob offered to help set-up on the beach. He collected driftwood along the beach and helped set up the great wire racks that the red fish would be laid upon. The sun was shining over the dunes as Jake kept glancing over to watch for them, waiting for either girl to arrive. Of course, both arrived within minutes of each other. Aponi and her cousin shimmied down the sand to where Jacob was standing. Wearing a tight fitting, white dress, it was cut low at the neck and high at the legs, she pressed herself into Jake, her arms circling his neck as she reached up for a kiss "Hey babe" she crooned. "Hey Api," he answered robotically, his head turning so that she could only kiss his cheek. As he tuned, he saw Renesme walking over the dunes, her gaze focused on him. She had on a simple blue and white striped dress, straight and to the knee, a thick brown belt clinching her waist, a white cardigan over her arms, her shoes were hanging in her hands. He saw the way her hair was a mess of curls as the ocean gust whipped it around her head. He watched her for a split second before turning back to Aponi. "I need to talk to you, can we go somewhere private."

"Have you thought about our _Sextract_" she purred as she walked her fingers up his chest. "Do you want to go over some of the fine points?" She cupped his groin, clipping the word 'point' her body pressing against him still. He turned to see if Renesme was watching their exchange but she was looking down to her bare feet.

The sun was directly behind her giving her an halo, he could see a slight slump in her shoulders as he watched her golden silhouette look down over him like an angel. He flickered his gaze, attempting to adjust his eyes to the light, the slump in her posture was gone, her strong athletic frame supporting her again. "No Aponi. I just want to talk." He could smell the alcohol wafting off her breath. "God have you been drinking? What are you doing? All the Elders will be here. Your parents are around too. Are you crazy? " He piqued, taking her by the elbow to walk her down the beach. They needed to go some where private for this discussion. Somewhere she could make a scene.

She unlinked there arms and wound her fingers through his, seductively rubbing her nails of the other hand up and down his arm. "Oh Jakey. I was just getting the party started a little early. You could do with a little liquid courage yourself." He ignored her jibe as he continued to walk, looking out over the Pacific. The sun had shown up a little after lunch and the sky was pleasant with small wisps of white streaking across the powder blue. The waves came crashing in as the wind blew a fine mist of spray into the couple. Jacob was unsure how to begin, he just wanted this to be over. "Did you have a nice thanksgiving?"

"Yeah it was ok. Had enough of my parents for a while though. It was good I could stay with Winona. She's going to stay the rest of the weekend."

"That's good." He paused working up the courage to go on. He stopped, thinking they has walked far enough, he turned to face her, unwinding his fingers from hers. "Api, I think we need to stop seeing each other." _There, I've said it._

"What do you mean Jacob?"

"I mean, I don't want to go out with you anymore. I mean it. It's over." He clipped the words by adding a criss-cross motion with his arms. He had a tone of finality in his voice.

"Why? I still don't get it? I'm like, the hottest girl at school. Everyone knows we're perfect for each other." She was look at Jake with her hands on her hips. She was definitely more irritated by the impact this would have on her image rather than being hurt by them splitting up.

"On the outside we might be. But we don't have exactly the most riveting conversations."

"You want to talk more?" Her eyebrows were raised in seer disbelief.

"No. Yes. I want to _want_ to talk to you. I want a relationship. Not some booty call." He explained, his voice lowering to a mutter, his self-loathing palpable. He thought about the soul searching conversations he had already shared with Renesme and truly understood just how little he had shared with Aponi, all it had ever been was physical. The girl looked at him, comprehension washing over, indignation set into her eyes.

"You're so stupid, you know that? I just think you're still in love with Bella." She accused. "God Jacob, when are you gunna get it through your thick skull she's not in to you? She's practically married to Cullen." She leaned towards him, poking his chest with her fingers, each stab emphasizing every insult she threw at him. "You're poor, you have no prospects for college and you're stuck in this god dammed place." She pushed him with both hands, palms flat against his chest. Jake just staggered back, then righted himself, taking all her wrath face-on. She rambled on, talking to her drunken self. "I knew it was a bad idea meeting her yesterday." She turned back to Jacob, hands back on to her hips. Spite and venom in her words. "Did you get to compare us side by side? Did I not stand up to little Miss perfect and her perfect world?"

"I'm not in love with Bella. She _is_ my friend though, so I'd appreciate you not talking about her like that." He yelled back. He paused and shut his eyes, not liking the way the exchange was headed, he took her by the hand giving it a chaste squeeze, his voice a soft rumble. "Come on Aponi, don't make this harder that it has to be."

"I'll make this as hard as I like Jacob Black. Now leave me alone." She spat as he marched back toward the gathering. He followed a good 20 feet behind, not wanting to have anything further to do with her that day. Jacob mused about how poorly she had taken his ending it. He really felt like a piece of shit, it didn't seem right, breaking up with one girl to have arms wide open for another only minutes later. Jake sat down on the soft sand looking out to the waves as they crashed, slamming into the sand sending up a splash of white foam. He toyed with a smooth stone as he watched the small ebb of tide creep its way up the shore line only to once again be pulled back to add to the next wave. Wishing he had never given in to Aponi's advances, Jake thanked the spirits things had never progressed any further sexually. His self-worth already taking a pummelling, he very much disliked being nothing more than a status symbol for a girlfriend. He wanted a partner, someone who would love him for him, Jake, the person inside, more than the muscles and the face and the family name. Jake thought about the girl he wanted to have his arms around and his spirits lifted. Ness was better than him in every way, but there she was, waiting for him on his home lands. His soul had just been waiting for Ness to come back to him. The nineteen year old teenager in him just got a little distracted. He stood up, dusting the sand off his pants, throwing the stone into the surf and jogged back to the bonfire.

As Jacob reached the get-together his eyes scanned the crowd for Renesme. She was nowhere in sight. A sick feeling settled into his gut. _Is she ok? Maybe she's gone for a walk while she waited for me. A swim? No, it's too cold for swimming. _ Bella and Edward had arrived and were wandering down the sand towards him. He rushed over to meet them. "Bells, have you seen Renesme?"

She shook her head, shrugging, "No, Why?"

"She was here before, but now I can't find her. I'll ask your dad." He rushed over to Charlie who was chatting with his dad. His heart was in his throat. "Charlie have you seen Renesme?" The Chief took a swig of his beer before answering. "Yeah, she left a little while ago with her folks or whatever you call them. She said to say good bye and that she couldn't "wait" as long as she'd thought'." Jakes heart sank, confusion and panic crashing through him. Charlie continued, his eyes unfocoused over the ocean as if he was picturing the scene in his mind. "They seemed like real nice folk. You should have got an eye full of that foster mother of hers. Stunning!" He held out a set of car keys. "Oh here. Can you give these to Bella for me? Renesme left them." Jacob took the keys as he shuffled back to Bella and Edward. He didn't understand. Why couldn't she have waited 5 minutes? She promised. His chest ached and his eyes began to burn. His mouth was dry as his breath caught in his throat.

"Here, Renesme left with her foster parents already." He held up the car keys. "What? Why?" Bella slowly reached up for them, her hands frozen in mid-air. "I was really hoping to see Rose." Bella regarded Jacob with a knowing eye. Her hand snapped back down as she folded her hands across her chest she stepped towards him, ire in her posture. "What did you do Jacob? Did you hurt her? Cause if you did, I swear to God!"

"No!" he yelled back. "Relax Bella. I didn't do anything!" his shoulders slumped as he flopped down on to a large piece of drift wood. "At least, I don't think I did. I just broke up with Aponi. Like, just now." he cried, running his hand through his hair. "And I came back to see Renesme and she's gone. I didn't even get to say hello to her… let alone good bye."

"Why don't you phone her Jacob?" Edward suggested taking his phone out of his pocket. Bella snatched the phone out of his hand. "Let me. She might actually talk to me."

Bella rang Renesme's number. "It's going through to her mail box." She whispered. "Hi Ren it's just me. I was wondering why you left so soon. Hope you had a good night last night. I'm sure Jacob got you home safe and sound." She turned her body away from the men in a futile attempt to hide her conversation from Jake. "Jacob just broke up with Aponi by the way. This is definitely not wait patiently, this, this is just plain, running scared little bird… Any who. Call me back. Bye"

Renesme sat in the back seat of the SUV, staring out the window. She watched as the tall cedar forest of the Olympic coast flicked by. _I'm such an idiot. What was he hoping to do? Keep a little on the side? Something for the weekdays at home and then come visit me on weekends?_ _Well there's no way I'm into that. Oh God Jacob, how could I have been so wrong about you? _Her phone rang, she looked down to check it and saw Edward's number flashing up. She pressed the reject button, not wanting to have that conversation in the car with Rose and Em in ear shot. When she got home she'd call Bella back, just not now. Soon the voice mail chimed, not bothering to check it she stuffed her phone into her bag and gazed back out the window. She watched as the forest morphed into the luscious costal rainforest. She stared out that window as the tears silently fell. She said goodbye to the boy she thought she knew better than anyone else. Good bye to the boy who she never really knew at all.

* * *

Oh silly Nessie, jumping to the wrong conclusions, you self sabotaging fool. Will he run after her? or has she broken his heart one too many times.


	12. Chapter 12 Hiding

When they arrived back in Sequim, Renesme settled in the room Rosalie had made for her. It was simple, small and hers. Rose had left it just as she had furnished it while Ren lived with them in High School. It was a creamy soft room, with alabaster painted walls and white washed wood furniture. Her desk was littered with books and papers. Her Great grandmothers Will and Last Testament sat in a large vanilla envelope centred on the desk. She sat on her bed as she gazed out the window. It overlooked the house next door. Her Gran Mère Sophie's house.

The rambling garden still growing out the back, though now weeds were beginning to take over. The house lay empty now, waiting on the lawyers to decide who gets what piece of the house she called her home. Her Great Grandmother had left the majority of her estate to Renesme but her Grandmother had taken exception to this and was attempting to contest the will. Sophie's daughter, Elizabeth, was never present in the girls life. Marie, Renesme's mother, had been thrown out of the family home after falling pregnant with Ren at fifteen. The family had never been close after that.

At age ten, almost nine months after her mother's death, Renesme had been living with her Grand Mère Sophie for a year, Sophie had taken her to met her biological maternal grandmother for the first time. They visited a handful of other times, but a relationship never developed. There was a coldness about her. It saddened her that her own flesh and blood could be so distant and it upset her now even more that she could be as petty and greedy as to contest the will.

Elizabeth had never visited Sophie as she lay paralysed after her stroke. She had never stay at the home very evening to spoon feet her. She had never sat quietly by her bed reading her old French novels. And Elizabeth was defiantly not there, holding the old ladies hand as she took her last breath. But Renesme was.., as a sixteen year old girl she'd lovingly cared for the dying woman. It offended Ness that now, after Sophie's death, that her grandmother had the audacity to demand a larger portion of the estate. It turned out her Great Grandfather had been quiet an astute investor decades ago and there were a network of properties around the Pacific Rim, as well as substantial amount of blue-chip stock. Ness would give it all away if it meant having her Gran-mere back and healthy with her. But she knew she couldn't have her back and she didn't want to give Elizabeth the satisfaction of an easy win fall.

Deciding that she had put off the inevitable long enough, she sighed as she picked up the phone to call her friend. The phone answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hey Bella. It's me."

"Renesme! Are you alright? You just took off. Why didn't you wait to see us?"

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to see him. Em and Rose arrived and I didn't want to keep them either."

"What do you mean you didn't want to see him? He broke up with his girlfriend for you Ren! He was so freaked out. You should have seen him. He's really hurting Renesme. Aponi and her possy are giving him a hard time too."

"Bella, you didn't see him with her. They were all over each other. I don't know what he told you but they sure looked cosy. Last night we talked about it. He knows I won't get involved with someone who's already in a relationship. And I sure as shit won't be the other woman."

"Ok. I hear you. But for what it's worth I still think you should call him."

"What would I say 'Hey Jake, sorry I ran out on you. So, did you break up with your girlfriend for me? Because I saw you guys kissing and then she touched you're schlong. Oh, you did break up with her! Well that's great. I guess I'll see you in a few months over the summer then.'" She huffed. "Come on Bella, we're just kids. We hardly know each other either." Her words were flowing, hoping that the more she tried to convince Bella, the more she'd believe all the excuses herself. The less it might hurt. "I've seen how hard it is for you to be so far away from Edward and you guys were together for years before college. We were probably destined to fail anyhow. All I'm doing is cutting it off before either of us get hurt." She was hurting anyway.

"Ok, Ok. Would you talk to him if _he_ called you? I could talk to him for you." She offered.

"No please Bella, don't. Don't get involved. I don't want you to get stuck in the middle of all this."

"Will you at least think about calling him?"

"All right I think about it"

"Good." she paused on the other end of the line. "You need a lift back to school on Sunday?"

"If you're offering, it'll save Em the trip. I've decided to get my own set of wheels soon, by the way. I think I have enough saved."

"Finally! I'm so sick of hauling your sorry ass around Seattle!" Bella mocked.

"Yeah right. You love the glory of being my personal chauffer, don't lie!"

Bella laughed at that. "Your right I love all the glory. Ok. I'll see you Sunday."

"Thanks Bells."

"No worries babe. Promise me you'll think about it."

"I will. I will." Renesme soothed.

"Bye Ren"

"Bye"

After Renesme hung up from Bella, she sat on her bed staring at her phone. She flicked through her contacts finding the number Jacobs had given her. Her thumb hovered over the call button. _What will I say? Will I believe him if he says he broke up with her? Even if he has, we can be together, won't see each other for months, we live hours apart. This whole thing is shit. Just shit. _She felt empty inside. Her soul seemed shattered, with a big missing piece back in La Push. The scars on that heart of hers opening up and bleeding out. She forced herself to rebuild that wall, brick by brick. She pressed the end button on the phone as she threw hard it against her door. All her frustrations and pain boiling over.

- o ~ O * O ~ o -

The two friends returned to Seattle to continue the rest of term. Bella never asked Renesme about the Jacob issue. Renesme threw herself into her training and study. She did all that was asked of her and more, pushing her body to its maximum. But her heart wasn't in it. She found it hard to focus, hard to sleep, hard to eat. She drew into herself. Red felt like an empty broken eggshell that had been placed back together, but the cracks were still evident and the shell fragile, waiting for a small pressure to break it all over again.

As part of her nursing degree Renesme was attending Harborview Medical Centre for two weeks on a clinical placement. The hours were long and she found she gained quite a lot of perspective during her time in the children's ward. After a tyring bus ride home and a particularly disturbing day involving an abused seven year old little girl. Exhausted, Ren arrived home to find a homemade CD of classical music on her pillow.

She lay on her bed sinking into the softness and she played the CD, letting herself get lost in the music, forgetting the troubles of her day. As Bach's Cello suite No.1 began to play, weaving its music around her, her mind drifted to thoughts of Jacob and the night she had played for him. She remembered the way it had felt to have him hear her song. how it had felt to let that hidden secret part of her shine, the sense of sharing, of right, of belonging. It had been so easy to let him in that night. She's been herself without even meaning to. And if she was being honest with herself, she knew- even back then- that it had felt so very, very right. Then w_hy did I fight it? I fought it because I'm a stubborn, scared, fool. That's why. _

Ren closed her eyes and imagined him troweling through a friends music collection, putting together this assortment for her. She griped her pillow and hugged it to her chest. The pillow he had slept on. She couldn't stop thinking of him. She didn't want to be away from him anymore. Her defences were crumbling again.

It was a less than a month before Christmas and the middle of their exam week when Renesme asked Bella if she'd spoken to Jake, what she might have said to him about her running away like a scared little child. "Nothing. I swear." She answered. "I didn't say anything to him about it. You asked me not to and I respected that. No matter how much I disagreed with it."

"He didn't ask about me?" Renesme inquired, taken aback and secretly a little hurt he hadn't.

"Of course he did. He called me about a hundred times trying to find out what was going on. All I told him was Rose and Em had arrived early and you had to go back to Sequim with them. And when you wouldn't answer his calls, I told him I didn't want to get involved and that was that." Bella regarded her friend, sincerely hoping that her two best friends could make a go of things. "Why the sudden interest Ren? You want me to talk to him over Christmas break. I'm sure I'll be seeing him.

"No. I just want to know how his doing? You think he really broke up with her?

"Yes. I do. He was so uptight after you left Ren. You're both stubborn, but I think you win in the '_I've decided and I don't want to hear it'_ category." Bella was scooping up her books and stuffing them in her bag as she prepared to head down to the library. "You two need to communicate better. Or at least hear him out. You look like crap, I hear you tossing and turning every night. I can see you're not happy Red."

Renesme looked down at her fingers as she played with her finger nail, flicking it with her thumb, over and over. The sound was sharp and exact, like a ticking clock bringing her closer to the decision she was trying to find the courage to make. "I think I might message him a happy Christmas or something. Kind of like a yuletide olive branch." She mused over her thoughts, as the last of the bricks were knocked off the wall.

The girls got through their exams. Renesme continued to balance her Academic and Track commitments. Her training focused on her specialty event in preparation for the coming summer. Her cello still sat in the corner of the dorm room, untouched and unplayed. The winter break arrived and Bella took Renesme to her foster parent's home on her way back to Forks. Renesme was planning on spending a week or so with Rosalie and Em and then would make her way to Bella's father's home in time to celebrate the New Year with her best friend. She wasn't sure when or if she'd see Jacob or how he'd react if he did see her. The thought frightened her. Had she messed it all up? Blown her only chance- her second chance. Would he give her a third? There were something you just couldn't come back from. She could only hope.

- o ~ O * O ~ o -

The night of Christmas Eve, Renesme decided to send her olive branch to Jacob. She sat looking out her bedroom window as the snow started to filter down. She felt the butterflies flick in her stomach as she wrote and rewrote the message.

_*Hey Jake. Merry xmas. Sorry I took off aftr thnx giving. I shouldn't hav just ran w/o getting your side of the story. Sorry. I'm coming to stay with Bella on the 31__st__. See you for NYE? Start the year fresh? IMU Renesme X *_

She sent the text before she lost her nerve. Then she forwarded the message to Bella. _*this is just what I sent Jacob. Too much? Tell me if he mentions it. RR*_

Her phone chimed back, she expected it to be Bella reading every detail into the words. She looked at her phone, she was surprised to see a response from Jacob. She could feel her pulse begin to race, her hands damp as she opened the message.

_*Hey yourself. Did you realise that was the first time u've called me Jake? I like it. Sorry you had to see me with A. Totally not how the day was meant to go. My friend Quill is having a nye party. You and B&E should come. A fresh start would be good. I have some g8 news 2! MU2 XxX J Jake. Ps why does B call you red robin?*_

"Well that was easy." She said to herself as she replied to him, a smile paltered across her face. A_ little too easy._ She looked at the "MU2 XoX" he'd written. _Does he know that's a kiss? Does he realy miss me? Was he just being nice? Polite? Maybe he was just asking her to the party because she was staying at Bella's and she was invited too? Did he just want to be friends now? Oh God. I left for it too long! _She was starting to panic all her fears were being realised. She didn't want to put herself out on that ledge. It was so frightening to Rouge-gorge, the little, half-starved, dirty girl that Sophie had brought home was scared to fall.

She remembered the resolution she given to herself-and to him. Try. She needed to at least try and find out. Could she handle only ever knowing friendship from him? She doubted it. But she needed to step out on to that ledge if she was ever going to know. He'd messaged her with a light and happy tone. It was so like him, she thought, cheerful and easy. She decided to keep with the tenor and reply as if it was the night before the bonfire and that the last six weeks never happened_. But they did_. She bushed that though out of her mind and typed a reply back.

_*Totally there for NYE. My GM Sophie used to call me Rouge-gorge, its French for red robin. I think it was my hair or something. I'll c if B has anything planned for NYE. G8 news? Can't wait to hear it. gNite xox RR*_

He replied back straight away, as if he was waiting for her message with the phone open in his hand.

_*B says hi. She's my place with her dad. She's trying to read over my shoulder. Not letting her see. Can't wait till nxt week. Nite. Ps I like everything about yr hair.*_

Renesme giggled as she imagined Bella trying to see what Jake was writing. In her mind she saw his brilliant smile flashing across his face and she hoped we was happy. Or maybe she hoped he wasn't, that he'd been as miserable without her as she had been. Either way she hoped he'd give her a chance... for a third time.

She sent a message to Bella. _*y didn't u tell me u were there? Come with me to NYE Prty? Stop looking over his shoulder, let him think he has _some_ secrets from u… He likes my hair btw.*_

Renesme enjoyed her Christmas with her foster parents. It was quiet but homely. She felt a sense of peace as she relaxed in the house she had spent much time in as a young teenager. She spent the cold snowy days in Em's garage gym, training for the upcoming invitational meets. On a shelf of the garage she saw her father's old guitar case. She looked at the old tattered black case, scattered with worn stickers. She couldn't help but be transported to her days as a child, listening to her father play on the streets of the city. He had taught her to play a small repertoire of songs, he always maintained they got more money when she played. People always payed big for kids who were busking. It was one of the only happy memories she had of her early childhood. The memory was tainted though, because, as soon as the velvet lined case had filled with enough cash, her parents would be on the door of the local dealer, ready for their next hit.

She reached up and took the case down and darted to her bedroom. She sat down on her bed and opened the case. Her fingers ran along the strings. The wood was smooth and warm. Her hands strummed over the threads, she couldn't help herself. She skilfully tuned the guitar then started to play the song she first learned as a child, 'Yesterday' by the Beatles. She felt her eyes betraying her as they brimmed with salty tears. She looked up as Rosalie dipped her head through the doorway of her room.

"I haven't heard you play for ages. I love it Red. Keep going." She prompted. Rose sat with her legs folded under her on the old sofa in her room.

The girl started playing again, the chords blending into one as she sang with the music. Her voice was strong and true. "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay, oh I believe in yesterday." She stopped abruptly, her hands across the sound hole.

"What's wrong?" asked Rose, her voice laced with concern. Ness stared at the lavender filled vase on the night stand, the violet heads popping out of the crystal, the familiar scent a calming influence on her.

"Nothing. I just… this song isn't me anymore. My life _used_ to be troubled. Not knowing where we'd sleep one night to the next. Always a little hungry, a little dirty. Now, my life is good. Great. Amazing." She turned looking at Rose directly. "I never knew the security of a home before you guys and Grand Mère. I don't think I've thanked you enough for every thing you did for me. I don't want to imagine where id be now if I stayed in Chicago."

She sighed as she ran her finger over the edge of the guitar. "The vulnerable, homeless, illiterate child within me… she misses my parents." She stated flatly. "But the realist, the strong, achieving woman I want to be, she knows it was the best thing that _ever_ happened to me." Her voice breaking with emotion. "It just kind of hit me, you know?" she leaned her elbow on the guitar her chin resting in her hand. She continued, mumbling into her knuckles. "I think sometimes Rose, I carry a bit of a chip on my shoulder." Ness huffed out a stifled laugh at her gross understatement. "I know I defiantly keep people at an arm's length." She sat up straighter, her arm levered over the wood. "And I've…I've just decided… I don't want to do that anymore." Rose moved to sit on the bed with the girl. Her arms around her surrogate daughter.

"Who do you want to let in Rouge-gorge?"

Renesme leaned into her warmth. "There's a guy in Forks, he's a friend of Bella's."

"What? That's great baby." She smiled and brought Renesme in for a motherly hug.

"Do you know La Push?" Ren asked, Rose nodded her assent. "He lives there with his father."

"He's Quileute? I bet he has beautiful hair."

"Yeah. He's rather beautiful." She sighed, a glint of first love in her eyes.

"So, are you two being safe?"

"We're not even going out Rose, settle down." Her cheeks burning. She muttered, embarrassed, as she replaced the guitar back into its case, shutting the lid ."I've been on the pill for years, remember? Grand Mère was very progressive if you recall?"

"She was, wasn't she?" the two of them giggled together, the room was quiet for a while, both remembering the glorious old French woman. "Are you seeing him tomorrow?"

"Yeah. He's invited me to his friends new year's eve party."

"You know they say, how you spend New Year's Eve will be how the rest of your year will go."

"I hope so, I hope so." She sighed as she clicked the silver clasp shut on the ratty old case she loved and hated simultaneously.


	13. Chapter 13 A brand New Year

"Its' only nine thirty Renesme. Calm down!" laughed Edward. He looked over his shoulder at her as he drove towards the darkened horizon of the pacific north-west coast, towards La Push, towards Jacob. She sat in the back seat of his car her leg pulsing, her hands shaking._ Shit! I'm so nervous. Deep breaths. Calm thoughts. Be cool._

"Sorry, I know it's early. I'm just so…" Bella cut in, "Nervous? We hadn't noticed." She laughed as she rolled her eyes. "Relax Ren, he's going to be just as nervous as you are. You wouldn't believe how many times he phoned me just to check you're still coming."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really." Bella turned around in her seat to face Renesme. "You don't have to be nervous. Be yourself, don't run away again-"

"Unless it's running into a back room for some tonsil hockey of course." Interrupted Edward, earning him a light backhanded slap on the shoulder from Bella.

"Just be a friend and let the night happen. Enjoy yourself."

"Oh his friends! I hadn't even thought about his friends being there." She sat upright in her seat, her hands gripping either side of the eats in front. Her head poking between the gap. "What if his friends don't like me?" Edward was laughing in hysterics. "What's so funny?"

"You'll know when you meet Quill."

"That's whose place were going to, right?"

"Yeah" he answered, attempting to contain the laughter. "I'd place odds on Quill hitting on you before Midnight" Bella turned to Edward, nodding with a broad smile across her face.

"She'll be like fresh meat to those boys."

Renesme pushed her face into her hands "Are you kidding me? Oh god. How awkward." She moaned.

"Oh Ren. I'm guessing you and Jake will be inseparable, so don't worry too much. Quills not so bad, once you get over his dirty mind. I'll make sure you meet Embry. He's Jakes closest friend. He'll love you just because you make Jacob happy. He's very sweet."

"Thanks guys. I'm glad you're gunna be there." An anxious thought entered her mind. "You two better not go anywhere either. Promise you'll stay till the count down."

Edward answered, a self-satisfied look across his face. "I promise, Bella and I will stay at the party for the rest of _this_ year. However, _next_ year, little bird, you're on your own. Time to leave the nest. Mamma and papa birdy need some alone time!" She pushed her fingers into her ears, "Too much information Edward. La, la, la, la, la, la."

They pulled into the street where the party was and parked across the road. The heavy base was pounding out the open doorway. Kids were moving in and out of the house on to the porch, some with cans of beer in their hands.

As the trio approached the house Renesme let Bella and Edward led, hiding behind them. They weaved their way around the people dancing in the living room, they left their coats and bags in a bedroom and headed towards the kitchen in the rear of the house.

"Well! Where have you been all of my life?" came a voice from behind her as she felt an arm wind around her waist, the hand brushing over her behind. She squirmed to the side attempting to graciously pull her way out of the strangers grip. "Renesme, meet Quill. Quill, get your dirty paws of my friend." Bella chided as she reached in for a hug, effectively getting Renesme out of his embrace. He shook Edwards hand as he eyed Renesme up and down. "Hi, I'm Quill . Quill Atera." He puffed his chest out and gave her what she guessed was his version of 'bedroom eyes'. In spite of his wandering hands, she found the boy amusing and Ness help but mimic his stance, saying. "Hi, I'm Renesme. Renesme Mason… and haven't I been in heaven most most of your life, didn't I just fall from there or something?"

"Ouch, a body and a brain, I like her already." He smiled, winking at Bella while cocking his head to Renesme. "You looking for Jake? I just saw him in here a few minutes ago. "He pointed to the front of the house. "The drinks are on the porch, feel free to have whatever you like. We got Leah Uley to get us some beer and even a few bottles of spirits for later. God that girl is cool!"

They made their way back round through the living area, weaving through clusters of people turning their bodies to the beat of the music, detouring to grab their jackets. As they approached the front door, Renesme could hear a familiar laugh out side. Her heart skipped a beat and the quiet flutter of butterflies in her stomach took off into a fully-fledged migration of a Monarch. _Jacob! He's here! _She nearly pushed past Bella as they approached the door but held herself in check. Edward shot a glance over his shoulder at her, laughter in his eyes. "Calm Down. You look like you're gunna be sick all over the floor." She just glared at her friend's partner with an incredulous look, her cheeks flushing.

"Jake!" called Bella as she walked outside.

"Bells, you're here! I didn't see you come in." he reached down to hug her. Jake had been hovering outside in the cold of the porch waiting for _her_ to arrive.

"We just got here. Renesme just had the pleasure of meeting Quill." At the mention of her name, his eyes shot up looking behind his friend, searching for the face of the girl he had been thinking about non-stop for the past few weeks. Renesme poked her head around the corner, her eyes honing in on his. As their eyes met the nervousness and anxiety she had been feeling melted away, replaced instead with a grounding sense of completeness. Her soul recognised him.

Jacobs's eyes drank in her appearance. Her creamy skin, flawless against the dark of her jacket. Her hair falling in ringlets over the fury hood pushed behind her. He watch as her tense face transformed to sureness and serenity. She smiled at him. Her eyes lit by the happiness that shone from within her. He felt the connection to her, the pull she had. His soul recognised her.

"Hey." he said, everyone else forgotten.

"Hey yourself." Renesme bit into her inner cheek, stepping over the threshold closer to Jacob.

"I'm glad you came." He brushed his hand over her arm.

"I wish I'd been able to come earlier." She contrived, her voice soft in the cold night air.

"Well, you're here now, that's what counts." He was once again struck by how naturally beautiful she was, no heavy make-up, her glossy hair falling over her statuesque shoulders.

Jacob was snapped out of his trance by a tanned arm punching him in the shoulder. "Jackey boy. Where's the Vitamin R?"

"OH, hey Paul. In the red cooler, I think." He replied, forced back into reality. Jacob looked around him, remembering that Edward and Bella were still out on the porch with them. "Did you guys get a drink?" he asked as he walked over to the coolers opening the lid. "I don't think we need to shut the lids, it like 15° out here tonight. That should keep the drinks cold enough." He pulled out a soda handing it to Bella. He knew his friend too well to ask. "What'd you like Edward?"

Edward replied, leaning over the box. "Let me see. I'll just have a Rainer." Jake took one more out for himself and turned to Renesme "What about you Ness?"

"Um, no beer. I might just wait a bit. I'll have a sip of someone else's later." She immediately worried that it might be rude not to have a drink at a party. _He probably thinks I'm some square Nancy. _"On second thoughts, is there a cruiser or something in there?"

"Don't feel like you have to drink alcohol Renesme. There's plenty of other stuff in here." He rummaged around the other box pulling out a bottle of juice. "What about this?"

"OK. Thanks." She smiled as he handed it to her, his fingers brushing along hers. He took a swig from his bottle as he watched her open hers and drink. Her lips moulding themselves to the rim as she tilted her head back. He eyed the movement over her throat as she swallowed down the liquid. _Who would have though dinking some juice could be so dam sexy? _

He cleared his throat trying to clear his head too. "Want to go for a walk?"

She smiled at him, she seemed shy and unsure of herself tonight. "That would be nice." She said chewing on her bottom lip nervously. "We should have talked weeks ago, I'm sorry." she gushed, her apology heavy in her green eyes. "Let me just get my bag." They left their drinks on the window sill as she ducked back into the house and quickly grabbed her satchel.

Bella stopped her before she could rush out the doorway, pulling her in to a light hug. "Have fun!" she sang into Renesme's ear. Renesme searched through her bag looking for her gloves. Then decided against it. She was hoping Jacob would hold her hand and she wanted to feel his skin on hers. She settled for her scarf as she wound it around her neckline, did up her jacket and lifted her hood.

"Are you warm enough?" asked Jacob as he took her by the hand to lead her down the street. His hand was warm on hers, he laced their fingers together as he drew circles on her palm with his thumb. The sensation tickled, her nerve endings heightened by his nearness. _he's holding my hand! Maybe he _meant_ to put those x's in the message._"Plenty warm, thank you." She smiled. She let out a little giggle to herself. _You can keep ALL of me warm if I get cold anyway Jake._

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." She replied, embarrassed by her outburst. Her heart was pounding so hard, she wondered if he could heart it. Suddenly remembering her Christmas gift she had for him. it was like it was burning a hole in her satchel as it pressed against her leg. Deciding it was a good way to start up a conversation, she jumped straight in with it. "How was your Christmas?"

"It was good," _all that was missing was you_ "One of my sisters are home for the holidays, so it was nice to not just be me and my dad."

"That would have been nice, she's at Washington State right? We sometimes go there for track meets. But most of the winter events are in Seattle." They continued to walk on, hand in hand in silence. "Did you get any good stuff for Christmas?" she asked as she noticed the brown suede jacket he was wearing. "I helped Bella pick out that jacket." she rubbed her free arm down his.

"You did? That must be why I actually like it." He leaned in towards her, his hand up to his mouth to indicate a secret. "Don't tell her, but, let's just say she doesn't always get the most useful gifts."

She sniggered in understanding. "I know what you mean. I got an exercise DVD this year. I mean it's great, but I kind of have a pretty ramped up exercise program already. I have a coach that yells at me at training 4 times a week and I do weights and platies and running in between. I think I should be the one _in_ the DVD." He laughed at her candour, his belly shaking. He used the back of his hand to wipe a joyful tear away. She squeezed his hand as she shyly admitted, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable Jake, but, I got you something little for Christmas too."

He smiled, lighting up his entire face. "I did too. But I left it back at my place" He lifted his chin motioning down the long street. "It's only another block down, let's go there now."

They walked side by side, the air crisp in his lungs. The cloud cover was thin enough to allow the moon to cast an ethereal glow over the pair, illuminating the road. He wound his arm around her shoulder pulling her in under him. Their footsteps synchronised, tapping out a rhythm of their feelings. As they approached his house, he suddenly felt nervous once again. He was bring this girl home. _I can't remember if I left my room a mess. I hope it's not too embarrassing. At least the beds made. _He swallowed hard, his mouth dry. He released her shoulders and took back her hand as he motioned towards the little red house his mother and father had made into a home. "This is it. My dad's gone over to the Clearwater's with Charlie. And… I don't know where my sister is tonight?" The couple entered the dark house. Jacob dropped her hand as he moved quietly though the darkness. Renesme paused in the doorway removing her jacket as a lamp next to the couch switched on, illuminating the room.

The house was simply furnished with an earthy, natural feel. On the walls hung some traditional weavings and wood carvings. The mantle was scattered with photos in frames. Renesme made a mental note to herself to inspect the pictures before she left. The house was tidy and clean, yet still with a much lived-in feel to it. Jake took her by the hand as he led her through the hall past the dine-in kitchen. "This is my room," He paused before he opened the door. "Sorry if it's messy." He walked into his bedroom flicking on the light as she followed behind. It was a small room, the bed sat predominantly in the centre. Her eyes scanned across his private space, directly to her left was a desk littered with papers and a few dirty dishes. A wardrobe with draws spilling over with clothes sat along the right wall. The far wall had a window with navy blue curtains with a poster of Bruce Lee on one side and a Native American style painting of wolves howling on a snowy outcrop on the other. She entered the room and the door half swung shut behind her. Jake walked over to his bedside table, searching for her gift. "Sit if you want." He pointed to the bed. She unwound her bag from across her torso and placed it on the bed as she plopped down. "It's not messy at all." she assured, her eyes scanning around, landing on the print on the back of his door. She let out a laugh as she saw the cliché poster. "Nice! You're a tennis fan hey? What is it with guys and Anna Kournikova?"

He stood bolt upright and rushed over to the door, tearing the poster down. "I'm sorry. I can't believe you saw that."

"Jake don't worry! It's pretty normal. Even I have to admit, she does have an amazing body." She stood taking the rumpled paper from his hands. "Don't pull it down on my account." She smoothed out the creases and attempted to tack it back up on the door." Jake watched as she reached up, pressing the corners. The gracefulness of her long arms evident through the form fitting scoop necked long sleeve tee she wore. It was an emerald green shirt, Jacob though about how nice it looked against her skin and hair, he'd seen that green before, it was the same green as her eyes. He couldn't stop staring as her flat tummy and full breast as she stretched towards the door. Her backside was squeezed into a pair of black jeans. He appreciated her beauty as he sat down on to his bed. "What can I say? I like the athletic type." The hidden meaning in his words not concealed at all. She walked back to the bed sitting down next to him, oblivious to his overture. Their knees were touching. "Speaking of athletic. I want to give you your Christmas present."

She turned to shuffle through her bag handing him a humbly wrapped gift in brown paper with a gold ribbon around it. "Here." She whispered. "Merry Christmas, even if it is a week late." He carefully unwrapped the paper. Inside he found a gift card for a fuel station, a homemade CD and a grey sweat shirt with a big purple W and the words Washington across the front. "The weekend of the 14th I have an invitational meet in Seattle. I thought you might like to come up for the weekend. Watch me compete on the Friday night and the Saturday. Then we can spend Sunday together." She held up the gift card and noted a flash of heat in his eyes. "This is for gas to get you there. And this is for you to listen to on the way. So I can show you some of the music _I_ like." She shrugged opening and then closing the CD case. Next she held up the pullover against her chest "and this is for you to wear when you cheer us on. GO TEAM!" she mockingly punched the air. He laughed as he took the hoodie from her, removing his own jacket he pulled the sweater over his head. "It fits well. Thanks. Can I play the CD now?" he asked excited, reaching over to pick it up off the bed.

"No!" she cringed, "I'm too embarrassed. You might laugh at some of them, I have some pretty old-school tastes. I don't want to hear if you laugh." She burbled, combing her hands through her hair, twisting a curl around her fingers. "I loved all the songs you put on my CD by the way."

Jake looked at her perplexed. "What CD?"

Ness shook her head. "The classical CD you made me. Didn't you get Bella to leave it on my bed?"

Jacob was slowly shaking his head back and forth. "I have never made a burnt CD in my life." A cold shiver spread through her. "I wonder who did then. That's weird."

"Bella probably did put it there. Maybe Edward made it or something." He said, suggesting the obvious alternative. She nodded, agreeing. "Yeah. If anyone knows classical music it's the Piano Man Ed."

They sat in companionable silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Renesme began thinking about the invitation she had just given him and started to worry. Was it was too forward? What was that look about? Did he even want to see her again? He seemed to be comfortable with her now, but she didn't want to presume. "So, you'll come to Seattle that weekend?" Jake looked over to her, a cheeky glint in his eye. He tucked his lips between his teeth trying to supress a smile. "What? She asked.

"That's a special weekend." He said, his tongue stretched to his back teeth, making his smile sexy as hell. "Do you know why?" She just looked at him with brows raised, she had no idea what he was talking about. "I don't know. It's the Seattle Indoor Invitational?" she guessed lamely. He laughed bouncing a little on the mattress edge, enjoying his little game. "No, I mean it's a special weekend for _me." _Ness just sat on the side of his bed, shaking her head in blankness. "That's my birthday!" he announced in a flourish.

"What? On the 14th?" she asked, he nodded, "Jake, I can't ask you to leave your family on your birthday. You can come another time. It's ok." She offered, wishing she'd known that little titbit of information in advance.

"What? No!" he said, his head shaking. "Of course I want to come. I'll expect cake though." he made a grunt as if he hated the look of his bedroom. "As if I'd stay here in sleepy hollow rather than see you in the _big city_." his smile broad, his eyes bright in the artificial light of his room.

"What type of cake do you like?"

"Chocolate."

"No. I can't do chocolate, I'm giving it up as motivation to do well this season."

"Really? Does that work?

"I don't know? Ive never done it before. Coach has us all doing it."

"Well then, in that case." He reached up and wound his fingers through her hair. The mood in the room shifting palpably. "How about that red velvet cake everyone talks about. I'd like to try that." She swallowed hard, her feeling of him touching her hair sent shivers over her. Man… she had it bad. "Red velvet. Leave it with me." She squeaked as he continued to feel the soft silk texture of her curls.

"Can I do something?" he asked, separating a long lock of her hair and leaning into her. He brought the ringlet to his nose and inhaling deeply. She watched as his chest expanded, filling himself with her fragrance. The gesture sent another warm little shiver through her. "What _is_ that smell?" he asked, as he brought his hand to her face, cupping her cheek with his fingers. "I haven't been able to get that smell out of my head for weeks. It's really nice." She looked into his eyes, her eyes darting back and forth between his. "It's probably the lavender Shampoo I use. My home town is famous for its lavender farms."

"I officially like lavender." He said as he leant in to kiss her on the lips.

His mouth moulded around hers as he pulled her in closer. She opened her mouth and kissed him back. Her arms draped over his wide shoulders as his hand wondered down her side settling into her waist. They sat siting side by side on his bed for several minutes, lips and tongues winding into one. They came up for air with arms intertwined. Their foreheads resting on each other's. She closed her eyes as she listened to his breathing, the small rumble in his chest sent shivers through her. She wanted to be with him so badly, but she needed to know if he really was free to return the affection. . "Sorry to break the mood, but. I have to be sure." She looked up to him, the Question in her eyes. He knew what she was asking nonetheless. "Renesme, I told her it was over that day on the beach. I wish you'd waited for me to come back to the fire. She wasn't home that morning, I couldn't find her before then, I did it as soon as I saw her. I know what I might have looked like, but you have to believe me. There's no games. I'm not playing you. From now on it's just you and me. If, if that's' what you want." He added hesitantly.

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah, that's what I want." A flush of relief washed over both of them. "So, can I call you my girlfriend now?" She laughed at his forwardness, "Yes, if you want." she said shyly. "You can even put it on Facebook if you like.l" she mocked, though secretly thrilled. "Can I give my_ girlfriend_ her Christmas present?" he asked as he turned away, reaching for the package behind him. It was wrapped in bright paper with little Christmas trees all over it. The tape haphazardly stuck across the seams. He gave the small bundle to her and she opened the paper and found two items, one a small wooden carving of a bird. "It's a robin" he explained as she felt the smoothness of the wood. She brought it closer to her face and inspected the detail of the feathers, she turned it round in her hands and saw the initials 'J.B.' engraved on the underside. "You made this?" she asked surprised, tears welling in her eyes. He nodded his assent. "Do you like it?" he asked, apprehension in his voice. He had spent the majority of this past week creating the little bird for her. "Do I like it? Do I like it? Jake, I love it. You really made this yourself?" She couldn't stop looking at it. "This is amazing. You made me a Robin!" She held the little figurine in her hand, closing her fingers around it, bringing it to her chest. "Thank you. It's perfect."

"Don't forget the other thing" he said as he reached into the wrapping paper grabbing it out. "Here," he reached for her hand bring her arm to him as he tied a woven band around her wrist. She inspected the band. It was made of brown leather with red and cream threads woven with intricate patterns of chevrons and star burst. There was a smoothed creamy bead in the centre that she ran her hands over. "It's whale bone." He explained as she circled the bead with her finger and thumb. "Did you make this too?" she asked incredulously. He shrugged, attempting to down play his skills, "I caved the bone and did some of the weaving. I got my sister to help me with it. She's good at that stuff, my mum taught my sisters. I made a matching one for myself too." He added, as he pulled it out from behind him. He placed his band around his wrist resting his arm on her leg. She tied the chord into a tight knot, then took his hand in hers, holding up both their arms. She pressed her forearm to his so that the bands were aligned. "We match." he said. It seemed as though a very long woven cord was interlaced in a figure of eight pattern, binding them together. "I like that." she countered. "I love my gifts. Thank you Jake." She kissed him sweetly, tucking her head in to the nook of his shoulder her arm winding around him.

"Merry Christmas Ness." They sat embraced in Jacobs bedroom until the clock in the lounge chimed, alerting them to the time. "Wow, it's already eleven, we'd better get back, we've missed most of the party." As they stood unfolding themselves from each other Jake pulled Renesme in by her waist. Their bodies pressing against one another and he kissed her again, hot and warm his mouth pressing down on her. She moaned into his mouth as she felt the evidence of his excitement pressing into her hip. He angled his hips away from her creating a small space between. Ren ran her hands over the rolling muscles of his back and pulled his pelvis back in against her. "Another time," she whispered into his mouth as she then allowed the contact to be broken. He smiled, as he helped her into her jacket, his hands brushed over her neck as he lifted her hair of her shoulders. "A guy could get used to this." He turned her around and did up the buttons on her front, the back of his knuckles brushing over her breasts through the material. She felt her skin scorch wherever he touched her even through the fabric. "A girl could get used to this too."

They walked arm in arm back to the party, making idle chatter on the way. The night had turned decidedly colder, puffs of white smoke emanated from their heated breath. The smell of snow lingered in the air. Only quiet music could be heard from the house now, sounds of laughter and hollering was what was mostly heard. They stepped up onto the porch and Ness saw there discarded drinks on the sill where they had left them. "Do you think there's anything around that I can add in this?" she asked holding up her half empty juice bottle and handing him his can. "Um?" he said looking around the table next to them, it was littered with bottles and cans. "Are you sure? Don't you have to be like, healthy or something? You don't have to drink you know." He said, a worried frown starting across his brow. She spotted an almost empty bottle of coconut rum and picked it up. "This should taste good." she said to her self poring the clear liquid into the plastic bottle. "It's New Years Eve Jake, I have to let loose sometimes. Even if it is just once a year." she mollified, lifting her bottle up to his and clinking the plastic o the aluminium. "Cheers!" she said as she took a sip.

They entered the main living area of the house to find the group of teenagers sitting around the lounge, arms and legs hanging over the couch, couples sitting comfortably in each other arms. Shots of sprits were lined up on the coffee table. Jake saw Bella and Edward relaxing together in the loveseat and he pulled Renesme along to sit at their feet.

"Hey Jake, you can get on this one too. I never, ever stole the vanilla essence from my mum's pantry to drink" said Quill. Exchanging a knowing look with his friend Jacob picked up one of the shot glasses and threw it back. So did Quill and also another native boy Renesme hadn't met yet. The trio laughing together. Jake leaned into Renesme's ear, point in to the boy she didn't know. "That's my best friend Embry. I'll introduce you guys properly later on."

"I've got a good one" called Bella, her voice slurred by the alcohol she'd already consumed. "I've never ever, ever, ever been caught making out in the back seat of a car." She lighted as she took two shots off the table handing one to Edward, clinking their glasses together and drinking, along with several other people in the room. Renesme's eyes perused the faces, the bile rising in her throat as she saw the familiar pretty face of Aponi sitting like a queen. Her feet resting on the boy she had met earlier, Paul. Their eyes met across the room and the look Aponi gave her sent a prickle over her spine. She glance over at Jacob, but he seemed to have not yet seen his former girlfriend. Renesme took Jacobs beer and emptied what was left of it. A few more 'never ever's' went around as Renesme watched the girl. Aponi looked at Ness, a spiteful smirk developed on her face. She leaned in filling up all the now empty shot glasses. Her low cut top fell forward giving every one opposite, including Jake, her an eyeful of her perky tits.

She sat back down and shot a nasty look at Renesme. "I never ever, gave or got, a blow job in the back seat of a car." She looked straight at Jacob as she licked her tongue into the clear liquid. "Or the front seat." there was drunken laughter as several of the boys and a few of the girls drank. Renesme look up at Jacob to see him glaring at Aponi with what could almost be described as hatred. His teeth were working, the muscles in his jaw undulating up and down. "What Jakie, you're not gunna drink to that, I know I did." The double meaning not lost in Renesme. "What? Your new little grille's not worldly enough for this game, she hasn't had a single drink yet."

"Fuck off Aponi, who invited you anyway." He spat at her. He leaned into Renesme puling her closer to him. "Sorry you had to hear that, it's not true - for the record. She's been giving me a hard time ever since I broke up with her and I think now she's seen me with you, she's gunna ramp it up a notch."

"Don't worry, two can play at that game, just I won't play dirty… much." She replied, looking up at him through her lashes. Raising her voice so to be heard Renesme chimed in. "I've got a few. Um, I've never ever been in a cat fight." She lifter her class as if the cheer Aponi and drank. Jake sniggered under his breath giving her a slight pat on the backside. "I've never ever been in a fight were I've broken someone's nose." She threw back another shot. "Or jaw." She added as she threw back a third one. The threat of violence thinly veiled. Renesme could feel the effect of the vodka as it burned her throat and settled into her stomach. It worked quickly, giving her the mettle to continue her little verbal rampage. _I how dare she talk to Jake like that. He's mine bitch. Get it. You have no idea what my life has been like. Don't you dare think you can tempt him away with your tiny boobs either._

She put her hand up interrupting the next person. He glared at Aponi, her head buzzing. "I never ever had to go to hospital for a heroin overdose." She drank again… adding "at the age of ten" her fingers spastic as she attempted some type of gangster symbol. Bella leaned over her chair reaching down to place a hand on Renesme's shoulder. "Red Robin" she hushed, "that's enough." Renesme shook off the hand, she was annoyed and she wanted to vent her anger at the audacious girl. Renesme was always so tightly wound, so controlled that, as soon as the tension was released from the rubber band of her alter ego, it recoiled back with a sharp sting. By now, everyone in the room was aware of the play between the two girls. People were looking down, not wanting to make eye contact, the uncomfortable tension was palpable. Aponi continued to look at Renesme with as if she wasn't worthy of breathing the same air as her. Inside, Renesme didn't really think she was either.

Ness lined up three more shots in front of her. "I never ever had a drug dealer as a dad." She drank. "Or, how about… I never ever had a drug addict as a mum." She shook her head tipping back another vodka. "Even better, a dad who was beaten to death while in jail for dealing drugs." Renesme kneeled over to the low table, her hands behind her back as she placed her mouth around the shot glass. She lifted it only with her lips, tipping the liquid down her throat.

Jacob was astonished to hear Renesme's outburst, she had always been so reserved and quiet. Jacob took the glass from her mouth. "Ness, stop." He stood up, pulling her up with him. "Come on babe." He prompted as he led her away from the circle through to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" he asked, an concerned yet exasperated tone in his voice. "That was full on. I thought you didn't tell people about you childhood?"

She sat up on to the counter, her face in her hands, her head was swimming, she couldn't think straight. Remorse and humiliation washing over her. "Oh, I don't" she cried. "I've made such a fucking fool of myself. Stupid insecurities" she looked up at Jacob. He was searching in the cupboard for a glass, he filled it with water and handed it to Renesme. She took a sip and felt her stoma churn. "Oh Jake, I feel sick." She hopped down off the bench, stumbling.

Jacob held her firmly by the waist as he directed her to the bathroom just as she emptied the content of her stomach in to the bowl. "It's better you're getting it out. You just had seven hard shots in less than twenty minutes, you know?" He held her hair back as she continued to retch. When she was done, she crawled over to the basin and washed her face. She used her finger and some toothpaste to Clayton's brush her teeth. She slid down the vanity, her backside smacking on the floor. "Better?" he asked scooting over to sit next to her on the cool tiles.

"A little. It might take some time for my pride and reputation to recover though." She moaned, recalling all that she had said. "I don't know what got in to me?"

"Aponi, she brings out the worst in people. And seven vodkas will make the most hardened alcoholics a little mouthy." They both laughed at his attempt to lighten the situation. She leaned her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her arm. "Some first date hey?" she added rhetorically.

They sat in the bathroom as they heard the partiers begin the count down for the New Year. As the calls and cheers ran out through the night, Jacob and Renesme shared a quiet kiss. "Happy new year" he said. "Bonne Annèe. I think this year is defiantly going to be a good one." She reflected leaning in for a longer more passionate kiss. "With you Ness, every day is going to be better that the next." They rubbed noses and then he kissed her with lust and desire, pouring his soul into the embrace. They were abruptly interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come on you love birds." Came a call from the half ajar door. "I think you've had enough public displays for one night." Embry stuck his head through the door. "Hey, that was some speech you gave back there. Remind me to never piss _you_ off, eh?" Renesme felt her cheeks burn with mortification. Jake stood up and waked to the door shaking his friends hand. "Happy new year you horses ass. I want you to meet Renesme. Properly."

"Hi," she waved as she used the toilet to hoist herself to standing. Still swaying on her feet she grabbed at Jacob for support. "I'm so sorry about all that." she motioned to the main room. "I really don't normally drink. And I'm definably not that much of a bitch. I'm so embarrassed. What a first impression to make."

"Don't worry about it. It was good to see Aponi get beaten at her own game for once." He turned to look at Jake, "Will you get out of here though, I dying for a piss."

"Alright, alright. We're going." The couple made their way back out. The crowd was clearing a space around the lounges making the dance floor larger. The music was up now. Throngs of people were bouncing to the techno beat of Avichii. Couples were hidden in the dark corners making out.

Ness was scanning the room half of her looking for Jakes ex in order to finish what she'd started, the other, the more dominant ,sober side was hoping to avoid a confrontation with Aopni altoghter. she'd neither have bothered, Api was no where in sight.

Renesme saw Edward helping Bella with her coat as she approached them. "You guys leaving?" she asked. Bella turned to her friend. "Are you alright? You really shouldn't alcohol Ren." She held her friend by the shoulders looking her straight. "I never knew you had drugs. I thought you hated the stuff?" Jacob came to Renesme's side folding a protective arm around her.

"It wasn't on purpose Bella. If you heard, I was ten. I had seen my parents using enough times. I _ate_ the stuff. It was foul. Thankfully, I had made my way outside the house before I collapsed, otherwise, I doubt anyone would have found me. My mother was too _high_ to have noticed." A bitterness entered her voice. She looked down at the scuff marks on her worn boots. They were her favourites. "That was the last time I saw mum actually. I went to live with Grand-mere Sophie after that. Mum died only a few months later... So yeah, I do hate the stuff." She ran her fingers through her hair, ruffling it up. "Agh, I don't want to talk about this now."

"Ok. If you want to come home with us we're leaving now." Bella said. Renesme felt Jacobs's warm strong arm holding her close. She leaned into his support, turning to him she asked. "Can I crash with you tonight?" he wound his other arm around her. Her head sinking into his chest. "Of course. You want to go home now?" she nodded her affirmative as she pressed her palms into his abs.

"Ok." Bella broke in, kissing them both on the cheek. "Happy new year. See you tomorrow" she smiled as she left.

Renesme and Jacob walked back to the Black house along the freezing, deserted streets of La Push. The snow that had threatened earlier began to lightly tumble down around them. The wind was quiet but the cold was still gripping, the couple drawing closer for warmth. Renesme staggered while Jacob half carried her. As they entered the warmth of the house, the smell of home enveloped the girl. She was tired, so tired. Tired from the long day. Tired from the effects of the alcohol and the cold. Tired of struggling with her inner-demons. Tired of being alone.

Even in her intoxicated state she wondered if Jacob expected more from her as they entered his room. She sat down onto his soft bed and began to unzip her boots. She removed her socks and began to massage the warmth back into them. Jacob rummaged in his draws pulling out a t-shirt and cotton boxer shorts. He brought them up to his nose, smelling them. "They're clean if you want to wear them." he offered as he passed the bundle to her. "I'll let you get changed. I'll be back in a minute." He said as he exited, closing the door behind him. She shed her clothes, leaving them on the floor where they fell and threw on Jacobs's shirt and shorts. The room was spinning and she had to brace her legs on the end of the bed to stop from falling over. She caught her reflection in his wardrobe mirror, her mascara had run and her hair was frizzing from the melted snow, Jakes clothes swam on her, she rolled the sleeves up and crawled into the bed. There was a soft knock on the door "You decent?"

"Yeah." she called back. He entered balancing two big glasses of water and an Aspirin in his hand. He walked around to the other side of the bed, placing the glasses on the side table. The other glass he held out to her. "My sisters always swear-by Aspirin before you go to bed. I don't know if it works, but it can't hurt." She took the tablet and glass from him. She threw the tablet into her mouth and greedily drank the cool fresh water down. He pointed to the second glass, "This is if you wake up thirsty in the night."

He crawled over her to search under the other pillow, reaching behind the bed he pulled out a white t-shirt. He sat on the edge of the mattress and pulled his shirt off from the back the way men do. Renesme couldn't help but stare at his sculpted muscles. They were the muscles of everyday hard work, not manufactured in a gym. He pulled his long jet black hair out from its tie as it sat across his broad shoulders. She sat up and crawled over to him kneeling on the bed she pressed her body against his back. She scooped his hair away and kissed him behind the ear. He half turned and ran his hand up her thigh. She leaned over him from behind and ran her hands over his biceps and down his chest. "Do you realise how fucking beautiful you are?" she purred, a huskiness in her throat. "Can I show you?" She hummed, she ran her tongue over her dry lips. He pulled her around so she was sitting in his lap. He kissed her deeply tasting the alcohol still on her breath. She responded by running her hands through his hair, her hips were rolling, her backside pressing into his crouch. Jacob broke the kiss. "You are an amazing woman. Do you know that?" he continued not waiting for a reply. He half carried her to the pillow, "But you are amazingly drunk, and I won't let you do something you might regret in the morning." and he pulled the covers over them both. "Let's just sleep."

In a deep, back corner of her mind, the part that was still sober, she felt the immediate relief of his refusal. She knew she wasn't quite ready to take her fledgling relationship with Jake to that level yet. And when she did, she want to be able to remember it the next day. She snuggled up to him, running her smooth leg up and down his. Her fingers drifting up and down his abs. "Yeah, you want to sleep with me alright!" she teased, he seized her drifting hand as it hovered at his waistband. "Ness." he warned, his voice deep.

"I know, I know. I'm just teasing" she giggle in a silly way. "I like this anyway." She rested her head on that delicious hollow where his chest met his arms. Her hand fanned across his chest, her fingers skimming long his collarbone. He wound his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Night my little birdy."

"Goodnight Jake. Happy new year." She closed her eyes, marvelling at the feel of his muscles under her hands. It was only minutes later that Jacob heard Renesme's breath relax into the regular flow of slumber. He allowed himself to run his hand along her side. He felt the curve of her hips and the dip of her waist. His hand slowly slipped upwards and he stroked the swell of the side of her breast. He resisted the urge to reach his hand around to feel the fullness of her in his hand. Instead, his hand brushed over the softness of her cheek. He closed his eyes and drifted into a sleep submerged with dreams of a beautiful woman who transformed into a bird, soaring on the thermals of a mountain.

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**Finally! Their together. It's a slow start. But things ****_will_**** heat up. (Eventually) Thank you for all the great reviews. They really do make my day... and they keep me motivated to keep on writing and posting new chapters.**

**I hope this clears up some more of Nessie's issues too! I know some of you were trying to figure her out.**

**I thought Id better add ****I don't condone under age drinking****. Just remember that here in Australia, the drinking age is 18. So it's perfectly legal (and very common) to consume alcohol at a NYE partly! Just never in excess and not in response to a boyfriends slutty ex. ha :-)**

**Cheers M**


	14. Chapter 14 First impressions

**This is just a little half chapter- its kind of like a consolidation of the previous one. But it didn't really belong in the bedroom so it gets its own update.**

** It might tide you over for a few days while I struggle with my broken home internet. Cheers!******

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Renesme woke the next morning feeling like she had a mouthful of desert sand. Her head ached and so too did her stomach. She opened her eyes to the light that was filtering in through the frosted window. Her gaze drifted to the night stand where the large glass of water sat. She felt Jacobs's warm, strong arm encompassing her. She was using his other arm as a pillow. The memory of that same scenario, all those weeks back in her dorm room, flashed into her mind. A delicate smile crept onto her features. No startled wake up onto the cold floor this time. In his arms is where she belonged.

Ren loathed to move away from him, but the appeal of the crystal liquid was strong. She slinked over to the side of the bed, propping herself up on one elbow and drank greedily.

"Drunk it all and left no friendly drop for me?" chuckled his voice from behind her. His arm winding around her as he shifted closer. She could feel his chest pressing into her back, his warm breath against her neck. "Good morning beautiful." he blew into her ear. She smiled, tilting her head back enjoying the sensation as he softly kissed down her neck and over her collar bone. His feathery light kiss igniting her from within. "Morning to you too." She tuned so that her mouth could meet his. Landing them softly into his. The turning movement however, was enough to send a wave of queasiness through her, her head spinning. "Agh!" she groaned, levering herself to sit on the side of the bed. "I feel like shit!" she whimpered as she leaned her elbows on her thighs and pressed her face into her palms. He rubbed comforting circles on her back.

"You want some coffee?" he moved to head to the kitchen, pulling on a t-shirt as he went.

"Hang on," she called quietly. "I'll come with you. Do you think you have some juice?" she stood and rubbed her thumb and for finger on her temples. "And another Aspirin."

The couple sat side-by-side, around the small table, their fingers intertwined, and Renesme's legs resting on Jakes as he ran his free hand up and down her calves. They were broken from their private world when Billy wheeled himself into the kitchen. "Renesme!" he gleamed, a grin flashing across his weathered and astute face. Father and son shared a look that Renesme pretended she had missed. "Happy new year Billy."

"Jake mentioned you'd be staying with Bella over the break. It's nice to see you again."

"Thank you, did you have a nice Christmas?"

"It was very good, thank you, especially with Rachael home."

All faces turned to the hall way as a loud voice called from the bathroom. "That's right old man, I make all family events better. You both know you've been wasting away in this bachelor pad."

A beautiful Indian princess shuffled out to the kitchen, flannel PJ's with little flowers on them. Her hair cut in asymmetric hewed lengths, hung over her shoulders. Her skin was the same russet tan as Jakes. Their similarities unmistakable, only distinguished by the feminine line of her jaw and nose, her shaped, high arched brow and the full pink pout of her lips.

She walked past her brother shoving him as she made a B-line to the coffee. "Aren't you going to introduce me Jake?" she turned clutching her mug as she sat at the table. Her leg folded under her, she sipped on her brew, a cheeky glint in her eye. "I feel like I know you so well. Jake never stopped prattling on about your visit all week." Jake cringed willing his sister to shut up. "And we all got an in-depth family history last night at Quill's." Renesme's heart dropped. Her jaw ajar as her face burned a crimson heat.

Anger rose in Jacob. "Rachel!" he yelled "Why would that be the first this you say to her this morning? You think it wasn't fucking embarrassing enough for Renesme?" his arm gesturing to Renesme.

"Language Jacob!" Billy chided.

"Sorry dad. But Aponi was a real bitch at the party and Renesme had a bit too much to drink and… well… s-some things were… said." He stumbled his words, not wanting to compound the problem.

" Chill Jacobina, it was hilarious!" Rachael laughed. She cut her self-off short, suddenly turning to Renesme, her hand out front gesturing in a palm-up apology. "Not your shitty childhood." She clarified. "I mean that slut Aponi's face." She rolled her eyes to the celling tilting her head back. "That girl has needed a bitch slap for quite some time. Did you see her all over Paul? I mean, _we_ were sitting on the couch, getting to know each other better, and she squirmed her way over and practically lies all over him." Jealous distaste oozing from her. "After you said… all that stuff, she and her stupid possie sulked off onto the porch. I don't even know if they stayed for the countdown. It was awesome!"

Renesme rested her elbow on the table and hid her eyes under her hand. "It was embarrassing, that's what it was."

Jacob embraced Renesme rubbing up and down her arm. "Don't worry about it Ness, I'm sure most of the guys were too drunk to remember it anyway." She looked up at him, scepticism etched across her face. "Well they better not say anything about it to you, or they'll cop it." he ruffled. "You too Rach." He pointed a warning finger at his sibling.

"By the way, Renesme, this is my big mouth, big sister Rachel." The two girls met eyes across the table laughing at Jacobs's protectiveness. "Hi" Ren responded tucking a stray curl behind her ear, she had a vague recollection of seeing the Beautiful girl at the party but Ness was only glaring at one other girl last night and it hadn't been Jacobs sister.

Rachel nodded in reply, turning to Jake, a sly smirk on her face. "So you two finally a thing? Bella said you haven't stopped pining over her for months."

Jake threw a napkin at her. "Shut it, bobble head." He tuned to look are Renesme. "Yes, I guess were a_ thing_. At least, it will be as soon as I update my Facebook status." Renesme laughed at their private joke. Rachael smiled, tapping Renesme on her hand. "Welcome to the family sis!"

Jake and Renesme spent the next six days together. Only separating at night when Renesme would regretfully say goodnight as he dropped her back at the Swan's home. They spent the days searching the local Junk yards for a car's that Jake could fix up for her. She had asked for his help in finding her a reliable car to buy. Jacob had insisted on him making it a project for him to piece back together a car for her. She would pay for the shell and other parts, and he would do the re-build as a gift. She tried to get him to accept some form of payment for labour and time but Jake wasn't having any of it. They settled on a aqua blue/green 1963 Ford Falcon. Jake was excited to start working on it straight away.

They spend days in his garage, her lying on the tattered couch, him, bent over into the engine bay. Some days, not much work was done on the car, she would be lying on the couch and he would be draped across her. Their bodies pressed together as they shared passionate kisses, tongues intertwined. Desperate to share time with one another, the unspoken heart break of Renesme's departure looming over them.

On her last day on La Push the two were lying in Jakes room. Side by side on his bed string at the celling. Heads and hands touching. "I wish I didn't have to go." She sighed. "Your dad won't mind if you drive up on your birthday to watch the invitational?" she asked.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it. I can't wait to see you in those tiny outfits you track girls wear." She lovingly slapped his hand. "It's freezing out there Jake, even in an indoor stadium we still have long leg-ins on."

"Well, it'll still be good to see you run. And to just _see_ you." He exhaled, squeezing her hand he brought it up to his lips, kissing the soft skin on the back of her hand. "It's going to be long two weeks."

"I know." she agreed. They rolled and the duo lay face to face gazing into each other souls for several minutes until Jake suddenly turned, kneeling over her, bouncing on the bed like a puppy. "Oh, I forgot to tell you what my surprise was." She turned towards him so that she was lying under him. Their bodies only inches apart. His breath warm on her lips.

"That's right! I forgot. What is it? Let me guess. Your madly in love with me and can't live without me." She teased. He looked into her eyes with the love he knew they shared but hadn't yet said out loud.

"No. Well, of course that's true, but that's no surprise. I'd been thinking about something you said to me. That night you tortured me with running the stairs." she laughed at the memory, "You said something like, 'if you want something you have to go and get it, you can't let life pass you by' and it got me thinking. What do I want to do? You know? I can't just bum around and live off my dad forever. Then it hit me, I need to fix cars. That's what I love. So I've enrolled in an automotive tech course, at Shoreline community college in Seattle." He sat back on her thighs as she sat up, excited. "Really Jake! That's great! We'll be studying in the same city! Wait. Where are you going to live?"

"Seattle." He smiled, his eyes gleaming with the knowledge. "Before Christmas, Rachel was telling us all about this amazing Internship she wants to get with this big I.T. Company just out side of Seattle. She finishes college in June and she's want to get a place there to live. We're gunna get a place together." He smiled, shrugging. Attempting to down play the significance this news had. She screamed, kneeling upright forcing him to fall back on the mattress. "You're really moving to Seattle?" He happily nodded his accord. "Not until June or even July though." She simply smiled, her face lit up. He looked into her eyes relishing the joy that radiated from within them. He sat up next to her, his hands steady on her hips. "You're moving to Seattle!" she cried as her lips crashed down on his.


	15. Chapter 15 Eight point two seconds

** So, things are heating up a bit between our two lovebirds. Be for warned, there is a Lemon towards the end of this chapter.**

**There are also a few lines of French and French Créole. I'll put the translations at the end. **

**Thankyou to my sister/cuz for her French proof reading. And I am so sorry if there are any Creole speaking folks reading this and I have completely butchered your language. It's pretty hard to find a French creole speaker in Brisbane Australia. So Google translate was the best I could do!**

**Lets watch Ness do her thing shall we!**

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Renesme and Bella returned to start the Spring Term. Ness had a new lease on life. She trained for the upcoming meet every spare minute she had. She counted down the days until Jake's visit.

Three weeks after New Year, Jake made the drive to Seattle to see his girlfriend. Donned on his new favourite sweater, he arrived at the university campus as the sun was setting and made his way to the indoor track. Renesme had emailed him a map with detailed instructions. She didn't want him getting lost again and risk some other girl crashing into him. By the time he entered the building the meet was already underway. He snaked his way through the crowd to the front of the stand. Looking over the groups of athletes' stretching and warming up, he saw the familiar glint of fire in the hair he loved so much. He watched as she sat stretching in her track suit. Other athletes coming and going, many stopping to talk briefly. Jake felt the sting of envy as he saw the packs of males who approached her, stoping to talk. Many resting their hands on her shoulder or back.

Jake saw how beautiful she looked, her sincerity and goodness combined with her physical beauty making her so desirable. _That's my girlfriend. _ _Hands off. _He smiled as he saw how she expertly dodged the hands. She stood removing her jacket and sweat pants, revealing the formfitting university tank top and skin tight black lyrca beneath. She gathered up her belongings, stuffing them into her bag, she made her way over to the area near the start line.

Jake waved his arms in big circles attempting to get her attention. Her eyes fond him, her face lifting to a giant smile as she ran over to him at the fence. "Jake, you're here!" she squealed as she neared.

"I'm here!" he called as he reached over the rail. She dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around his neck. Their lips met in a hungry kiss, both staving for each other "Happy Birthday." She smiled as she continued to kiss him. His hands ran along her back and cupped down to her bottom. "Thank you. Is this my present?" he asked as he squeezed her backside. She giggled into his mouth, "Stop that. Do you know how many people are watching us?" He spanked her lightly on the ass. "I'm counting on it." He smirked. "I'm making sure these young pups know what's mine." His head gesturing to the group of sprinters gawking at them. She chortled, "Righty-o, enough marking your territory. I've got to get my spikes on, my heat's in 15 minutes."

She lowered herself onto the ground as she rummaged through her training bag. Her hands stopped, frozen inside the bag. Her head tilted to the side. "This is starting to freak me out now." She mumbled to herself. "What?" he asked "What's wrong?" She continued to search her bag, pulling most of the contents out. "This." She held up a Fluorescent-yellow plastic key. "This isn't mine. I have one like this but the thread broke the other day. I meant to get a new on one, but I never did. But look, there's one in here now." She looked up to Jake with worried eyes, "I keep getting… stuff. Like that CD! I asked Bella, she had nothing to do with it. How did it end up on my pillow? My pillow Jake!" She sat with her arms resting on her knees, her head bowed in worry.

"Ness, you have to race now. Don't worry about it right this instant. We'll deal with it after. Ok. I promise, we'll deal with it." She swiftly pulled on her spiked racing shoes. "Ok, I got to focus." She said as he stood up, then suddenly, she shook her body, her arms and hands flicking as if to rid herself of her fears. She chucked all her things back into the bag, zipping it up. "Will you look after this for me?" she asked as she heft it over the railing. He caught it easily and place it on the floor beneath him.

She stood up on to her tippy toes and reached up to kiss him. "You gunna watch me run?" she asked, somehow making the question seductive. "Babe, I can't take my eyes off you. I'll be watching, you can guarantee that." She unwound herself from him and stepped back a few. "I have to go and marshal." She pointed up towards the finishing line. "If you wait about twenty feet from the end you should still get a good view of the whole race and the finish."

Jake called as she backed away. "Ok, I'll see you down the end. Good luck." She blew him a kiss as she turned and made her way to her competitors.

He watched as the girls all ran the hurdles in the first two heats, Renesme's heat was third. He watched as she set up her starting blocks and ran a warm up through the first hurdle. She turned and set it back up, making her way back to wait for the start. He could see her searching the crowd for him, he waved to catch her eye and she blew him an other kiss. Soon, Jake could hear the whistle blow and the seven girls lined up. Behind his shoulder he could hear two older men talking.

"Lane four John, the red head. She's been training really well, she should time under 8.3. I've started to get her to focus her training. No more long jump or sprints." Jakes ears were concentrated on the conversation, he guessed the man talking was Renesme's coach. He quietly turned to look. A tall man in his fifties stood behind Jake. He sported a greying moustache and buzz cut, under his University of Washing polo was the remanets of what was once, a sporting physique. The other man was younger, tanned, he was wearing a dress shirt and tie. He looked important. "Does she train well?" Jake prickled at the way he spoke about Ness like she was a race horse. "Yeah, she keeps to herself, no boys, no parties, and good with her studies too. She's an orphan so no overbearing parents either." It sounded like they were negotiating her trade or something. _I didn't know they traded track and field the same as NFL?_ "If she performs tomorrow. I'll come and see how she goes on the MPSF's and then we'll talk."

Their attention was turned back to the race as they set on to their blocks. The starting gun went and Jake jumped not expecting the echo the indoor stadium provided. He watched with pride as Ness sprinted to the first hurdle, her leg stretched out in front of her as she flew over it, her foot snapping down so very fast, as she transitioned into the next run. Renesme pulled in front, by the last hurdle she was almost full set in front, she allowed herself to pull up slightly before the line, winning comfortable. It was all over in less than ten seconds.

Jake made his way to the gate past the finish line as Renesme stood, hands on hips catching her breath. She was staring up at the giant screen waiting for her time. After an eternal two minutes the names and times flashed on the screen. 1) Renesme Masen – Washington - 8.20. Jake had no Idea what if that was good, but hey, she'd won, so it had to be alright? Didn't it? He turned to watch as her mouth fell open, her hand covering her open lips. A look of disbelief washed across her face followed by such a joyous smile Jacob couldn't help by smile along. She turned seeking out Jake but was stopped by the man in the suit and her coach. She wrapped her arms around her coach as he paternally embraced her back. Jake could see introduction were being made and Ness shaking the suited man's hand before she ran over to the gate. "Eight twenty! Jake I can't believe I did that in a heat." She was jumping on the spot.

"So, I take it that's a good time?"

"Yes. Yes, it's totally a personal best. But more importantly it's totally on track for an awesome time on the _outdoor_ 100 hurdle. Like, good enough for the Pac 12's, even the NCAA's." She bit her lips, attempting to hold in her exuberance. Jake was shocked, he knew she was good, but he hadn't realised _how_ good. "So, are you headed to the Olympics next?" She looked up at him shaking her head, gushing, "No. That was just a heat, I have to do it again for the final tomorrow. And keep improving more over the session. There is a really big meet here next month, which will be a really important qualifier." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I have to calm down. I'm getting way ahead of myself, I just have to train for the Husky classic and the MPSF's". Then I can think about what's next." Jake opened the gate and as she stepped through he pulled her in closer pressing her to his chest. His hands coiling around the long braid she wore down her back.

They were interrupted by a stranger's voice, rolling with a Louisiana accent, he approached from behind Jake, a second tier of stadium seats and a railing separating them. "Nice run Renesme." Ness jerked her head up as Jake half turned to look behind him. She squirmed underneath the strangers gaze as his eyes raked overtly up and down her body. "Thanks Laurent." _So… _not_ a stranger then? _Jacob appraised the guy talking to his girlfriend. He was tall. Not as tall as him, but still tall. His shoulders were broad against the Huskies jersey he wore. A class ring decorating his left little finger. His dark skin highlighting his bright teeth. His hair in short, two inch dreads. _Great a football jock. How many guys does she know?_

"Mwen kwè ou pa dat?" he asked._ Great he speaks French too! _ Jake felt there was a hint of accusation in his tone even though he had no idea what he was saying. His insecurities forgotten as he kicked into 'protective boyfriend' mode.

"Je ne l'ai pas, mais maintenant je le fais." The set of her shoulders and the defensive tone in her voice assured Jake he was right in his assumption. This was not a pleasant conversation for her.

"Petèt ou bezwen yon ti jan nan creloe nan ou ak natif natal melanj la ?" She huffed at his comment. She was annoyed. Angry even. "Va te faire foutre Laurent!" She spat her words at him. Switching into English she added. "Don't you know it's rude to talk in another language in front of someone?" Distain rolling off her.

He shrugged, full of cocky self-assurance. "I wanted to have a private conversation with you."

"Well, you got one. So, now you can leave." Her eyes widening in a threat. Her hand flipping the air as if to flick a pesky fly away.

"Yeah, I'm done. I only came to see you with your legs apart anyway." He smirked as he turned away back to the exit. Shock forced a gush of air out of her mouth, incredulity silencing her.

Jake however was fuming. "Hey! LaDick! Don't talk to my girlfriend like that!" Jake made to climb up over the diving rail towards Laurent. His fits balled up, his right arm back ready to punch. Renesme placed a restraining hand on his arm. "Don't Jake. His a jerk. Just let him go."

"But..." Jake glared at Laurent as he turned around, walking out of the stands. He wanted to knock that smart ass grin right of La Cocks face.

"Please. I hate violence -when I'm sober. I get you want to thump his head in. I do. But, I'm used to it. You think I don't know half the football team only watch to see us girls in our two piece? It's disgusting. But, it is, what it is." She heaved a sigh. "Laurent has taken a certain… to me lately."

Jake relaxed his arms turning back around to Ness. "Is that why he likes you? Cause he can speak French to you?"

"Maybe. I don't know. And he doesn't speak _French. I_ speak French." She stated with an air of pride. "_He_ speaks dirty French-Creole." Her distaste obvious. She waved her arm in dismissal. "Who cares about him anyway? You came to Seattle to visit me_._ So, eyes on _me_." She ordered as she came up on to her tippy toes, looking into Jakes eyes puckering up for a quick peck. Satisfied his attention was firmly back to her she giggled, linking her hand with his. "La Dick. That was a good one. I think I'll use it next time he tries to use me as a commodity to be owned or something."

"Speaking of commodities, I think your coach was trying to sell you off to that other guy."

She looked curiously over her shoulder. "That guy, is my meal ticket." She explained, sitting down to take off her special shoes. "He's a sponsorship scout for Nike. If I can do well this season I might get sponsored. They pay for your gear, your shoes, they even help with transport cost to the different meets all across the west coast. He is a very important person to impress." Her mood lifted. The unpleasant exchange forgotten.

"Well, you certainly impressed me little Red."

"Tonight, I impressed myself." She boasted as she stood bulling on her track pants and kissed her gorgeous First Nations boyfriend. Life was going exceptionally well for Renesme Masen.

- o ~ O * O ~ o -

Jake and Ness shared a quiet meal together in the Rec room of Ness and Bella's dorm building. The couple lounged together on beanbags on the floor. Chatting as the TV hummed quietly in the background. He was playing with her hair, raking it through his fingers as she leaned back against his chest. "I didn't tell you. I got that job at Eagle garage. Just Mondays and Tuesdays. I'm sure all I'll be doing is answering phones and sorting out parts. But it'll help pay the bills and it should be good experience. I start on Monday."

She listened as she felt the rumble of his chest as it vibrated when he spoke. "Well done babe." She leaned her head back as her arms reached behind her, pulling his head down for a kiss. If this is what love was? Then she was hooked.

Renesme wanted to turn in early, so they made their way up to the dorm. "I haven't given you your birthday present yet" she said as they walked hand in hand up the stairs. Jake squeezed her hand, "You didn't have to get me anything Ness. Being here with you is all I want anyway." She nudged against him as he leaned in and kissed her temple. "Well, I got you something anyway."

As he followed her into her room she was suddenly overcome with apprehension. _Is he expecting his present to be sex? Am I ready to have sex? Yes. But I really need to be fit for tomorrow. What if it hurts still tomorrow? We have to wait. I have to ask him. Explain it to him. _Nervous now, she hurried to her desk, picking up the wrapped package that sat there. He stood by the door way as she walked back over to him handing it to him with arms outstretched keeping a protective distance between them. "Happy birthday Jacob." She said shyly, kissing him innocently on the cheek then stepping back into her blockade.

He roughly opened the package, tearing the tissue paper from the corners, uncovering a photo frame. Jacob inspected the gift, it was made from a dark cedar wood, the lines polished to a smooth finish. Inside was a photo of him and Renesme, sitting on the couch at Charlies house. He was sitting on the cushions and she was on the back rest, up behind him with her knees either side of his shoulders as she braided his hair. Jake remembered Bella taking that photo, he was mortified, worried that his mates would get hold of the picture and tease him mercifully about letting the girls _do _his hair.

Now seeing it, he felt differently. Seeing her hands as they combed through his hair, the look of love in her eyes as she looked down to him. In the picture he was half looking over his shoulder at her, their gazes were converging. Both of them wearing brilliant, teeth revealing, shining smiles. It was a photo of two people in love. _I love her._

"This is such a great photo Ness." He said stepping towards her. "I'll put it on my bedside table at home. Thank you." He reached up to her chin, his fingers lifting it up as he pressed his lips into hers. She let herself get lost in his embrace, then remembering her nervousness and her promise of cake, she broke away.

She took a small white waxed box from out of the bar fridge by the door. Ness opening the box and took out a small cupcake with deep red edges and creamy white frosting. She stuck a candle in it and lit it as she presented it to him "If I recall correctly, someone demanded red velvet cake?" she smiled as the light of the flame danced on his skin. "Happy birthday." He took the little cake and blew out the candle. "Did you make a wish?" she asked.

"Don't need to." A smouldering look of passion ignited in his eyes. "I have everything I could wish for right here." He put the cake down and reached his hands for her, pulling her face to his and pressing her with a lustful, heated, bruising kiss. His hand ran up and down her body, setting it alight.

She could fell his need pressing into her as his body surged against hers. Recognizing his hunger, Renesme moved away from him, breaking off the kiss. Panting, she sat down on the edge of her bed to compose herself, she patted the space beside her for Jake to sit. "Sit down Jake, we need to talk."

Jake sat, his heart sinking to the floor. _We need to talk? What the hell!? She's breaking up with me. She's breaking up with me on my Birthday! _"Are you breaking up with me? Cause that would be bull-shit if you are. You can train and go to the MP-Fucking-whatever-F's and still have me in your life. I'm not letting you break up with me."

"What? No! Jake." She laughed at the total opposite direction his mind had headed. "I'm not breaking up with you. I honestly think it would kill me to do that. Relax."

The lines on his face visibly smoothed as she rested her hand on his chest. "This is so embarrassing" she mumbled to herself as she leaned her forehead on to his shoulder her hands drifting down to his abs, felling the ripples under her fingers. She took a deep breath and squared herself. She stood up, and turned to face him, placing both hands on his shoulders, she locked her arms, bracing herself. _Just spit it out Red!_ "What I need to tell you is…I'm a virgin. I want to have sex with you, just not yet. Not tonight." She swallowed hard, waiting for a response, any response from him.

He just stared at her. _Right. so NOT breaking up with me then. _ His mouth was gaping like a fish.

"Say something." she ordered standing upright, her arms protectively wrapping around her middle.

"OK?" he offered. "I wasn't planning on doing anything tonight, just for the record." He tilted his head looking out the window smiling. "Tomorrow night maybe." He joked.

She shoved him, "Don't be a jerk. It's embarrassing enough to be so inexperienced. I just wanted to let you know where things stand." Her leg jittering, he reached for her hand, pulling her to sit back down next to him. "Ness you think I'm any more experienced than you?"

"But, Aponi." She reasoned, leaving the rest unsaid.

"We mucked around a bit, that's all. I never slept with her. She offered, but I didn't want to. Not with her. It's more than just the sex Ness. It's about respecting someone. Caring about them. A give and take." He paused, sweeping his thumb across her cheek. "It's called making love cause you're meant to love the other person. Like I love you… I'm in love with you Renesme Masen."

She grinned a slight lopsided grin, as her tears trickled down her cheeks. Her heart exploded and her stomach flittered. _He loves me! _She took him by both hands and laced her fingers with his, there palms touching. The woven bands they both wore on their wrists twisting into a figure eight. She leaned into him and pressed their brows together, noses touching. "I love you too Jake. I think my soul found it mate on the stage of Meany Hall but I was too dumb to see it." She cupped her hands around his jaw and leaned in to kiss him.

Her lips met his softly as she kissed first his top lip, then his bottom lip. She feathered light kissed along his cheek and down his defined Jaw. She ran her lips along his other cheek and kissed each eye lid before making her way back to his mouth. She met his lips with more force this time, dipping her tongue into his mouth. She ran the tip of her tongue along the edge of his teeth and sucked on his lower lip. Jakes hands had made their way under her shirt and his hands were fanned around her back, his thumbs rubbing circles on her abdomen. _Just because I said we can't have sex tonight doesn't mean we can't have little fun. _Renesme kneeled up onto the bed and threw her leg over Jakes lap, straddling him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

She pressed her hips in to his, through their jeans she could feel his hardness. He moaned into her mouth as his hand reached the back of her head and he pulled her kiss in further. She could feel her breath quicken and the feeling of him against her centre was sending shocks of heat through her body. She pushed him back on to the bed still straddling him. His hands, now rolled down her side as the heel of his hand brushed over the rise of her bust. She broke off contact, sitting up.

Jacob jerked his hand away, worried he'd taken a liberty too far. "Sorry." He apologised.

She whispered in a throaty voice as she rolled her pelvis against his rigidity. "Don't' be sorry Jake," She leaned over the bed looking across the room. "Stay. Right. Here." She ordered, as she dismounted, then she dove to reach something under Bella's bed. She grinned with mischief as she held up a Grey and Purple scarf.

Jake bellowed out in laughter as she shimmied over to the door, wrapping it around the handle. Shutting the door she turned so that her hand was still behind her. She stood eyeing Jake as he lay on his back, his arms folded behind him, propping up his head.

Jake heard the click as she locked the door from inside. He was roused at the way her hips rocked as she slinked back towards him. She reached behind her back again and unclasped her bra, threading it though her sleeve and expertly removing it through the arm hole. "I think this is ok." She stated. Fire blazing in his eyes he nodded, "Defiantly ok." His voice thick with desire. She undid the draw string of her track pant, slowly pulling the threads apart as the bow unravelled, then she threaded her thumbs into the waist band. "What about this?" she tested, looking up through the wisps of hair that hung in her eyes. "Still ok." Jake confirmed, enjoying the private show she was giving him. She lowered the cotton over her hips revealing the plain black bikini pant underneath.

She sunk the mattress, half sitting on the bed as she lifted her legs up, her feet towards Jake. "Help me." She asked. He sat up and unzipped the small zips at the ankles. She pushed then down over her feet as Jake, bunching the pants up, unceremoniously dumping them on the floor. Ren reached for the bottom of his sweater and t-shirt together lifting them over his head. "This is unquestionably, ok." He added, not even waiting for her playful question.

Renesme nodded, splaying her fingers over his chest. "But this is enough skin for tonight. Is that ok?" Jake held her face with both palms. "Ness, this is amazing. You are so bloody hot, I don't think I could handle seeing any more of you or I'd explode, literally." She laughed, her cheeks turning a crimson red.

She lay down next to him, nestling into the crook of his shoulder, her fingers gently scraping along his chest sending sensual tremors over him. She leaned her face up to his and kissed him softly. He'd had enough of soft. He rolled over on top of her, their bodies pressing together. His mouth crashing on to hers, she responded quickly, parting her knees and pulling him closer as he pressed his need against her panties. Supporting himself with one hand the other smoothed over her chest, cupping around her breast. He gently massaged her peaks, softly pinching her nipples between his fingers. The sensation coursed through Renesme, sending a surge of wetness between her legs, she bucked her hips to his, pressing in to the erection that was trapped in his jeans. Ness broke off their kissing, breathless. "You can take off you jeans if you want, it can't be very comfortable in them." Jake breathed in to her ear. "I'll take them of latter. Right now I think it's safer for both of us if I'm a little uncomfortable." She reached down and rubbed her hand along his hard member through his pants. He moaned "Fuck. Oh Ness, if you keep doing that it's gunna get real messy." She continued rubbing long strokes over his fly. "That's the point Jake." Her acknowledgment of her plan was his victory.

He bent his head down to her nipples and through her shirt he pulled her into his mouth, sucking on the fabric, he flicked her teat with his tongue. She moaned as pleasure surged through her, a tightening in her stomach, her core tingling. His mouth moved up, kissing along her neck until he reached her mouth. His hands found the skin of her stomach under her top as he slid his fingers up, caressing the lower edge of her breasts, his calloused fingers skimming over her nipples as they contracted under his touch. He switched to the other mound, pinching and twisting. Both of their hips rocking together, Ren still rubbing in long strokes over his manliness. Jake lifted up her shirt bringing his tongue over the bare flesh of her hard nipples. He bought her nipple into his mouth sucking gently, the pulling creating a heat in her core she was almost at her boiling point. She reached to Jakes fly, opening it enough to expose him. She rubbed quick circles around it while he suckled and licked her chest. Ness continued rubbing Jakes tip and stroking his length. As he sucked and fondled her nipples she made quiet calls of pleasure. Hearing Renesme's sounds of pleasure brought Jake to his height. His seed spilling out onto their bellies.

He rolled onto his side half sitting, reaching for his shirt. Jake rolled it up, pressing it into their stomachs, wiping up his spill. The suddenness of his release had caught him off guard surprising him and leaving him embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. What a fucking mess." Renesme pulled him pack down, pressing his head into her chest as she played with his hair. "Leave it. Just relax. Be here with me." She closed her eyes as she breathed in his sent. He smelt like pine and Earth and man. It smelt like him. She liked it. "I want us to be ok with everything Jake. Step by step. And that was just step one. I want to know everything there is to know about you Jacob Black. Good, bad, clean and dirty." He rubbed his face into her hair, breathing in the lavender sent. He allowed himself to be in the moment, enjoy the beautiful women in his arms. "Thank you Ness. That was so good." He reached up and coiled a curl of her hair around his finger, unwinding it and laying it over the rise of her chest. "I love you Renesme. Can you imagine how good the real thing will be? If it's anything like that just was, were going to need more than a weekend." With her shirt still up, exposing her, he traced the curve of her breast with his finger. Running it up and down over her nipple brushing the swell on the side with his fingernails, sending shivers over her. "You are so perfect." He stated. He could feel her shaking her head, "No one's perfect Jake."

"You're perfect for me Ness." Renesme revelled in his love, lightly running her finger over his soft lips. "I love you." She replied. He gently lowered her top back down and they snuggled into each other as they drifted off to sleep with whatever clothes they still had on, wrapped in each other's arms.

* * *

**French & French-Créole lines**

**L) 'I thought you didn't date?**

**R) I didn't but not I do.**

**L) maybe you need a bit of Creole in your native mix**

**R) Fuck you Laurent!**

**Well, what did you think? 8.2 seconds, Ness is fast (and so is Jake) Ha! sorry. I couldn't help the jab.**

**Thanks for the Reviews. They are very welcome, making my day a little brighter.!**


	16. Chapter 16 Prospects

Jacob woke to find himself twisted around Renesme. Her toned legs draped around his. At some point in the night he had awoken and removed his jeans, sleeping only in his boxers. He lifted his head propping it up with his arm. He looked over the woman sleeping next to him, the way her long neck followed down merging with her chest and shoulders. Her creamy skin, smooth and soft. With her eyes shut he could see how her long lashes brushed against her cheek, a curl of her long hair falling across one eye. Wanting to see all of her face he reached over a brushed the hair away, over her forehead. Her face turned instinctively to his hand a small smile starting on her lips. She sleepily opened her eyes, the way her striking green eyes looked up at him melted him like hot candle wax. "Morning." She smiled sleepily. "That was the best night sleep I've had in weeks."

"Morning love. Me too."

Jake leaned over her kissing her softly, she responded in kind, lifting her head off the pillow to intensify the pressure. Jake broke off the embrace. "I've got to have a shower. Can I borrow a towel?" he asked as he swivelled, sitting on the end of the bed sliding his jeans on.

He glissaded over to his duffle bag, finding himself a fresh set of clothes as Renesme pulled herself up also. She walked over to her wardrobe sliding on a pair of old track pants. Jake felt his dick twitch as he watched her milky ass bending over exposed. He hurried over to her, holding her from behind as he pushed his denim clad crouch into her, the same way he had done all those weeks ago in Charlie's kitchen. The difference being, this time Renesme arched her back, righting herself and leaning into him further.

"It's amazing how sexy you are even when you're not even trying" he rumbled, his voice deep and rich. With his front pressing into her rear she reached her arms up and held him behind his neck her body turning slightly into him she tilted her head up and tenderly kissed his jaw. He ran his hands over her sides sweeping over her breasts, she gave a little guttural moan as his thumbs brushed her nipples.

Her sounds quickened his desire and he turned her around to him pressing her against the wardrobe his lips crushing onto hers. Mouths, tongues and teeth clashing as the couple consumed one another. He pulled one of her legs up to his hip, his powerful hand gripping around her thigh as she balanced on one leg. The other hand reaching up under her shirt cupping her.

"God you two! Get a room!" called a female voice from the doorway. Jake and Ness jumped apart, Ness bumping her head on the cabinet above.

"Jesus Bella. Ever herd of knocking?" called Jake as Bella unhooked the scarf off the door tossing it under her bed.

"Ha! About time I repay both of you with a little barging in!" she cheered pointing at them both and nodding her approval of their compromising position.

Rubbing her sore head, Renesme busied herself, looking for a fresh towel to give Jake, she was feeling mortified beyond belief. Jake, on the other hand, was laughing at the situation, always so comfortable in himself. "Relax Ness, Bella loves us both, she's only being a shit, aren't you?" he grinned, rubbing his knuckles into Bella's hair like a little brother does. She pushed him away as he scooped up his clothes taking the towel from Renesme. He kissed Ness chastely on her heated cheek. "I'm going to wash up."

She watched as he swaggered out the room, his chest bare, the muscles in his back rippling as his arms swung, his butt tucked attractively into the low slung jeans.

"Would you stoop eye fucking him for two seconds and tell me how your night went!" exclaimed Bella a little too loudly. Ness could hear Jakes laughter as he moved down the hall. "I wasn't _eye fucking _him." She defended, she looked down to the linoleum on floor of their dorm and shrugged. "I was just… admiring. And we didn't 'do it' last night either."

Bella took her hand and the friends sat together on the small cough. "Why not? I thought that was the plan for this weekend. You invited the boy down to stay with you. It's pretty obvious what the plan was." Renesme's eyes popped open, her hand flush against her chest. "Oh God. I invited him down to stay didn't I?" mostly talking to herself she rambled on, "What else would he think? He said he wasn't expecting anything, but maybe he was just saying that?" she stood, pacing back and forth. Her hands gesturing wildly, her thoughts a mess. "It's not like we didn't do _anything._" she explained to Bella. "It's just that we didn't…" she swirled her hands in the air, willing the words to flow. "Go a_ll the way._ I have a really important race today and I didn't want to be sore. What if it was so bad it effected my run?" Ness lost herself in an intriguing idea. _ I don't have a race tomorrow. We could have all night and tomorrow to ourselves. _

She turned suddenly kneeling in front of Bella, gripping her tightly by both hands. "Bella, can you sleep at Angela's again tonight. Please."

Bella pulled her hand from Ness'. "You can let go of my hands Ren. You have my attention. And Yes, I was planning on staying at Ange's again anyway."

Distracted by her own thoughts Renesme sat. Bella was taking some sort of Female sexuality in Literature class and she seemed to have a never ending supply of erotic literature. Not to mention there was always a Cosmo or similar magazine with an informative sealed section sitting on the rec room coffee table for reading. Ness thought she had a good grip on 'how to be good in bed' (pun intended) but it was one thing to put the theory into practice and the thought both terrified and thrilled her. "Bella, can I ask you something?"

"What?" she asked, her voice taking on a mature tone. Bella knew full-well the direction their tête-à-tête was headed.

"Did it hurt much?"

Bella chewed on her bottom lip, thinking carefully about her response. "Yes. A lot. Even a few of the times after. But if he's _good_, it will feel good overall, so you won't mind so much. But you were probably right not to do it last night. I remember it still hurt the next day, it killed to pee too." Bella looked at her friend, she saw the terror in her eyes. She felt an instant regret over her candour and quickly tried to think of something to allay her uncertainties. "They say if you use tampons you kind of tear it yourself, so maybe it want be that bad." She added pitifully.

Bella decided then and there, that the best course of action was to have a little chat with Jacob, the birds and the bee's one-o-one. She didn't want either of her friends hurt in any way. Bella thought she could be a surrogate sister to Jake. If that is what big sisters did?

"Yeah, maybe" Ness agreed half-heartedly, still feeling less reassured than she did before. "Maybe I could take some aspirin before or something?"

"It couldn't hurt. But my best advice would be to take it slow. I mean before, like, make sure your… ready… down there. And _really_ slow when it goes in." Bella stood making a grunting noise. "I can't believe I'm talking about Jake's junk. This is so weird."

Renesme was still lost in her own world, thinking about what plans she would put in place for the evening. She wondered over to her bed, carefully placing the pillows and smoothing out the covers. Once done, she huffed and flung herself down on top, half pulling the cover over herself, this of course left her bed the dishevelled mess that it was only minutes earlier. She propped herself up on an elbow and looked over to Bella, a look of deliberation on her face. "Bells, do you have any lacy nighties or something I could borrow?"

Bella smirked, moving over to her chest of draws. "Do I have lingerie? Have you met Edwards's sister? Yes. I most defiantly do." She prided, opening the draw of her secret stash. Ness got up off the messy bed and both girls began to sift through the pile of sheer clothing. "I like this one." Commented Renesme, holding up a simple white chemise with black lace trim just as Jake entered, fresh from his shower. Renesme's fingers froze on the satin and lace she was holding up and thrust it back into the draw, slamming it shut.

Jake laughed as he watched the two girls tunning around in a panic. They looked like little dear in headlights. He had no idea what they were doing to make them look so flustered but he new to leave well enough alone. Still laughing, he said to Ness, "Are you having a shower? Cause if you are, make it snappy, I'm taking you both out for breakfast and I'm hungry." Renesme picked up her folded clothes and scurried out to the bathroom.

Bella watched Jake with a knowing eye. "So you had a nice time last night, hey?" she asked, in an attempt to be the big sister she always wanted to be, not as the former object of his desires. His lips jerked, his eyes narrowing, "What did you two talk about while I was gone? Do girls ever stop chattering?" he huffed as he tidied the covers of Renesme's bed. _Our bed_. "Yes. I had a very nice evening with my girlfriend, thank you for asking." A fair amount of resentment in his tenor.

"Alright Jacob," she atoned, " Calm down, I don't want details. Really, I don't. What I do want though, is to make sure you've done your homework." Jake look at her with puzzled eyes, her direction lost on him.

"Do you know what she has planned for the two of you tonight?"

"No, but I'd say that's between me and her though!" Jake stilled his hands, turning to look at his friend. Was she jealous? Did it take finally moving on and finding someone he who could love that could love him with as much passion in return? _I don't love you like that anymore Bella._ "Why are you suddenly so interested Bells?"

"I'm not actually. I just really care about that girl." He head gesturing to the door Renesme had just exited.

"So do I." he defended. His arms crossing over his broad chest.

"I know you do. But she's more frighted about it than I'll bet she's letting you know. I just don't want to see her hurt, emotionally and physically... All I'm saying is do you home work."

Jakes annoyance quickly turning to embarrassment as he realised what she was endeavouring to talk about. Jake was slowly turning a russet tinged red, mortified Bella was having this discussion with him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Watch some porn? I think I know what goes where Bella."_ Did she just have this discussion with Ness too? Kill me now._

"I don't mean basic anatomy Jake. You might know the essentials but there's more to it than just a penis, a vagina and a hymen."

He turned looking out the window as if he wanted to jump right out of it, just to get away from the uncomfortable one-on-one. _it cant be that far down._ She continued, on a roll. "There is an entire instruction manual out there and I wish I'd made Edward read it first."

"Oh God Bella. I don't want to talk about this." He groaned, desperate for escape. She rummaged around her desk draw, pulling out a small book and handing it to Jake. He read the title, 'How to have sex for the first time' and he looked at his friend with unbelieving eyes. "Are you seriously giving me this to read?"

"Just read it. It won't take you that long." She instructed. "Hide it in a comic or something. Read it when you're at the meet."

Shaking his head madly he pushed the small book back into her hands. "I don't want it Bella. Thanks, but you keep it."

"No Jake, you do need it. You love Ren right? And you don't want to hurt her right?" he nodded, knowing he was defeated. "Then you should read it. Humour me. What can it hurt? Even if you only learn one thing, it'll be worth it."

He was hunched over his duffle, hiding the book in his bag as Ness came back into the room. _I cant believe that just happened. I think I have three big sisters now. Great! Just fucking great!_

* * *

**Poor Jake. That chapter brought back some cringe worthy teenage memories for me. Except I was the big sister! **

**Hope you enjoyed. Please review. (It makes me feel popular) :-} x M**


	17. Chapter 17 The Competition

Later that afternoon Jake found himself sitting in a back corner of the indoor stadium reading a newspaper. Well, that's what it looked like to others. Bells little book was quite informative. Very clear pictures... Jacob learnt a lot that afternoon.

Renesme ran a great time that evening, winning and putting her in good standings for the next meet and her chances of sponsorship. Jake meet her at the finish line as he had done the previous night. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes shone as her breathlessly jogged over to him. "You did good babe. 8.18, that's good right? She linked her fingers through his over the cold metal bar of the fence. "Yeah. It's exactly what I wanted to run. Gives me something to improve on for the Mountain Pacific's." she sat, taking off her track spikes continuing to chat. "I can't wait till the weather warms up." Her cheeks flushed from the exertion of the sprint, her eyes glassy with excitement as she talked about her sport with animation. "We go outside, and Jake! You can see me do one hundred meters. That's the real event. The one that counts. Did I tell you there's an invitational at USC, in LA this year?" she was looking up to the roof as if the stars were in her eyes. Jacob loved seeing this innocent care-free side of her. It made him love her even more, if that was even possible. "I've never been to Sothern California. We could go to Disneyland and we can swim at the beach."

"You do know Ness, I live about 500 feet from the Pacific Ocean." He chuckled. She shook her head and cheerful slapped the air in front of her. "I mean like, a real beach, a sunny beach, one with white sand where it's warm enough to actually enjoy swimming." She stopped, giving him a look of hope, her eyes shining like emeralds. "That's assuming you would want to go down there on a mini break with me?" she bit her bottom lip with eagerness. He laughed, her enthusiasm contagious. "Of course I want to go. Maybe I'll get some pom-poms and really be your personal cheer squad." She laughed out loud, jumping up and over the fence. Ness wrapped her arms around him pressing her chest into him. "I'd like to see you in a cheerleader outfit, show off your legs." She sniggered teasingly, he simply pulled her in for a kiss.

"Yeah well, will I finally get to see you in those little two pieces you girls wear?" she winked at him "If you play your cards right, you might even be able to take them off." Jake felt his arousal surge through him. After reading about sex all afternoon he was on the precipice already, Ness seemed determined to propel him over. "You ready to get out of here?" He growled, in to her ear, sucking on her lobe then feathering light kisses down her neck. She leaned in to his caress, closing her eyes to enjoy his touch. "About 20 more minutes. We have to wait for the medal ceremony."

Jake beamed with pride, taking photos on his phone as Renesme stood on to the top of the dais. She had put her U Dub track suit over her running clothes, her joggers were shoved on with the laces open and hanging down. Her hair was out and flowing over her shoulder in a crimp from having been in a tight braid. Ren's eyes were focused on Jakes as she stood up in to the platform, only leaving his for the briefest of moments to bend forward and respond to the man in a suit giving her the medal.

After the national anthem had played, Jake made his way over to Renesme, by then, many of the other athletes were gathered around her. She took him by the hand as one of the girls said. "Aren't you going to introduce us to your good luck charm?" Ness threaded her arm through his as she gestured to the individuals in the group. "Everyone this is Jake, Jake this is Courtney, Solomon, Chris, Darcy and Kate." There was a collective murmur of hellos. A tall, muscular, blond surfer type stood up to shake his hand, he remembered his name was Chris. He seemed to grip Jakes hand harder than was necessary in attempt to gauge him. "So you go to college here Jake?" asked Chris, his tone integrative. Renesme stood slightly in front of Jake her stance defensive in nature. "He's moving here in June to start studying." Jacob looked between Ness and Chris, he was looking at her with a burning that Jake understood. Jake's nostrils flared and his envious side swelled. Jacob could tell instinctively that this man coveted what was his. And he didn't like it.

Chris moved his hand and rubbed it along Renesme's bare arm. Jake really didn't like that. "You want to come back to my place? I'm cooking some post comp pasta." His question directed solely at Renesme, as if to give her an ultimatum between himself and Jake. Jake ground his molars together stepping in closer to pick the ass hole up by the neck of his pansy ass singlet. Sensing Jakes intension, Renesme's stance straightened. She leaned slightly into Jake, her back pressing into his chest as if to hold him back. "Sorry, can't." she rejected. "I've got a hot date with my native Adonis here." She inclined her head to Jake, wrapping her fingers through his, pulling him along. "Bye guys." she called to the others as she towed Jake through the field to the changing rooms.

Once they were far enough away, Renesme let out a grunt. "The nerve of him. Those pole vault guys really think their god's gift to women." She turned to Jake, a small grin forming. "I thought you were gunna hit him there for a minute." Jake huffed, nodding, "Until you stepped in I _was_ gunna hit him. Another ex?" he asked, the jealousy blistering off him. "What do you mean another ex? I don't have _any _ex's. He asked me out a few times. But I don't date remember?" She wrapped her arms around his waist as they walked together their steps synchronising. "It turns out, all I do is fall madly in love with my soul mate." She said, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked to the far side of the field.

When they reached the other side if the indoor stadium, she unwound herself from around Jake and made her way into the female changing rooms. Less than ten minutes later, Renesme emerged in a pair of tight dark blue jeans and cream knitted top. She had a pair of tan pumps on that made her legs look like they went on for ever. She strolled over to Jake.

"You like what you see?" She asked as he placed both his hand on her hips. He leant down for a soft sensuous kiss. It was a nice surprise to only have a few inches to lean down he thought. Her hair smelt like cherries tonight and it cascaded down her back, her ringlets glossy and full of body as she walked. "You look stunning," he said, his voice thick with lust as his hands ran up and down her sides.

She leaned back, looking up into his dark eyes "Don't you want to know where we're going?"

"I don't mind, as long as I'm with you."

She took his hand as they made their way onto the street of the university. The chilly wind buffeting against them. The cold enveloping them along with the darkness. They hurried along and quickly found the shelter of the walkways as Renesme led Jake through the campus. They finally ended at the HUB at Pagliacci's Pizzeria where they had eaten the first night they had met. The night she had fallen in love with him. They once again shared a giant pizza, happily chatting.

"I've almost finished the motor on your Falcon, by the way. I'm going to attempt to hammer out the dent on the back myself and then it should be ready to get painted. You still happy with the original aqua?" she nodded, amazed at how fast he worked. Jake had spent most of his waking hours over the last two weeks re-building that car for Ness. "So will it be finished after the paint?" she asked, excited to finally be able to see Jakes handy work. "Almost, I really think we should re-cover the seats too."

Comfortable in the normalcy of their conversation, she picked at the pizza on her plate, peeling off all the olives and popping them into her mouth. She slid the now olive free slice onto Jakes plate. "Yeah, let's do the seats then, they were looking pretty damaged." He looked down at his dish, his head shaking in incredulity.

"What?" she asked, afraid she'd offended him by handling his food. "I know you don't really like olives."

Jacob looked at her, his brows knitted together, all talk of cars forgotten. His tone tender and amazed, "How do you even know I don't, like olives?"

Avoiding eye contact, she analysed the candle that sat in the centre of their little round table. Ness picked at the wax that had dripped on to the red checked table cloth. "I just remembered from last time we were here."

Jake stood up from the table his chair screeching a little on the concrete floor as he leaned over to Ness, kissing her softly on the lips, then he sat back down taking a large bit from his custom made slice. "Do you know how amazing you are? Nobody knows me better than you do." He took a large gulp of his water and wiped his mouth on the paper napkin.

He shuffled his chair over, bringing it alongside hers and placed both his hands on top of her thighs, moving slowly along the length of them. He leaned into her neck and whispered softly in to her ear. "I want to know you better than anyone else does." He kissed along her jaw and down her soft throat. His feathery touch sending heated shivers over her. She inclined her head back as he sucked on her earlobe, his teeth clinking on her earing, his hot breath flowing down her neck. "I want to know what makes you satisfied, what makes you moan, what makes you come. I want to wrap myself around you. I want to make you feel desired." She swallowed, her mouth dry, her crouch wet. Her body was leaning into his, swaying with the giddy feeling his words brought. She opened her eyes, her gaze burning into his.

She lifted her hand to his face and ran her fingers over his lips. Then she brought his hand from where it rested on the table to her lips and took one of his large fingers into her mouth. Never breaking eye contact, she drew in his finger, sucking it in and out, a tantalising preview of what was yet to come. She was a good tease. But he could tell from the look of hunger in her eyes she wasn't playing him. That was end of Jakes patience. He reached for his wallet, pulling out a fifty and threw it on the table. He gripped Renesme's hand pulling her up to him. "Are you ready?" he asked, the huskiness of his arousal in his voice. She nodded, her tongue slowly drifting over her lower lip, moisture gleaming off it. "I want you to know _all _of me."

* * *

**I just got a new iPhone so I'm a little distracted by my shiny new toy. You might just have to wait a bit to see what's next! **

** I might be motivated by a few more reviews though! ;-}**


	18. Chapter 18 True love and Delusions

They hurried back to the student house, both full of expectation, keen to have their bodies wrapped around each other. The wind still buffeted around them, sending both their hair awry. As the entered the entrance hall of the dorm, into the warm sheltered quarters, Jake crashed Renesme against the inside wall. His body pressing into hers. His hands gripping hers above her head as he pushed through the layers of clothes against her. His solid erection pressing into her through his jeans. She rocked into him her pelvis having a mind of its own.

She kissed him, her tongue gliding along the inside of his mouth. Moaning into her mouth, his knees weakening, he buckled down as her caresses melted him. "Let's go upstairs." She whispered breathlessly as she look his hand and lead him up.

Standing in the hallway outside the locked door, she flicked through her key ring, fingers trembling as she pushed the key in, turning the lock. Jake stood behind her, his chest pressed hard against her back, he draped her hair over her shoulder and kissed a trail along her neck, following the seam of her shirt. His hands were flush against her ribs, his open, flat palms sliding over her nipples through her clothes. She groaned as the lock opened and together they stepped through the door.

In the darkness of the room Renesme reached her arm out, flicking on the light. She separated from Jake and threw her bag on to her desk and bent down to take off her heels. She turned to the door with the scarf in hand and noticed a small A3 yellow envelope on the floor, it sat in the floor as if it had been pushed underneath the door jam. Ness felt a cold shiver as a creeping feeling covered her scalp, she dismissed it, shaking it off. "What's this?" she asked, her eyes flicking expectantly to Jakes as she bent down to pick up the mystery object. She turned it over, on the front, in large red pen was a heart and inside it, in messy writing was the word 'Renesme'.

Ness bit her lip and smiled to Jake. "When did you get a chance to do this?" she asked, turning it back over to open.

Jake frowned, shaking his head "It's not from me?" he said, a sick feeling setting on him.

She opened the envelope and held out her hand, the contents falling out.

It was photos, dozens of photos. All of Renesme.

Candid, covert shots of her; at training at the track, at the gym, in the library, walking through the quad, her climbing into Bella's truck. She flicked through them, her breathing becoming erratic. The last was a photo of both her and Jake. She was in her long black spandex pants, she was leaning into him, the fence of the indoor stadium between them, she was kissing him and his hand was cupped around her ass. _That was just last night! _The truly unsettling part about the picture however, was how Jakes face had been scratched out. Like the intruder couldn't stand seeing his face. Deep gouges were broken in the gloss paper, the white backing of the photo visible from the front.

Renesme's heart pounded. She felt the panic rising in her. She lunged for the open door, slamming it shut and locking it. She leaned into the door looking at Jake from across the room as he flicked through the photographs once more. "Some of these are _months_ old Ness, it's summer in this one." He held it up to her, it was one of her sitting in an outdoor checked rug, the sun was bright and the suggestion of a picnic lunch was on the image. The photo was zoomed in on her only, all evidence of the friends who might have been sitting next to her cropped out.

"This is scary Jake. What am I gunna do?" He stood up from the bed, striding over to her. His arms wrapped around her, her face pressing into his chest as she breathed. "_We_ are taking this to the police. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. I'll keep you safe and sound. Well find out who this fucker is and then I'll fucking rip his throat out."

They spent a large portion of the night in the university police beat. Ness was racking her brain to think of names of anyone who might be likely to do this. She came up with several, there were many guys who had shown an interested in her, all had been rejected, bar Jake. He sat by her, rubbing his warm hands over her back, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze as the questions continued. There wasn't much the police could do though, as disturbin was there wasn't actually anything illegal about sending someone a 'gift' or taking photos of that person in public places. Ness felt sick to her stomach.

It was approaching three in the morning before they finally made it back to the room. Quietly they changed into their sleep clothes and slid into bed. Jake held her as she nestled in to him, he shushed in her ear as her tears fell. He held her till her tears gave out and she slept. Jake closed his eyes as he kissed her hair, breathing in her floral smell. All he wanted was to protect her. Care for her. Safeguard her from the crazy person who thought they had some moronic claim on her. _Knowing _her would have to wait.

- o ~ O * O ~ o –

The next morning Ness and Jacob slept late. Bella came home around lunch time and they filled her in on the events of last night. Felling stifled by the confines of the dorm the trio decide to go out for lunch before Jake had to head back to La Push in the afternoon. Ness was glad for the exertion. She needed to get out. Have some fun. She wanted to at least try to maintain a normal life. Not allow herself to be crippled with fear.

They got as far as the car park before the smokescreen of a normal life vanished.

As they approached Jake's car they were stopped short by the scene in front of them. The words 'Go Away' had been sprayed across the door in black spray paint. On the bonnet, lay a dead bird. Its eviscerated corpse positioned across the hood, wings splayed out like a crucifix. Its intestines fanned over the hood. A sickening, nauseating horror tricked through her. She ran over to the garden nearest her and emptied her stomach.

Bella covered her hands over her mouth and then ruffled through her bag to find her phone. "I'm calling the police." She said, as she moved closer, inspecting the car further.

Still feeling sick to her stomach, but done retching for the time being, Ness move back over to Jake. His strong arms bringing her in for a comforting embrace. "This is escalating." He muttered, "I read somewhere that once weirdos start killing things like animals, it's only a step away from hurting humans." He shook Ness by the shoulders his calm facade cracking as the panic seeped out. "I'm not letting you out of my site Ness. You hear me?" she nodded into his chest, squeezing her arms around his middle. "I'll stay here all week long, I'm not leaving until this psycho is behind bars or dead…Preferably dead."

She leaned back looking up to him. "You can't stay here forever Jake. I have classes. You have your first day at work tomorrow."

He shook his head, his jaw setting firmly. "I don't care about the _job_ Renesme. I care about _you_."

She looked over at the dead animal sprawled sickeningly on the hood. She re-read the words sprayed across the side. _Go Away._ It seemed so child-like. Such a juvenile comment for such an adult action. Whoever he was though, he seemed angry at Jake. Most of the hatred was directed towards him. She stiffened in his arms as realisation washed over her. _He _was the one in danger. Not her. All the things she had received had been gifts, weird and frightening, but gifts. This weirdo had an adoration for her, however miss placed. It was Jakes presence that had intensified the obsession to violence. As much as she wanted him to stay, to have his warm, safe arms around her. She knew the safest thing, for both of them, was for Jake to stay away from Seattle.

"You have to leave" she said under her breath. He looked down at her, his brows knitted together in confusion. She looked up at him through her wet lashes, her eyes met. She loved the rich colour of his eyes, the deep dark brown. She felt like she could swim through the colour, immerse herself in them, they were so loving, so expressive, so sincerely the windows of his beautiful soul. She wanted to memorise that chocolate colour, every fleck and golden highlight in them as his troubled gaze looked at her.

"You have to leave Jake. You can't stay here tonight. It's because your _here_ that this guy's done this." His mouth gaped open, disbelief muting him. "I don't mean that's this is your fault. I mean it's made him jealous. I don't think he's gunna hurt me. I think he's gunna hurt _you." _Her last words emphasised by the way she balled his shirt up into her fists on his chest.

"He might _try _and hurt me Ness, your right. But I wouldn't assume her won't hurt you too. I'm not leaving you on your own. I'm not." She stared into his eyes, her hands held his face as her decision solidified. She needed him to understand. She needed him safe, she needed it more than anything else in the world. "Yes you are. You're not staying here. I mean it. You're going home, tonight. You're going to start your new job tomorrow. Your gunna look after your dad. Your gunna fix up cars. Finish my car. Sit and pout for all care. But you're not staying here. Do you hear me Jake?"

"I hear you, but I'm not going. I'm not going anywhere. Definitely not back to La Push." Just as she was about to debate him further, a police car came in to the lot. Interrupting their first ever argument.

Once again they spent several hours giving statements and answering questions in the rec room. This time Bella was with them as well. It was mid-afternoon before they were done. Then they fetched up buckets and a hose and attempted to clean off the blood, feathers and paint on Jakes car. Renesme scrubbed until her hands were red raw, the cold winter air freezing on her bare wet hands. The numbness was mirrored inside her.

Once the car was clean, they made their way inside to warm up. No sooner were the trio in the door and Renesme was on the floor reaching for Jakes bag, stuffing it with his clothes. Jake crouched down to her, his head angled almost 90° in an attempt to meet her eyes. "Hey." He comforted, tipping her head up with soft fingers under her chin. "I'm not going Ness. Stop packing me up." She stared up at him, Jakes dark eyes were strong and determined. But she was more determined. She breathed slowly through her nose. Her teeth grinding together. She zipped up his bag and stood. With calm coldness the hung the bag over his shoulder. "Yes you are."

"God Ness! Why won't you let me look after you?"

"It's not me that need looking after Jake. Now, go home."

"My only home is with you. Don't you get it?"

"I get it Jake. I get it. It's you who don't get it. You think I _want_ you to go? I don't _want_ this. I _need_ it. I _need _you to go. I _need_ you safe." She cried through clenched teeth. Tears threatening in her eyes. Her secret fears bubbling to the surface and over flowing with ferocity.

"Whoever this psycho is, I could take him." He puffed, attempting to mask his fears with confidence.

"What, you're immortal?" she snapped sardonically. "Unbreakable? Who knows what he's capable of? He could have a fucking gun Jake. A gun!" she was shouting at him now. "I can't lose you. I can't lose any more people I love. Don't you get it?" she screamed, her tears finally falling. "You have to go." She pleaded, her body shuddering with tears. Jacob pulled her in to an embrace. Holding her up as her knees gave way, her body racked with sobs.

Bella, who had been a quiet observer throughout Renesme's tirade came over. Placing a supportive hand on Ren's back she looked up at Jake and nodded. "She right. You're the one this sicko might hurt. You guys can't let him control your life. Were you just going to bail on your first day at work? Bail on your dad?" she didn't wait for his answer. "You have to go home Jake."

Jake glared at his friend. "Traitor." He accused.

"Don't be child Jake." Bella replied sharply. "Look at it objectively. I rang my dad. He said the same thing. Go pack to La Push tonight. I'll drive Ren down when she's free on the weekends. You'll just have to phone and Skype." She flopped down on to her bed, picking up a picture frame on her bed side table. "I have to do it for four years, you can do it for a few weeks."

Jake felt completely outnumbered. _Why did girls always band together?_ His shoulders slumped and his head hung as they walked back down to the car park. He threw his bag in the back seat and turned to Renesme. She looked so fragile and scared, like a little bird, so easily crushed. A little red robin. _Rouge-gorge_. But behind the trembling lips and the red, tear soaked eyes, Jake could see her strength. Her determination. Her ability to rise from the gutter. To rise above. To survive. He pulled her in for a bone crushing, sole shattering hug.

"You know I don't like this." He muttered in to her hair. "I know." She whispered. He hadn't liked the idea of being away from her when it was just about missing her, but now, with a mad man on the loose he completely abhorred it.

The hot tearing in his gut shredding further as he breathed in the lavender sent on her, his chest filling. "When do you think you can come down?"

"I have to go to New Mexico next weekend, then we have the Husky classic here and MPSF's are the weekend after. I don't have anything the first week in March?" She sighed leaning her forehead against his. March. That seemed like a life time away.

Four weeks. He could wait four weeks. _It'll be torture._ _Blue ball torture_. _But I can do it_.

Ness smother her hands over his chest. "And don't forget, I'll be able to drive myself as soon as the cars finished."

"Watch how fast I work woman." He responded dryly.

He tried not to feel angry. But he was. He wasn't angry at her, just angry at the whole situation.

Why was it, he thought, that some people coasted through life? And others just kept getting streaming hot piles of turd dumped on top of them. It didn't seem fair. Life wasn't fair. But you get up, wash the turd of life off your shoulders and kept on going. Ness was a veteran at getting back up.

She held him tight around the waist, burying her face into his chest breathing him in. Then lent back, her hips still pushed to his, her back arched as she looked up to his face. "You know I hate this too? Don't you?" She said, her eyes searching for his understanding. "As much as it breaks my heart to say it. It's probably better this way. You, my boy are a very big distraction." Her hips pushed further into his to outline her gist. Then her mood changed, her shoulders slumped and she reached up to his face, her fingers brushing over his lips. The feathery light sensation sent an electric shudder through him "Sorry we didn't get to have the night I'd planned."

"Nessie, it was a perfect night… up until the moment we found psychopathic photos under your door. But the bit that was with you. Just us. That's all I need. To have you. To hold you. To love you. For you to love me back. That's all I want. You're everything I need and I… I want to be everything you need too." The conviction she saw in him liquefied her insides. She loved that boy more than her own life. She hoped it never came to that, but if it ever did, she knew, without a doubt she'd give the ultimate sacrifice for him.

"I love you Jacob. I don't think you know how much I need you, how much you've helped me already. I feel like I can trust myself to love someone. Open up, face my demons, face whatever _this is_." She gestured to the dorms where the photos had been delivered to. "Because of you. YOU did that for me. You _are_ everything I need." She place her palms either side of his face, pulling his tall frame down and lifting onto her toes so that their eyes were level. She needed him to understand the depth of her love. Her green eyes flicked back and forth between his. She was so close, their lips were inches apart, her sweet breath mingling with his. "Your _love_ is my nourishment. I'm nothing without you. YOU. You are my gravity Jacob." His heart swelled. He didn't think he could possibly love her more than he did and then she went and said things like that. He pressed his lips onto hers. Soft, slow. Memorising the feeling of her. He encased his hands around her. His fingers burrowed into her jacket, onto her waist as if they knew, instinctively that they belonged there. His hands roaming up and down her sides. Felling the ripple of her ribs. The seductive way her waist curled in, the curve of her hip. So feminine. His woman.

They stood together like that until the sun began to dip over the horizon, a honk of a passing car broke them out of their moment. "I guess I should go." The air was cold. The night was still. She felt like they were in there own little bubble. A bubble that she was prodding at until it was about to burst. "Be safe." She called as he settled into the car, starting the engine.

He smiled a sad lopsided grin and lifted his fingers to his lips and kissed them. "Right back at ya sweet heart." He called a he reluctantly drove off into the twilight.

- o ~ O * O ~ o -

About twenty minutes later, in the quiet of their dorm room, there was a knock at the door. Bella stood up, rolling off her bed to open it. She called at the latch. "Who is it?"

"It's me Bells."

She opened the door. "Jake? What are you doing back?"

"I forgot to tell Ness something." He said looking around the room for her. "She's not here. She went for a run." She added casually as she walked back to lie on her bed.

Alarm swept across his face. "What do you mean she went for a run?" he yelled. "In the dark!? With a fucking stalker out there!?" He threw his head back, his hands pulling at the roots of his hair. "Christ Bella. I go for twenty minutes and you already let her put herself in danger."

Terror spread through Bella. "I didn't think Jake. I didn't think about it being dark out." she started to pace the small room, her fingers fisted in her hair. "She always goes for a run to blow off steam. I didn't think."

Jake pulled his phone out and called Renesme's number... No answer.

He called again... Straight to voice mail.

He called a third time... Still no answer. He left a message for her this time. "Hey Ness. Are you ok? Call me as soon as you get this ok. I love you." His voice breaking as he left the message.

He tuned to Bella as he moved to the door. "Will you stay here incase she comes back? I'm going to drive around a bit." Bella nodded as Jake Raced down to his car. He spent the next half hour franticly driving the streets of the campus, searching for her.

On that cold January evening the streets were deserted. The headlights of his car illuminating empty foot paths. The silhouette of the skeletal winter trees shot up into the black sky.

The moon was hidden behind thick clouds.

No stars were shining that night.

Darkness was enveloping him.

She was gone.

* * *

**Who goes jogging at night? Right?**

**Sorry about the giant cock block but, where's the fun in that?**

**Loving the review folks. I'm turning in to some obsessed maniac. Running to my phone to check if I have a new email review every half hour. its sick. I love it. keep them coming!**


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